Breaking Down the Guys Competing for Roses on This Year’s “The Bachelorette”

By now, everyone knows how the end of “The Bachelor” went down: when Arie acted like a complete dirtbag and proposed to Minnesota-based publicist Becca K (albeit not very lovingly at all) and then promptly set up an on-camera break up and refused to leave while she cried, mere weeks later. It was brutal and we, as loyal members of #BachelorNation, flipped on the former racecar driver so fast for the horrible way he treated Becca and her emotions. *eye roll* Well, we moved on and thank goodness ABC decided to “do the damn thing,” aka making Becca the next franchise lead.

Stemming from the “Independent Woman” promo starring Becca holding roses (naturally, obvi), we were so ready to DO THE DAMN THING and watch Becca find a worthy guy. (I mean, I was already sold on four of the suitors she met at the After The Final Rose taping.)

And now, mere weeks away from the premiere of what’s being described as a “kick ass” season, ABC has released the headshots, bios, and the mostly ridiculous careers of Becca’s suitors. What follows next but my natural first impressions and judgements of these guys?? So, let’s do this.

First step, let’s relive my thoughts from ATFR, taken directly from my Twitter page, where she met five of the guys:

I like Lincoln: so sweet.

Ok. First Impression Rose. Done, Lincoln wins.

One look at Chase. Nope. Bad vibes.

Ok this banjo guy [Ryan] is so cute and sweet. My top pick.

Darius is apologizing on behalf of his gender. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Ok. And Blake. Top three with Ryan and Lincoln. Ok, Becca, yea, I think this journey is going to be good.

So already, I was primed to like Lincoln, Ryan and Blake as my top picks. Let’s what the rest of these bios reveal. One: Becca definitely has a type from first glances alone and there’s a lot of hair gel, a lot. Two, the bios, which is a few sentences instead of the usual questionnaire, WHAT. Okay, let’s get over my initial shock that producers actually changed something from the show’s format and dive right into my first impressions.

Age 31, nice normal age of a contestant usually here for the right reasons. Apparently he likes country music, playing with his dog, going to the beach with his boat, and skiing. That’s like the male equivalent of being #basic.

He “considers himself a modern romantic who believes that two people need to be independent in order to truly love each other, so he’s looking for his equal match.” Fair point, I like it. If he can swing dance, I’d like to say, we need proof. How cute would a swing dance date be with Blake and Becca? Not to mention reality TV gold for a show trying to evoke a romantic feeling. Ohhhh yea, he showed up on the horse, I liked him even then!

Nope. This is the smarmy guy we met on ATFR. Didn’t need to open his mouth, didn’t like him. Those feelings still apply for the Florida-based Advertising VP who is big into sports, the outdoors, and adventure. So Becca, please heed my warning (because I’m usually pretty good at spotting the players this show casts), and let him go already.

Seems nice and normal, perhaps a bit too into fitness. So, I’m guessing he’ll be shirtless often at the Mansion?

Does Becca like an athlete? Because a lot of her guys, Christian included, like to boast about their athletic pasts and accomplishments. So, his biggest fear is “spilling something on himself” in front of Becca. DUDE, that would be me 24/7. I’m just saying, if a guy can’t handle me at my clumsiest self, than he doesn’t deserve me at my classiest, most put together self. (Did I do that popular Twitter meme correctly??)

Question, how does he pronounce his name? I’ll be waiting for his limo entrance for an answer. He’s a former Harlem Globetrotter, so I’m guessing he’ll be on a basketball or sports date at some point during his tenure on the show? OMG, he hopes finding love with Becca will be a “lay-up.” I’m rolling my eyes at that super cheesy line.

I WAS RIGHT, sports professional (and football player)! BAM. Sorry, I just like to be right. True gentleman, ok that’s nice.

IS HE A COUNTRY SINGER? TELL ME HE’S A COUNTRY SINGER/SONGWRITER. He’s got that look down pat. Oh, former footballer, and I apologize because now he dedicates his time to charity work and helping kids with CF and spending time with his family and dog. I’m so sorry, Colton. Wow, congrats on that amazing charity work you do. Mazel tov.

Ooo, fitness coach: strike one. And fitness is his only thing mentioned in his two-sentence bio basically. So, bye.

Darius, who began his journey by apologizing to Becca on behalf of his gender and had the audience in stitches for it, seems like a stand-up guy. He likes to travel, dance and is energetic and fun-loving. The Milwaukee native (So, Midwestern values. Like Becca. And myself, just saying.) has perhaps one of the best lines written: “His most important mission is to live a life of service by giving back to others.” Bam, mic drop. Good guy.

Looks super young. And is another very basic Bachelorette contestant. I don’t think there’s anything else to say. But pretty and young. And hates avocado; so no brunch dates, I guess?

Apparently this fourth-generation electrician has a great sense of humor. I’m afraid I’ll need proof before you may continue on the show.

Sales rep and outdoors guy, that’s about it.

Well, neither he or Becca would have to move if they ended up together. And that’s not exactly a selling point: case in point, Andi Dorfman and Josh. Or Rachel Lindsey and Fred. And we all know how those instances turned out.

Lots of hair gel. A “successful banker with a heart of gold,” oh dear god, that’s cheesy. But he sings Disney songs, so he’s alright in my book because that’s my life and really all I listen to.

And welcome to the weird jobs club, Mr. COLOGNOISSEUR! Which just means he has a lot of cologne. Not his job, just a hobby for the Haitian-born Miami resident. Hey, Jean Blanc, are you going to gift Becca some cologne for your first meeting??

Aww I feel bad, he’s “successful in produce, but unsuccessful in love” and “ripe and ready to be picked” by Becca. Awwww, poor guy. Produce puns, ughhh. But that first part? I feel so bad for him. Aww, sympathy rose from me.

I have a strong feeling this Silicon Valley tech guy won’t make past night one. Just a feeling. But “world-famous” banana bread? I’m afraid, I’ll need some proof John, if you’re going to use that statement. And by that I mean, bake me banana bread to judge.

He looks very slick, anddd there we go, he’s a male model. Red flag alert. Also, he can run a mile in 4.24. For comparison, I would be huffing and puffing, exhausted by the start line while he concludes. So, that could never work out. Just saying.

May I ask what a “social media participant” means? Like a social media user? Yea, that’s like everyone. It’s free, you can say what you want, yea… Or is he prepping of his post-show career as an influencer? He also “dabbles” in male modeling who won’t get his hands dirty because he’s afraid of spiders. K, I’m laughing. Poor guy, doesn’t stand a chance.

That is 100 percent my brother’s hair and now I cannot unsee it. I’m sorry Leo, but I’ll be biased against you all season. I’m sorry, that’s my brother’s hair and I just can’t see past that. I’m sorry. Ok then, moving on, he’s a stuntman, yea that seems about right. That hair took ten years??? LOLOL, that took my brother like a few months. HAHA.

First, THAT ACCENT. As someone who’s lived in London for a bit, I love a British accent, so, sorry guys: Lincoln is already a step ahead. Aww cute, he “would love to have a big family to make his mom proud.” So cute. And he has such a nice smile.

Hard pass on the hair, first off. Second, he loves festivals, horse races, and state fairs. Wow. Ok, bye now.

Life of the party? Fun-loving attorney? And a “weekend warrior” enjoys “brunches, barbecues, and the beach?” And alliterations, duh. Yea, I’m saying, PASS.

Rickey with the cute lil bow tie is what else for a Bachelorette contestant? Personal trainer. Course.

IT’S RYAN. Banjo guy!! *swoon* Aka Wells 2.0. And I’m okay with that. The 26-year-old “banjoist” (apparently that’s a thing) is very close with his family (who all plays in a bluegrass band with him, awww cute), plays the ukulele, guitar, and trombone, and is passionate about sailing, and wait for it: “can’t wait to make the Bachelorette his first mate.” Done, Ryan wins. Number one pick, hands down. I choose Ryan, everyone else can go home now.

And another model. Greaaaaaaat. Cool. Yup. Say no more, I’m out.

The California native seems nice and normal, and also really loves Harry Potter. Hope Becca (and her Sister Act fandom can mesh with Wills and his love of HP).

May 28, break out your Bach Brackets and get your Fantasy Leagues ready to do the damn thing. And by that, I mean watch yet another dramatic journey where hopefully the lead falls in love and has about a 40% percent of staying together.

Until next time,

44 Thoughts I Had Watching Lifetime’s “Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance”

One thing about myself: I’m– err, is “obsessed” an okay word to use here– okay, fine, obsessed with cheesy Lifetime romance movies, and specifically royalty themed ones at that. I devour them all, with pleasure. Sometimes you just need to kick back and watch a feel-good, happily-ever-after film to calm down and relax, right? Especially in today’s stressful times. So, at the mere announcement that Lifetime would make another made-for-television movie chronicling the courtship and eventually engagement of the Royal Family, needless to say, I was excited. I mean, I loved their Will & Kate love story movie that aired back in time for their 2011 Royal Wedding starring Grey’s Anatomy surgical resident Camilla Luddington as the future Duchess.)

So, in preparation for the Royal Wedding later this week, of course I had to watch Lifetime’s “Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance” in all it’s cheesy goodness. Starring Parisa Fitz-Henley as the former Suits actress (I mean, doppleganger alert!!) and Murray Fraser (although the Scottish actor is not a natural ginger) as the famed prince, it’s definitely all I imagined a royalty-themed Lifetime romance movie to be, with some, err, questionable moments of “um, did that actually happen?” cushioned around cheesy romance movie goodness, and the ultimate scene stealers of Prince George and Princess Charlotte’s adorable onscreen counterparts.

Lifetime

Now, sit back, relax and watch how Harry met Meghan (come on, you knew that pun was coming!) and read on for a random collection of my thoughts and musings from watching your next royal-themed guilty pleasure.

Okay, here we go:

  1. We start with a young “Prince Harry”, post-Diana’s funeral on a safari with his “Pa” and big brother. Um, did that Harry running away, next to a growling lion actually happen? Because, terrifying.
  2. “Diana” and little “Harry” sneaking donuts in the palace, aww.
  3. A young “Meghan Markle” starts her feminist agenda early on, and YOU GO, Young Meghan!
  4. Jump ahead, Markle is Rachel Zane shooting Suits and giving her two-cents on how to make Rachel more empowering; Go, Meghan, Go!
  5. Flip to London (still in 2016), where “Harry” is out partying and clubbing. Err, wasn’t that years before they met and not mere months?? Um, continuity.
  6. Was the only casting requirement for Prince William that his hairline must be receding? Because that’s like the only similarity between the actor and the Duke of Cambridge.
  7. Haha “Charles,” “After the Nazi costume and showing off the family jewels in Las Vegas…” HA HA HA.
  8. What’s with this whole painting Will and Kate’s marriage as stiff?? Like, no, they are happy IRL… Come on, Lifetime. Who’s buying that?
  9. Back to “Meghan” in Suits land, the couple’s mutual friend “Violet” sets the two up. “Is he nice,” Accurate. “Is she hot,” Come on, like Harry actually asked that? In 2016, he wasn’t into the partying/wild side anymore. Eye roll.
  10. Look at “Harry” being 40 minutes late, and “Meghan” isn’t having any of it. Bam.
  11. Is it me or is Murray Fraser a bit more attractive than the actual Prince Harry? Er, sorry not sorry…
  12. This first date is quintessential Lifetime/romance movie. And I love it. Definitely scripted truly to be the “best blind date ever.”
  13. Haha, “Meghan” just oh so casually reading The Crown, as “Harry” (who introduces himself on the phone as Harry… Mountbatten-Windsor when she feigns remembering him lolol) pauses a scene of Suits… Haha well done, writers, well done.
  14. DUDE, THEIR SECOND DATE IS A TRIP TO BOTSWANA TOGETHER. Um, where do I get my own Prince Harry???
  15. BABY “GEORGE” AND “CHARLOTTE.” Best (and cutest) characters!! I mean, so adorable.
  16. That lion metaphor, aww perfectly timed with the film’s Mother’s Day premiere. I see what you did there, writers.
  17. HA HA “Harry” comparing “Meghan’s” story of being biracial to being “a ginger in England” with some truly terrible bad jokes… And are we to believe that Meghan has never heard of the term “ginger??”
  18. Is this super-light, PG-13-type sex scene the one that the Royal Family was worried about? Because, it’s fairly tame as far as sex scenes go and it’s kind of a Lifetime/romance movie staple scene…
  19. “Glass ceilings not glass slippers.” YESSS. Love it.
  20. Everything is so quintessential Lifetime movie, and it’s perfect and cozy and familiar and enjoyable.
  21. Her HAIR stylist could only come up with a frog costume? Like he couldn’t have done something with a mask or glasses and change his recognizable red hair??
  22. “Meghan” meeting “George” and “Charlotte” is the cutest!
  23. Who TF is this “Bella” person? Because, I don’t like her snobby attitude at all.
  24. Oh yes, the statement that confirmed their relationship… Did he write it himself? Did he really threaten to tweet it himself? And did Meghan truly have no clue he did it??
  25. Post media frenzy, where did he find her?? Is she, and her mom, in Toronto? Or in California? Where was the lower third for this scene?
  26. “Because I’m a grown-ass woman living in the modern world.” Preach, girl.
  27. Her mom “Doria” is the best.
  28. HAHA that beanie.
  29. What’s a romantic movie without a running-through-the-airport-to-get-their-love-back scene?? But so romantic and effective.
  30. Flip ahead to “Pippa Middleton’s” wedding. Except she’s wearing a version of her maid of honor dress from Will & Kate’s wedding??
  31. There’s no way Kate actually called it a “no ring, no bring” policy..
  32. The casting for Charles and Camilla isn’t that great…. LOL
  33. This romanticizes their whole relationship, and I’m squealing. I love it. Such a great romantic, guilt pleasure watch.
  34. Also, how was the racist brooch incident, “Meghan” meeting “Charles” and “Camilla” for the first time and discovering “Kate” was expecting little Louis all at the same time at “Pippa’s” wedding???
  35. “You should have been able to be together from the start.” THEN YOU AND “WILLIAM” WOULDN’T HAVE EXISTED, “HARRY.”
  36. Haha “just a royal thing,” how very vague, “Harry…”
  37. Wait, he proposed in Africa? No, where’s the roast chicken in their Kensington Palace cottage??? Granted, it’s still romantic, but no it’s factually inaccurate.
  38. Omg, “Meghan” signing the little girl’s autograph. So cute, adorable.
  39. “Always tell your mom, everything.” Perfect for the Mother’s Day premiere date! And a true statement.
  40. The corgis!!!! Awwwww so cute.
  41. Geez, finally, the roast chicken proposal! Speaking of, what’s her recipe? Always looking for a good dinner recipe. Because I’m very limited on my kitchen skills.
  42. “My grandson, HRH Prince Henry of Wales, will be marrying a divorced, African American lady. Everybody on board?” YES, LOVE THIS “Queen Elizabeth II,” YOU GO GIRL.
  43. LOLOL and watch “Harry” and “Meghan” seamlessly blend into footage of the the actual royal couple at one of their first joint appearances for the ending scene (just like in the William & Kate movie).
  44. So happy. So cute. Awww. Just as you are supposed to feel about a Lifetime and romance movie.

Now, that’ll keep us tied over until we can watch the Royal Wedding livestream and savor over the wedding pictures this weekend.

28 of the Best Home Decor Moments from “Big Little Lies”

Ok, I know I’m late to the party– well not late late per se, because I’ve wanted to watch “Big Little Lies” since it first aired, but since I just recently got access to someone’s HBO account (thanks a million, btw!), I FINALLY was able to watch the acclaimed miniseries.

While the series was gripping (OMG that ending!), I kept obsessing over the interior looks in virtually every scene, because hello, that’s me. Case in point:

Celeste and Perry’s outdoor living space

From the dining table and chairs, the place settings, and the living area chairs and pillows, I’m obsessed.

Celeste and Perry’s indoor dining area

OMG, this table, chairs and chandelier!

Madeline and Ed’s dreamy kitchen and island

My literal favorite interior space in the whole series: THAT ISLAND. The subway tile. The pendant lamps. The cabinets. Farmhouse sink. I want it all. MY DREAM KITCHEN.

Madeline and Ed have an amazing exterior

That outdoor living space (both levels). I want.

Renata’s ultra-modern home

Super sleek and modern, plus with a gorgeous view of the sunset from the glass-walled house.

Madeline and Ed’s armchairs and outdoor space

Plus, that dreamy view onto the beach.

Chairs in Celeste and Perry’s bedroom

Perfectly cozy for a bedroom suite.

Celeste and Perry’s walk-in closet *drools profoundly*

MY FAVORITE ROOM: Celeste’s closet. *heart eyes*

A second view of the McKenzie kitchen just because.

And those stools!

Literally the McKenzies live on the beach.

House location on point.

Celeste and Perry’s living and dining area oozes taste.

From the dining set, chandelier, carpeting, and chairs. Wow, it is both family-friendly and stylish.

Madeline and Ed’s bedroom

Start with the white marble fireplace, and the chair, and the bed, and the lamps… And basically I want her whole house.

Celeste and Perry’s entryway

Love the hall table with the mirror to greet guests into their well-decorated home.

Madeline and Ed’s foyer slash living area

Well, basically her whole house is gorgeous. And from the foyer, we get a glimpse of the gorgeous stair railing, entry table, and living room seating. Love.

Madeline and Ed’s living area

Special shoutout to the cabinet design, wine storage, and Abby’s notebooks (because I love cute stationary).

The McKenzies’ sectional and living area

It may be a dark scene, but I love their sectional sofa, chairs, and throw pillows. So chic yet cozy!

Renata’s living room space

It may be an ultra-modern house, but the stylish coffee table and sectional sofa works perfectly for six-year-old Amabella to play around. Also, that fancy staircase!

Madeline and Ed’s outdoor living space

Gah, I would die for outdoor living space. Especially if it came with a beachfront view.

Celeste’s therapist’s office

Starting with the french doors… It’s quaint but homey.

Ed McKenzie’s office space

His standing desk! The etched mirror! The printed throw pillows! The entertainment center! I’d want to work from home if I lived there too.

Seating area outside Celeste and Perry’s closet

A cute way to use blank extra space in the bedroom corner with an L-shaped bench.

Bonnie and Nathan’s cozy sectional

It’s super bohemian (hello, it is Bonnie’s style), but I love the sectional and throw pillows, and the glass lamp. Down-to-earth but comfortable at the same time.

Celeste and Perry’s dining room set

Love the dining chairs, chandelier, and blue striped carpet in particular.

Madeline and Ed’s bedroom set

First, that headboard. The pattered wallpaper. Seriously, Madeline has all the taste.

Madeline’s vanity

I’M OBSESSED. From the chair, to the desk, to the mirrors, I’m utterly obsessed. I want.

Celeste and Perry’s living area

Love the sectional and throw pillows! And the pop of blue on the accent wall!

Bonnie and Nathan’s wall art

Behind Nathan’s head in the kitchen, I love the unique wall art hanging on the wall underneath the sideboard.

The hammock-type thing in Bonnie and Nathan’s backyard

Abigail sits on this hanging thing in the Carlson’s backyard, and I love it. I want one.

Congrats to the cast and crew on its well-deserved award show nominations and your season two pick up. Of course I’ll be watching, and making even more mental notes of set decoration inspiration for my home as well.

Judging This Year’s “Bachelor” Contestants, Part III

Guess what’s back, back again?? That’s right: my (now annual) Bachelor cast commentaries, because it’s my favorite part of the whole series. Have at my sarcasm and snark in all its glory…

First things first, ABC is promoting the hit reality show’s return as “Janu-Arie.” *cue the groans* I mean, are we really surprised? No. Who remembers how Ben H was a “perfect Ben” like a “perfect 10?” *eye roll here*

The Bachelor:

Arie Luyendyk Jr, some six years after his first appearance on the franchise (Emily Maynard’s season of the Bachelorette, 2012), returns to find love after having his heart broken on national television.

When ABC first announced their casting choice, while many had no clue who this older guy was (likely because they didn’t watch early seasons or that he’s not social media active, typically a staple of contestants these days). But, I did. I remember LOVING Emily’s season (and making my mom send me weekly recaps while I was at camp. True story.), and Arie’s buddy slash former Bachelor Sean Lowe.

Back in the day, I didn’t know how to feel about the “kissing bandit” Arie. I did like him and he seemed genuine, however, I was unsure if Emily could look past his occupation as a racer driver given her late fiance’s profession. Evidently, she did, until she couldn’t and chose Jef (with one F) instead, which we all know didn’t last long.

I do applaud ABC’s choice of Arie: getting back to the show’s roots that made it successful,getting away from these new faux-celebrities that the contenders all strive to be after the show ends (ugh.), and not choosing a Bachelor that wouldn’t give them the happy ending they crave for the show (cough cough, Peter.) Ok, rant over.

The Women:

The 27-year-old Oklahoma-based personal stylist seems normal, down-to-earth and sweet.

Ok first, the name “Amber” is like a red flag name for the mean popular blonde cheerleader girl everyone hated in high school (or high school centric movies).

Aside from that, the 29-year-old business owner (which idk if it’s real or “real” like Corinne who worked for Daddy’s business) seems basic. But her answer to “which fictional character would you be:” she said, “Ariel because she’s a beautiful mermaid that can sing and gets to marry Prince Eric, what a stud.” So, so she cares about looks and a handsome guy? Ughhhh. To compare, Ali (from above) said she’d be the empowering Wonder Woman. Ok, so I’m over Amber.

She’s 32! We got an age-appropriate one for Arie! That’s like a Bachelor unicorn! Anyway, the event planner seems normal.

The 25-year-old real estate agent also gives normal answers. Case in point: Her least favorite household chore: “LAUNDRY! Takes me a whole week from washing to folding and putting it all away.” I mean, relatable. *she types, staring at the laundry basket full of clean clothes sitting at the foot of her bed for at least a week.*

Becca K has some big eyes. Wowza. Ok moving on, the 27-year-old publicist really likes Sister Act 2. Not the first one, the sequel. As in she mentioned it twice. How the heck does Sister Act 2 come up twice naturally in conversation??? Legit curious.

Bekah M- NO AGE LISTED ON HER BIO- is a nanny. Ok, circling back: why didn’t she list her age? Like what? How did no one ask her? Or why didn’t she volunteer it when you volunteered to go on a nationally televised dating show? Apparently it’s a storyline for the show? Well, she did say she likes to be the center of attention. Well, huh. She does look SUPER young. Like if you are that young, are you really ready to marry a 36-year-old man?

First off, what type of name is Bibiana? One she says she enjoys popping her pimples. *throwing up in my mouth a little* And she gave this answer to the following question, Would you consider yourself a lover of art? “Yes, Wish I could be art.” WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN? You wish you could be art? That’s an answer to if you like art? Bibiana, can you please explain? I’m so confused. So, banking her as the crazy girl this season.

Bri looks like a model or pageant girl or something; think Courtney R the model-villain from Ben F’s season. Yuck. Ohhh, she’s a sports reporter AND won an Emmy. Ok, you shut me up. Keep doing your thing.

Meh, normal.

Brittany #2: normal. Also her answer to where she meets guys: “I don’t… jk. The past two I’ve met have been through dating apps and they’re terrible human beings.” Yea, that’s about right, lol.

She looks like a normal human! (I’m sorry, but The Bachelor has a low bar for people that are real humans with jobs, paychecks, health insurance, and real thoughts).

Why does she need to specify she’s a “real estate” executive assistant? Hint: the title is enough, we don’t really need the industry too.

COOL JOB ALERT: “I work for a psychiatry research lab. It’s important experience before getting a Ph.D. in chemical psychology. My career is very important to me.” Good for you, girl, good for you. *applause* And please for the love of all that is good in this world, please don’t quit your job post-show to hawk fit teas and hair vitamins on Instagram, please.

Beauty pageant girl? Wait, she looks like Emily Maynard!!! Ohhhh, how will Arie react to that? Hmmmm. Stay tuned.

Ok, how come legit every girl’s favorite movie is “Crazy Stupid Love????” I mean, I love a rom-com as much as the next girl, but come on, even I have to admit that one is far from an Oscar winner or a film classic.

Oh great, a bloody TV host. Like she’s really honestly here for the right reasons??

She’s the weird girl, remember that. Her best gift she’s received? ” My ex gave me an alligator hand holding an iron heart in a jar! I collect taxidermy so it was sweet to me.” What?!?! Um Arie, back away slowly…

She’s a fitness coach named Krystal? I’m gonna guess she’ll start some fights and cause some drama?

Oh no, what did we do to deserve another blonde Lauren B??? Noo, wasn’t it enough that Ben H picked the first blonde, boring Lauren B on his season? Now, we have to go through this all over again??

Normal, seems nice.

“Recent Masters Graduate,” soooo unemployed? I mean kudos on your degree, but let’s just call it what it is, shall we?

I repeat, there are FOUR Laurens! New record! There’s no way Arie can remember to keep these four straight; good luck Arie. This Lauren is super basic. Wow. Also in response to: How much do you enjoy the theater? She said, “Love it. If I got to see Hamilton, I’d die.” Because “Hamilton” is the only piece of theater out there. (Hey Lauren, need tips? Just check out this blog or my Instagram page and I’ll teach you all about theater.)

How is this pronounced? Is it like Raquel with an M or what? Also, she’s 23. How in the world are you ready to settle down and get married at 23. Like I’m around that age and that is utterly mind boggling, because there’s no way I’m ready to get married at this point in my life? Like really? Ok, rant over.

Meh, average.

30. Orthopedic nurse. Seems strong. Like this contestant.

Another 23-year-old! Is she really ready for marriage? Like seriously? Legit curious. Oh dear god, her favorite book. You guessed it folks, “50 Shades of Grey.” Dear god. This is for national TV, you couldn’t just say a classic or anything that resembles actual literature?

Seems normal, sweet-looking.

The Arkansas native is poised to be this season’s Raven. And I’m ok with that, since Raven was hilarious and so sweet.

Meh, no strong feelings here.

Well, ok I made it through the cast list. PHEW, that’s done! I’m sorry if that was a lot snarkier than in the past, these were my gut first reactions to their photos and bios. And hopefully these women prove me wrong come Janu-Arie (I know, I know. And I’m sorry about that.) 1st when the show returns.

Some of the Best Moments in “Trading Spaces” History

Did everyone hear that “Trading Spaces” is coming back to TV? And so is original host Paige Davis? Andddddd all of the fan favorite designers and carpenters? Yes, all true.

Well here we go…. Surprise surprise. Click profile for more.

A post shared by Genevieve Gorder (@genevievegorder) on

One thing you may not know about me, I’ve watched “Trading Spaces” on TLC since I was little. My mom would watch every episode, and me being her little mini-me, I started to watch it with her (and every other HGTV show on air at that point too). And, I really liked it and the idea of interior design. So much so, that it was my childhood dream to appear on the show (lol like that would have happened) with my mom. (Does that make me an odd child? Don’t know, but it did set up for my career, so thanks, I guess?) But, in honor of the recent big news that most of the original designers/carpenters will return for this new season, I thought it was time to revisit a home decor classic.

This show was definitely one of the first big home renovation shows and what a classic. Let’s reminisce, shall we?

In the very beginning, when neighbors would dress up in brightly colored smocks and literally switch keys.

Getty

When each team met their the designer at their neighbor’s house and you instantly knew exactly the aesthetic would be before hearing their plans.

Allow me to elaborate with a handy chart:

  • Vern Yip: Super modern design.
  • Genevieve Gorder: ONE OF MY FAVES.
  • Doug Wilson: He always did what he wanted, regardless of the homeowner’s tastes.
  • Hildi Santo-Tomas: Something wild was going to go down, think corks, newspaper, hay, or rose petals as wallpaper.
  • Frank Bielic: [French] country, 100%.
  • Laurie Hickson-Smith: Family-friendly, homey vibes.
  • Edward Walker: Super dramatic.

Hearing the designer’s plan, and HANGING ONTO EVERY LAST WORD.

AP Images

The designer/ Paige checking in on Ty/Carter/Amy on carpentry in their little white tent set up outside.

TLC

The designers leaving for the night and giving the contestants “homework” aka paint every surface or stuff pillows.

TLC

Paige magically appears to help with a special project, but really paints a shelf for five minutes and then disappears from camera…. And has no clue what she’s doing.

Paige’s final sitdown with the designers, where they usually just end up laughing, and discuss the final result.

Obviously, the reveal! Where the neighbors are absolutely floored (good or bad) when Paige un-blindfolds them and they get to see their new room.

When the cast of “7th Heaven” appeared on an episode, and it was glorious because who didn’t ship Lucy and Kevin???? (Basically it was the perfect combination of two of my favorite childhood shows.)

Then, when they made a kids edition, and legit my childhood dreams came true.

Like, when wasn’t “Trading Spaces” iconic? And design inspiration-worthy? Can’t wait for the debut of the new season, let’s queue up my DVR…

18 Celebrity Instagrams That Prove Their Homes Are Where The (Chic) Heart Is

We all know celebs have the best style – from hair, makeup, and styling – our favorite stars are often the perfect Pinterest inspiration for upgrading our own looks. But, it’s not just their own looks that always seem so Pinterest-worthy. Have you ever scrolled through your fave’s Instagram feed and noticed the uber-chic home furnishings almost that steal the spotlight in the background of their selfies and daily snapshots? Because I have, and can I just say, OBSESSED. So, here at Quite Simply Miranda, I decided to round up my favorite celebrity Instagrams that will totally inspire you to update your own interiors.

Olivia Wilde

Wilde’s New York adobe is the epitome of hipster chic, and we’re obsessed every time the actress gives us even a glance at her chic furnishings in a post.

First born. Hero. Old man. Paco. ❤️

A post shared by Olivia Wilde (@oliviawilde) on

Absolutely love the deep blue velvet-looking sofa (unfortunately not dog-shedding proof!) with bright pops of colors from throw pillows and a throw blanket. Wilde sure can accessorize a room!

Reese Witherspoon

It’s basically common knowledge that Witherspoon is the queen of southern charm and bright colors (hello, Draper James!), and her Insta feed and her home obviously reflects that.

Absolutely obsessed with the mom of three’s ultra-classic yet simplistic kitchen, featuring white cabinets, gold knobs, gray cabinets (love the mix of colors!), and subway tiles! Perfect for baking with her brood!

And of course, Witherspoon can entertain, in the perfect spot to do so. Her backyard is decked out with cozy wicker chairs and plaid throw pillows to create a perfect outdoor living space.

Victoria Beckham

Former Spice Girl “Posh” and fashion designer Victoria Beckham certainly knows what’s chic. It’s no surprise her home follows suit.

Featuring an ultra-glam staircase and flooring.

Mummy and me 💕Thank u @nlvogue x VB

A post shared by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on

And a super-glamorous chandelier that only Posh Spice would have…

#RedNoseDay #RedBows X kisses from Harper x VB

A post shared by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on

And this picture-perfect entryway. I mean, from the tiles, to the doorway, to the cast-iron window panes, I don’t know which part I prefer: they fit together so seamlessly and I am positively obsessed.

Jessie James Decker

The country singer and her football player hubby’s life as family of four is captured on an E! reality show, because GOALS. Another reason that makes them absolute #goals? Decker’s style. Case in point:

A rustic-looking table for the country crooner.

This boy has stolen my heart

A post shared by Jessie James Decker (@jessiejamesdecker) on

Marble in the bathroom? Definitely glam.

The master bedroom also features a substantial amount of glam between the headboard, pillows, and chandelier bedside lamp.

Rachel Bilson

The former “O.C.” and “Hart of Dixie” actress is no stranger to playing fashionista characters, so it’s only naturally that the stylish star has some killer home tastes as well.

My little twinkle toes ❤

A post shared by @ rachelbilson on

A little print never hurt…

Bilson certainly keeps a cozy kitchen!

The rest of her home is definitely minimalistic (excuse the kid’s toys) but still cozy.

Kristen Bell

The actress’ Instagram is full of genius mom hacks, but if you take a closer look, you’ll also find she has amazing taste.

A tiny hand just came up and handed me this. What a perfect Saturday. #kids #momlife

A post shared by kristen bell (@kristenanniebell) on

Definitely a chic outdoor living space with lots of fun colors and prints.

She definitely has created a cozy living space (minus her husband Dax’s Laz-E-Boy).

Lauren Conrad

The former star of “The Hills” has certainly made a name for herself in the fashion and crafty sphere, and of course her home would look amazing, of course it would.

I gave @mydomaine a tour of our LA home. Check it out on mydomaine.com 🏡

A post shared by Lauren Conrad (@laurenconrad) on

Minimal and beachy, so on-brand, and absolutely stunning. Pinterest goals, anyone??

Camilla Luddington

While on “Grey’s Anatomy,” the Brit trades in her accent for an American one to go with her light blue scrubs, her home life (and Jo’s too!) is super chic.

Behind the emotional and super sweet scene between Jolex on the show, I’m absolutely in love with Jo’s apartment decor. So chic, I love it! Can I live there IRL???

This “Grey’s Anatomy” star certainly made a haven for her newborn daughter Hayden. I have one word: ADORABLE.

The OG bubs #gusgus #rescue #scruff

A post shared by Camilla Luddington (@camillaluddington) on

Talk about a cozy house in real life too!

Joanna Gaines

How could you forget about the queen of HGTV, Ms. “Fixer Upper” herself??

❤️

A post shared by Joanna Stevens Gaines (@joannagaines) on

I absolutely love every piece Gaines has incorporated into her home. She makes farmhouse and rustic decor look so effortless and chic. I love it!

It's spa day for these beauties #haircuts #plantladyforever 🌿🌱

A post shared by Joanna Stevens Gaines (@joannagaines) on

Seriously, her taste is amazing and I’m obsessed.

Oprah Winfrey

Of course mega-mogal Oprah can do anything. Including setting a perfect tablescape.

My favorite part..

A post shared by Oprah (@oprah) on

Holiday goals courtesy of Oprah, natch…

Kristin Cavallari

The mom-of-three certainly keeps a chic home.

The former reality star and NFL wife clearly has exceptional taste. I especially love her living room rug and rustic-inspired white coffee table. Stylish and perfect for the whole family!

I guess Saylor wanted some ice cream

A post shared by Kristin Cavallari (@kristincavallari) on

I love her adorable kitchen rug.

Jessica Biel

Not only are Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake uber-successful in their own careers, but they are also Hollywood royalty. And on top of that, their home is super chic. Could they be anymore perfect??

The Timberlakes certainly know outdoor living.

And check out the unique tilework in the bathroom!

Carrie Underwood

I’ve always loved Underwood’s fashion style, and guess what? Her home is equally stylish.

The songstress sure can make a comfy place, for babies and puppies!

Behind the goofy family’s shenanigans, her kitchen is super family friendly and chic. Love!

Ellen Pompeo

Famous for playing a surgeon on TV (and the reason I sorta understand medical jargon now in real life), but in real life, she plays mom to her three kids and does so in her Architectural Digest- photographed home.

Behind the adorable mother-son dance, we get a glimpse at how the real life Meredith Grey decorated her family-friendly home.

And like her pups, I love her blanket choices!

Kate Hudson

Hudson has killer style, so it’s obvious her home would too.

Happy pants 💃🌿🌸 @fabletics

A post shared by Kate Hudson (@katehudson) on

Let’s just say, CLOSET GOALS. (and life goals, really.)

Tia Mowry

The once child star is clearly all grown up, living in her stylish L.A. abode (as we got a glance on her former reality show with her twin sis Tamera years back).

Table is set! @gameofthrones #winterishere

A post shared by tiamowry (@tiamowry) on

The “Sister Sister” alum knows how to throw a party.

It's all about the Pom Pom. ⚫️🌑

A post shared by tiamowry (@tiamowry) on

Her bedroom may be minimalistic, but it’s still so chic. Love.

Kourtney Kardashian

Perhaps the K sister known the best for her home decor (she wasn’t on the cover of Architectural Digest for nothing…)

Last nights slumber party.

A post shared by Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) on

Talk about about a sweet bedroom setup! Kall me obsessed.

Excuse the ad, but I absolutely love her living room decor. Ah-mazing.

Sarah Michelle Gellar

The former “Buffy” star has transitioned into a family-friendly mom of two, and her home reflects that while remaining true to her stylish tastes.

Love all the fun prints and colors in the Geller-Prize household. Gorge.

Way in the back, peep the super cute cabinets and lighting behind the selfie. Pinning now…

And… her office is just as cute. OMG I want a space like that.

Talk about some serious home decor GOALS?! Anyone else feeling an apartment makeover, pronto?

10 “Bachelor” Nation Happily-Ever-Afters That Will Remind You That True Love Does Exist

Who says you can’t find love on camera?

In honor of “The Bachelorette” finale tonight, where #BachelorNation will finally learn the mystery identity of Rachel Lindsey’s fiance, I thought I’d run down the *cutest* moments where “The Bachelor,” “Bachelorette,” and “Bachelor in Paradise” stars actually found love (and said yes) on a reality show (seems crazy, no?).

Trista and Ryan Sutter

The OG Bachelorette and her chosen suitor are still going strong, most recently have celebrated over ten years of marriage and two children together, Max and Blakesley. Talk about Bachelor legends!

My family. My everything. ❤️ #justbecause #fbf

A post shared by Trista Sutter (@tristasutter) on

Jason and Molly Mesnick

While Molly wasn’t the recipient of the Final Rose, she did get a fantasy proposal on ATFR and they’ve lived as a happy family in Seattle with his son from a previous marriage and their daughter together Riley.

💙🏝🛥 #Cabo

A post shared by Molly Mesnick (@mollymesnick) on

A little #TeaParty to start the day😘🙃😉😄

A post shared by Jason Mesnick (@jasonmesnick) on

Ashley and J.P. Rosenbaum

Ashley was first seen on the train wreck that was Brad Womack’s second try as The Bachelor. But luckily for J.P., that didn’t work out for her and next season she was chosen as The Bachelorette where she finally got her happy ending with J.P. Completing their ABC journey with a televised wedding and a baby gender reveal on the Men Tell All, this family of four remains just as cute as when J.P. first greeted his now-wife outside the mansion, this time with little ones Ford and Essie.

Being a mother is the highlight of my every single day. ❤️ Ford & Essie ❤️

A post shared by Ashley Hebert Rosenbaum (@ashleylynnrosenbaum) on

Growing up so damn fast. #FacesofFord #memorialdayweekend

A post shared by J.P. Rosenbaum (@_jprosenbaum) on

Dancing is in her blooooooood! Look at those lines! #💅

A post shared by Ashley Hebert Rosenbaum (@ashleylynnrosenbaum) on

Sean and Catherine Lowe

Perhaps one of *the* best Bachelors in the history of the show, Sean and wife Catherine Giudici continue to be just as adorable as their ABC wedding special, as evidenced on their Instagram pages as a family of three, with cute baby Samuel.

Inseparable.

A post shared by Catherine (Giudici) Lowe (@catherinegiudici) on

If my heart was any fuller, it would burst.

A post shared by Catherine (Giudici) Lowe (@catherinegiudici) on

Mine.

A post shared by Sean Lowe (@seanloweksu) on

Desiree and Chris Siegfried

One of my personal favorite Bachelor couples would have to be Des and Chris. They just seemed so full of love during her season (once you look past all the Brooks drama) and it seems that hasn’t wavered a day, especially after welcoming their son Asher during the Bachelor Baby Boom a year back.

💙 I don't know what I would do without these two. 😍💙

A post shared by Desiree (Hartsock) Siegfried (@desireesiegfried) on

BabyBoss #YouTalkinToMe ?

A post shared by Chris Siegfried (@chrisrsiegfried) on

Kaitlyn Bristowe and Shawn Booth

I rooted for Shawn B from the get-go of the “two Bachelorettes” season! His connection with Kaitlyn just seemed so effortless. #RelationshipGoals While they have yet to tie the knot, the Nashville-based couple are still engaged(hey, the Neil Lane diamond is officially hers by now!), but my gosh, are they so adorable together.

Giving him pointers on how to get through a triathlon. #IronMan #IronDaddy

A post shared by Kaitlyn Bristowe (@kaitlynbristowe) on

I was hoping for Olive Garden but this place was pretty good too. #OG

A post shared by Kaitlyn Bristowe (@kaitlynbristowe) on

Jade and Tanner Tolbert

After a disastrous first season of “Paradise,” that didn’t boast any [real] marriages or relationships to come of the Mexican spinoff, Round 2 had much better luck. From episode one, it was evident there was something between Jade from Chris Soules’ season and Tanner from Kaitlyn’s season. Even without many official dates, these two coupled up pretty quickly, so it was only fitting that their season ended in an engagement. And now, this married couple continues to be just as adorable on social media as they prepare for their daughter’s birth soon.

 

JoJo Fletcher and Jordan Rodgers

During JoJo’s season, we saw her fall hard for the famous football player’s younger brother from night one. While they remain engaged, the couple is still cute and goofy together.

When we've given up on taking a good photo 🤷‍♀️ #howallourselfiesend

A post shared by JoJo Fletcher (@joelle_fletcher) on

Yellowfin tuna and a yellow brick wall #sushi #datenight

A post shared by Jordan Rodgers (@jrodgers11) on

Carly Waddell and Evan Bass

In “Paradise” last year, the singer from Chris Soules’ season unexpectedly found love with the “ED expert” Evan from JoJo’s season. Which, I know, WHAT. Carly went from literally throwing up after their hot pepper first kiss to “boarding the Evan train” once again after a brief trip to a Mexican hospital. We as audience members went from cringing at his failed attempts to woo the two-time Paradise contender. But somehow he did. And, so gosh darn cute together. And in a few weeks time, we’ll see their wedding play out on season four of “Paradise.”

Annnnddd… as of yesterday, Waddell and Bass just announced an exciting addition!

More next-gen Bachelor Nation playdates to come??

 

Rachel Lindsey + Fiance???

Obviously, we don’t know who the attorney accepted a proposal from (well, I have my hunches… And a Bachelor bracket I’d really like to get correct.), but in the meantime doing press, Rachel seems SO in love. Which is great for her, and I’m happy about. (I’ll be even happier if it means my Bachelor bracket is correct, just saying…)

3 More Days!!!! #afterthefinalrose #bachelornation #thebachelorette #whoisjerome

A post shared by Rachel Lindsay (@therachlindsay) on

I love seeing all these happy couples in love. It gives hope that, hey, maybe you can find love on a TV show??