One thing about myself: I’m– err, is “obsessed” an okay word to use here– okay, fine, obsessed with cheesy Lifetime romance movies, and specifically royalty themed ones at that. I devour them all, with pleasure. Sometimes you just need to kick back and watch a feel-good, happily-ever-after film to calm down and relax, right? Especially in today’s stressful times. So, at the mere announcement that Lifetime would make another made-for-television movie chronicling the courtship and eventually engagement of the Royal Family, needless to say, I was excited. I mean, I loved their Will & Kate love story movie that aired back in time for their 2011 Royal Wedding starring Grey’s Anatomy surgical resident Camilla Luddington as the future Duchess.)
So, in preparation for the Royal Wedding later this week, of course I had to watch Lifetime’s “Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance” in all it’s cheesy goodness. Starring Parisa Fitz-Henley as the former Suits actress (I mean, doppleganger alert!!) and Murray Fraser (although the Scottish actor is not a natural ginger) as the famed prince, it’s definitely all I imagined a royalty-themed Lifetime romance movie to be, with some, err, questionable moments of “um, did that actually happen?” cushioned around cheesy romance movie goodness, and the ultimate scene stealers of Prince George and Princess Charlotte’s adorable onscreen counterparts.
Now, sit back, relax and watch how Harry met Meghan (come on, you knew that pun was coming!) and read on for a random collection of my thoughts and musings from watching your next royal-themed guilty pleasure.
Okay, here we go:
- We start with a young “Prince Harry”, post-Diana’s funeral on a safari with his “Pa” and big brother. Um, did that Harry running away, next to a growling lion actually happen? Because, terrifying.
- “Diana” and little “Harry” sneaking donuts in the palace, aww.
- A young “Meghan Markle” starts her feminist agenda early on, and YOU GO, Young Meghan!
- Jump ahead, Markle is Rachel Zane shooting Suits and giving her two-cents on how to make Rachel more empowering; Go, Meghan, Go!
- Flip to London (still in 2016), where “Harry” is out partying and clubbing. Err, wasn’t that years before they met and not mere months?? Um, continuity.
- Was the only casting requirement for Prince William that his hairline must be receding? Because that’s like the only similarity between the actor and the Duke of Cambridge.
- Haha “Charles,” “After the Nazi costume and showing off the family jewels in Las Vegas…” HA HA HA.
- What’s with this whole painting Will and Kate’s marriage as stiff?? Like, no, they are happy IRL… Come on, Lifetime. Who’s buying that?
- Back to “Meghan” in Suits land, the couple’s mutual friend “Violet” sets the two up. “Is he nice,” Accurate. “Is she hot,” Come on, like Harry actually asked that? In 2016, he wasn’t into the partying/wild side anymore. Eye roll.
- Look at “Harry” being 40 minutes late, and “Meghan” isn’t having any of it. Bam.
- Is it me or is Murray Fraser a bit more attractive than the actual Prince Harry? Er, sorry not sorry…
- This first date is quintessential Lifetime/romance movie. And I love it. Definitely scripted truly to be the “best blind date ever.”
- Haha, “Meghan” just oh so casually reading The Crown, as “Harry” (who introduces himself on the phone as Harry… Mountbatten-Windsor when she feigns remembering him lolol) pauses a scene of Suits… Haha well done, writers, well done.
- DUDE, THEIR SECOND DATE IS A TRIP TO BOTSWANA TOGETHER. Um, where do I get my own Prince Harry???
- BABY “GEORGE” AND “CHARLOTTE.” Best (and cutest) characters!! I mean, so adorable.
- That lion metaphor, aww perfectly timed with the film’s Mother’s Day premiere. I see what you did there, writers.
- HA HA “Harry” comparing “Meghan’s” story of being biracial to being “a ginger in England” with some truly terrible bad jokes… And are we to believe that Meghan has never heard of the term “ginger??”
- Is this super-light, PG-13-type sex scene the one that the Royal Family was worried about? Because, it’s fairly tame as far as sex scenes go and it’s kind of a Lifetime/romance movie staple scene…
- “Glass ceilings not glass slippers.” YESSS. Love it.
- Everything is so quintessential Lifetime movie, and it’s perfect and cozy and familiar and enjoyable.
- Her HAIR stylist could only come up with a frog costume? Like he couldn’t have done something with a mask or glasses and change his recognizable red hair??
- “Meghan” meeting “George” and “Charlotte” is the cutest!
- Who TF is this “Bella” person? Because, I don’t like her snobby attitude at all.
- Oh yes, the statement that confirmed their relationship… Did he write it himself? Did he really threaten to tweet it himself? And did Meghan truly have no clue he did it??
- Post media frenzy, where did he find her?? Is she, and her mom, in Toronto? Or in California? Where was the lower third for this scene?
- “Because I’m a grown-ass woman living in the modern world.” Preach, girl.
- Her mom “Doria” is the best.
- HAHA that beanie.
- What’s a romantic movie without a running-through-the-airport-to-get-their-love-back scene?? But so romantic and effective.
- Flip ahead to “Pippa Middleton’s” wedding. Except she’s wearing a version of her maid of honor dress from Will & Kate’s wedding??
- There’s no way Kate actually called it a “no ring, no bring” policy..
- The casting for Charles and Camilla isn’t that great…. LOL
- This romanticizes their whole relationship, and I’m squealing. I love it. Such a great romantic, guilty pleasure watch.
- Also, how was the racist brooch incident, “Meghan” meeting “Charles” and “Camilla” for the first time and discovering “Kate” was expecting little Louis all at the same time at “Pippa’s” wedding???
- “You should have been able to be together from the start.” THEN YOU AND “WILLIAM” WOULDN’T HAVE EXISTED, “HARRY.”
- Haha “just a royal thing,” how very vague, “Harry…”
- Wait, he proposed in Africa? No, where’s the roast chicken in their Kensington Palace cottage??? Granted, it’s still romantic, but no it’s factually inaccurate.
- Omg, “Meghan” signing the little girl’s autograph. So cute, adorable.
- “Always tell your mom, everything.” Perfect for the Mother’s Day premiere date! And a true statement.
- The corgis!!!! Awwwww so cute.
- Geez, finally, the roast chicken proposal! Speaking of, what’s her recipe? Always looking for a good dinner recipe. Because I’m very limited on my kitchen skills.
- “My grandson, HRH Prince Henry of Wales, will be marrying a divorced, African American lady. Everybody on board?” YES, LOVE THIS “Queen Elizabeth II,” YOU GO GIRL.
- LOLOL and watch “Harry” and “Meghan” seamlessly blend into footage of the the actual royal couple at one of their first joint appearances for the ending scene (just like in the William & Kate movie).
- So happy. So cute. Awww. Just as you are supposed to feel about a Lifetime and romance movie.
Now, that’ll keep us tied over until we can watch the Royal Wedding livestream and savor over the wedding pictures this weekend.