Judging This Year’s “Bachelor” Contestants, Part III

Guess what’s back, back again?? That’s right: my (now annual) Bachelor cast commentaries, because it’s my favorite part of the whole series. Have at my sarcasm and snark in all its glory…

First things first, ABC is promoting the hit reality show’s return as “Janu-Arie.” *cue the groans* I mean, are we really surprised? No. Who remembers how Ben H was a “perfect Ben” like a “perfect 10?” *eye roll here*

The Bachelor:

Arie Luyendyk Jr, some six years after his first appearance on the franchise (Emily Maynard’s season of the Bachelorette, 2012), returns to find love after having his heart broken on national television.

When ABC first announced their casting choice, while many had no clue who this older guy was (likely because they didn’t watch early seasons or that he’s not social media active, typically a staple of contestants these days). But, I did. I remember LOVING Emily’s season (and making my mom send me weekly recaps while I was at camp. True story.), and Arie’s buddy slash former Bachelor Sean Lowe.

Back in the day, I didn’t know how to feel about the “kissing bandit” Arie. I did like him and he seemed genuine, however, I was unsure if Emily could look past his occupation as a racer driver given her late fiance’s profession. Evidently, she did, until she couldn’t and chose Jef (with one F) instead, which we all know didn’t last long.

I do applaud ABC’s choice of Arie: getting back to the show’s roots that made it successful,getting away from these new faux-celebrities that the contenders all strive to be after the show ends (ugh.), and not choosing a Bachelor that wouldn’t give them the happy ending they crave for the show (cough cough, Peter.) Ok, rant over.

The Women:

The 27-year-old Oklahoma-based personal stylist seems normal, down-to-earth and sweet.

Ok first, the name “Amber” is like a red flag name for the mean popular blonde cheerleader girl everyone hated in high school (or high school centric movies).

Aside from that, the 29-year-old business owner (which idk if it’s real or “real” like Corinne who worked for Daddy’s business) seems basic. But her answer to “which fictional character would you be:” she said, “Ariel because she’s a beautiful mermaid that can sing and gets to marry Prince Eric, what a stud.” So, so she cares about looks and a handsome guy? Ughhhh. To compare, Ali (from above) said she’d be the empowering Wonder Woman. Ok, so I’m over Amber.

She’s 32! We got an age-appropriate one for Arie! That’s like a Bachelor unicorn! Anyway, the event planner seems normal.

The 25-year-old real estate agent also gives normal answers. Case in point: Her least favorite household chore: “LAUNDRY! Takes me a whole week from washing to folding and putting it all away.” I mean, relatable. *she types, staring at the laundry basket full of clean clothes sitting at the foot of her bed for at least a week.*

Becca K has some big eyes. Wowza. Ok moving on, the 27-year-old publicist really likes Sister Act 2. Not the first one, the sequel. As in she mentioned it twice. How the heck does Sister Act 2 come up twice naturally in conversation??? Legit curious.

Bekah M- NO AGE LISTED ON HER BIO- is a nanny. Ok, circling back: why didn’t she list her age? Like what? How did no one ask her? Or why didn’t she volunteer it when you volunteered to go on a nationally televised dating show? Apparently it’s a storyline for the show? Well, she did say she likes to be the center of attention. Well, huh. She does look SUPER young. Like if you are that young, are you really ready to marry a 36-year-old man?

First off, what type of name is Bibiana? One she says she enjoys popping her pimples. *throwing up in my mouth a little* And she gave this answer to the following question, Would you consider yourself a lover of art? “Yes, Wish I could be art.” WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN? You wish you could be art? That’s an answer to if you like art? Bibiana, can you please explain? I’m so confused. So, banking her as the crazy girl this season.

Bri looks like a model or pageant girl or something; think Courtney R the model-villain from Ben F’s season. Yuck. Ohhh, she’s a sports reporter AND won an Emmy. Ok, you shut me up. Keep doing your thing.

Meh, normal.

Brittany #2: normal. Also her answer to where she meets guys: “I don’t… jk. The past two I’ve met have been through dating apps and they’re terrible human beings.” Yea, that’s about right, lol.

She looks like a normal human! (I’m sorry, but The Bachelor has a low bar for people that are real humans with jobs, paychecks, health insurance, and real thoughts).

Why does she need to specify she’s a “real estate” executive assistant? Hint: the title is enough, we don’t really need the industry too.

COOL JOB ALERT: “I work for a psychiatry research lab. It’s important experience before getting a Ph.D. in chemical psychology. My career is very important to me.” Good for you, girl, good for you. *applause* And please for the love of all that is good in this world, please don’t quit your job post-show to hawk fit teas and hair vitamins on Instagram, please.

Beauty pageant girl? Wait, she looks like Emily Maynard!!! Ohhhh, how will Arie react to that? Hmmmm. Stay tuned.

Ok, how come legit every girl’s favorite movie is “Crazy Stupid Love????” I mean, I love a rom-com as much as the next girl, but come on, even I have to admit that one is far from an Oscar winner or a film classic.

Oh great, a bloody TV host. Like she’s really honestly here for the right reasons??

She’s the weird girl, remember that. Her best gift she’s received? ” My ex gave me an alligator hand holding an iron heart in a jar! I collect taxidermy so it was sweet to me.” What?!?! Um Arie, back away slowly…

She’s a fitness coach named Krystal? I’m gonna guess she’ll start some fights and cause some drama?

Oh no, what did we do to deserve another blonde Lauren B??? Noo, wasn’t it enough that Ben H picked the first blonde, boring Lauren B on his season? Now, we have to go through this all over again??

Normal, seems nice.

“Recent Masters Graduate,” soooo unemployed? I mean kudos on your degree, but let’s just call it what it is, shall we?

I repeat, there are FOUR Laurens! New record! There’s no way Arie can remember to keep these four straight; good luck Arie. This Lauren is super basic. Wow. Also in response to: How much do you enjoy the theater? She said, “Love it. If I got to see Hamilton, I’d die.” Because “Hamilton” is the only piece of theater out there. (Hey Lauren, need tips? Just check out this blog or my Instagram page and I’ll teach you all about theater.)

How is this pronounced? Is it like Raquel with an M or what? Also, she’s 23. How in the world are you ready to settle down and get married at 23. Like I’m around that age and that is utterly mind boggling, because there’s no way I’m ready to get married at this point in my life? Like really? Ok, rant over.

Meh, average.

30. Orthopedic nurse. Seems strong. Like this contestant.

Another 23-year-old! Is she really ready for marriage? Like seriously? Legit curious. Oh dear god, her favorite book. You guessed it folks, “50 Shades of Grey.” Dear god. This is for national TV, you couldn’t just say a classic or anything that resembles actual literature?

Seems normal, sweet-looking.

The Arkansas native is poised to be this season’s Raven. And I’m ok with that, since Raven was hilarious and so sweet.

Meh, no strong feelings here.

Well, ok I made it through the cast list. PHEW, that’s done! I’m sorry if that was a lot snarkier than in the past, these were my gut first reactions to their photos and bios. And hopefully these women prove me wrong come Janu-Arie (I know, I know. And I’m sorry about that.) 1st when the show returns.

Some of the Best Moments in “Trading Spaces” History

Did everyone hear that “Trading Spaces” is coming back to TV? And so is original host Paige Davis? Andddddd all of the fan favorite designers and carpenters? Yes, all true.

One thing you may not know about me, I’ve watched “Trading Spaces” on TLC since I was little. My mom would watch every episode, and me being her little mini-me, I started to watch it with her (and every other HGTV show on air at that point too). And, I really liked it and the idea of interior design. So much so, that it was my childhood dream to appear on the show (lol like that would have happened) with my mom. (Does that make me an odd child? Don’t know, but it did set up for my career, so thanks, I guess?) But, in honor of the recent big news that most of the original designers/carpenters will return for this new season, I thought it was time to revisit a home decor classic.

This show was definitely one of the first big home renovation shows and what a classic. Let’s reminisce, shall we?

In the very beginning, when neighbors would dress up in brightly colored smocks and literally switch keys.

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When each team met their the designer at their neighbor’s house and you instantly knew exactly the aesthetic would be before hearing their plans.

Allow me to elaborate with a handy chart:

  • Vern Yip: Super modern design, sleek.
  • Genevieve Gorder: ONE OF MY FAVES. Trendy, bohemian, unique but super stylish. Always obsessed.
  • Doug Wilson: He always did what he wanted, regardless of the homeowner’s tastes. Sometimes veryyyy unique.
  • Hildi Santo-Tomas: Something wild was going to go down, think corks, newspaper, hay, or rose petals as wallpaper.
  • Frank Bielic: [French] country, 100%, and bright colors.
  • Laurie Hickson-Smith: Family-friendly, homey vibes, and almost always will exceed the budget.
  • Edward Walker: Super dramatic.

Hearing the designer’s plan, and HANGING ONTO EVERY LAST WORD.

AP Images

Let’s see the paint samples and color inspiration!!

The designer/ Paige checking in on Ty/Carter/Amy on carpentry in their little white tent set up outside.

TLC

The designers leaving for the night and giving the contestants “homework” aka paint every surface or stuff pillows.

TLC

Paige magically appears to help with a special project, but really paints a shelf for five minutes and then disappears from camera…. And has no clue what she’s doing.

Paige’s final sitdown with the designers, where they usually just end up laughing, and discuss the final result.

Obviously, the reveal! Where the neighbors are absolutely floored (good or bad) when Paige un-blindfolds them and they get to see their new room.

When the cast of “7th Heaven” appeared on an episode, and it was glorious because who didn’t ship Lucy and Kevin???? (Basically it was the perfect combination of two of my favorite childhood shows.)

Then, when they made a kids edition, and legit my childhood dreams came true.

Like, when wasn’t “Trading Spaces” iconic? And design inspiration-worthy? Can’t wait for the debut of the new season, let’s queue up my DVR…

18 Celebrity Instagrams That Prove Their Homes Are Where The (Chic) Heart Is

We all know celebs have the best style – from hair, makeup, and styling – our favorite stars are often the perfect Pinterest inspiration for upgrading our own looks. But, it’s not just their own looks that always seem so Pinterest-worthy. Have you ever scrolled through your fave’s Instagram feed and noticed the uber-chic home furnishings almost that steal the spotlight in the background of their selfies and daily snapshots? Because I have, and can I just say, OBSESSED. So, here at Quite Simply Miranda, I decided to round up my favorite celebrity Instagrams that will totally inspire you to update your own interiors.

Olivia Wilde

Wilde’s New York adobe is the epitome of hipster chic, and we’re obsessed every time the actress gives us even a glance at her chic furnishings in a post.

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First born. Hero. Old man. Paco. ❤️

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Absolutely love the deep blue velvet-looking sofa (unfortunately not dog-shedding proof!) with bright pops of colors from throw pillows and a throw blanket. Wilde sure can accessorize a room!

Reese Witherspoon

It’s basically common knowledge that Witherspoon is the queen of southern charm and bright colors (hello, Draper James!), and her Insta feed and her home obviously reflects that.

Absolutely obsessed with the mom of three’s ultra-classic yet simplistic kitchen, featuring white cabinets, gold knobs, gray cabinets (love the mix of colors!), and subway tiles! Perfect for baking with her brood!

And of course, Witherspoon can entertain, in the perfect spot to do so. Her backyard is decked out with cozy wicker chairs and plaid throw pillows to create a perfect outdoor living space.

Victoria Beckham

Former Spice Girl “Posh” and fashion designer Victoria Beckham certainly knows what’s chic. It’s no surprise her home follows suit.

Featuring an ultra-glam staircase and flooring.

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Mummy and me 💕Thank u @nlvogue x VB

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And a super-glamorous chandelier that only Posh Spice would have…

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#RedNoseDay #RedBows X kisses from Harper x VB

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And this picture-perfect entryway. I mean, from the tiles, to the doorway, to the cast-iron window panes, I don’t know which part I prefer: they fit together so seamlessly and I am positively obsessed.

Jessie James Decker

The country singer and her football player hubby’s life as family of four is captured on an E! reality show, because GOALS. Another reason that makes them absolute #goals? Decker’s style. Case in point:

A rustic-looking table for the country crooner.

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This boy has stolen my heart

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Marble in the bathroom? Definitely glam.

The master bedroom also features a substantial amount of glam between the headboard, pillows, and chandelier bedside lamp.

Rachel Bilson

The former “O.C.” and “Hart of Dixie” actress is no stranger to playing fashionista characters, so it’s only naturally that the stylish star has some killer home tastes as well.

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My little twinkle toes ❤

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A little print never hurt…

Bilson certainly keeps a cozy kitchen!

The rest of her home is definitely minimalistic (excuse the kid’s toys) but still cozy.

Kristen Bell

The actress’ Instagram is full of genius mom hacks, but if you take a closer look, you’ll also find she has amazing taste.

Definitely a chic outdoor living space with lots of fun colors and prints.

She definitely has created a cozy living space (minus her husband Dax’s Laz-E-Boy).

Lauren Conrad

The former star of “The Hills” has certainly made a name for herself in the fashion and crafty sphere, and of course her home would look amazing, of course it would.

Minimal and beachy, so on-brand, and absolutely stunning. Pinterest goals, anyone??

Camilla Luddington

While on “Grey’s Anatomy,” the Brit trades in her accent for an American one to go with her light blue scrubs, her home life (and Jo’s too!) is super chic.

Behind the emotional and super sweet scene between Jolex on the show, I’m absolutely in love with Jo’s apartment decor. So chic, I love it! Can I live there IRL???

This “Grey’s Anatomy” star certainly made a haven for her newborn daughter Hayden. I have one word: ADORABLE.

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The OG bubs #gusgus #rescue #scruff

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Talk about a cozy house in real life too!

Joanna Gaines

How could you forget about the queen of HGTV, Ms. “Fixer Upper” herself??

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❤️

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I absolutely love every piece Gaines has incorporated into her home. She makes farmhouse and rustic decor look so effortless and chic. I love it!

Seriously, her taste is amazing and I’m obsessed.

Oprah Winfrey

Of course mega-mogal Oprah can do anything. Including setting a perfect tablescape.

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My favorite part..

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Holiday goals courtesy of Oprah, natch…

Kristin Cavallari

The mom-of-three certainly keeps a chic home.

The former reality star and NFL wife clearly has exceptional taste. I especially love her living room rug and rustic-inspired white coffee table. Stylish and perfect for the whole family!

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I guess Saylor wanted some ice cream

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I love her adorable kitchen rug.

Jessica Biel

Not only are Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake uber-successful in their own careers, but they are also Hollywood royalty. And on top of that, their home is super chic. Could they be anymore perfect??

The Timberlakes certainly know outdoor living.

And check out the unique tilework in the bathroom!

Carrie Underwood

I’ve always loved Underwood’s fashion style, and guess what? Her home is equally stylish.

The songstress sure can make a comfy place, for babies and puppies!

Behind the goofy family’s shenanigans, her kitchen is super family friendly and chic. Love!

Ellen Pompeo

Famous for playing a surgeon on TV (and the reason I sorta understand medical jargon now in real life), but in real life, she plays mom to her three kids and does so in her Architectural Digest- photographed home.

Behind the adorable mother-son dance, we get a glimpse at how the real life Meredith Grey decorated her family-friendly home.

And like her pups, I love her blanket choices!

Kate Hudson

Hudson has killer style, so it’s obvious her home would too.

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Happy pants 💃🌿🌸 @fabletics

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Let’s just say, CLOSET GOALS. (and life goals, really.)

Tia Mowry

The once child star is clearly all grown up, living in her stylish L.A. abode (as we got a glance on her former reality show with her twin sis Tamera years back).

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Table is set! @gameofthrones #winterishere

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The “Sister Sister” alum knows how to throw a party.

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It's all about the Pom Pom. ⚫️🌑

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Her bedroom may be minimalistic, but it’s still so chic. Love.

Kourtney Kardashian

Perhaps the K sister known the best for her home decor (she wasn’t on the cover of Architectural Digest for nothing…)

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Last nights slumber party.

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Talk about about a sweet bedroom setup! Kall me obsessed.

Excuse the ad, but I absolutely love her living room decor. Ah-mazing.

Sarah Michelle Gellar

The former “Buffy” star has transitioned into a family-friendly mom of two, and her home reflects that while remaining true to her stylish tastes.

Love all the fun prints and colors in the Geller-Prize household. Gorge.

Way in the back, peep the super cute cabinets and lighting behind the selfie. Pinning now…

And… her office is just as cute. OMG I want a space like that.

Talk about some serious home decor GOALS?! Anyone else feeling an apartment makeover, pronto?

10 “Bachelor” Nation Happily-Ever-Afters That Will Remind You That True Love Does Exist

Who says you can’t find love on camera?

In honor of “The Bachelorette” finale tonight, where #BachelorNation will finally learn the mystery identity of Rachel Lindsey’s fiance, I thought I’d run down the *cutest* moments where “The Bachelor,” “Bachelorette,” and “Bachelor in Paradise” stars actually found love (and said yes) on a reality show (seems crazy, no?).

Trista and Ryan Sutter

The OG Bachelorette and her chosen suitor are still going strong, most recently have celebrated over ten years of marriage and two children together, Max and Blakesley. Talk about Bachelor legends!

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My family. My everything. ❤️ #justbecause #fbf

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Jason and Molly Mesnick

While Molly wasn’t the recipient of the Final Rose, she did get a fantasy proposal on ATFR and they’ve lived as a happy family in Seattle with his son from a previous marriage and their daughter together Riley.

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💙🏝🛥 #Cabo

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A little #TeaParty to start the day😘🙃😉😄

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Ashley and J.P. Rosenbaum

Ashley was first seen on the train wreck that was Brad Womack’s second try as The Bachelor. But luckily for J.P., that didn’t work out for her and next season she was chosen as The Bachelorette where she finally got her happy ending with J.P. Completing their ABC journey with a televised wedding and a baby gender reveal on the Men Tell All, this family of four remains just as cute as when J.P. first greeted his now-wife outside the mansion, this time with little ones Ford and Essie.

Sean and Catherine Lowe

Perhaps one of *the* best Bachelors in the history of the show, Sean and wife Catherine Giudici continue to be just as adorable as their ABC wedding special, as evidenced on their Instagram pages as a family of three, with cute baby Samuel.

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Inseparable.

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If my heart was any fuller, it would burst.

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Mine.

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Desiree and Chris Siegfried

One of my personal favorite Bachelor couples would have to be Des and Chris. They just seemed so full of love during her season (once you look past all the Brooks drama) and it seems that hasn’t wavered a day, especially after welcoming their son Asher during the Bachelor Baby Boom a year back.

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BabyBoss #YouTalkinToMe ?

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Kaitlyn Bristowe and Shawn Booth

I rooted for Shawn B from the get-go of the “two Bachelorettes” season! His connection with Kaitlyn just seemed so effortless. #RelationshipGoals While they have yet to tie the knot, the Nashville-based couple are still engaged(hey, the Neil Lane diamond is officially hers by now!), but my gosh, are they so adorable together.

Jade and Tanner Tolbert

After a disastrous first season of “Paradise,” that didn’t boast any [real] marriages or relationships to come of the Mexican spinoff, Round 2 had much better luck. From episode one, it was evident there was something between Jade from Chris Soules’ season and Tanner from Kaitlyn’s season. Even without many official dates, these two coupled up pretty quickly, so it was only fitting that their season ended in an engagement. And now, this married couple continues to be just as adorable on social media as they prepare for their daughter’s birth soon.

 

JoJo Fletcher and Jordan Rodgers

During JoJo’s season, we saw her fall hard for the famous football player’s younger brother from night one. While they remain engaged, the couple is still cute and goofy together.

Carly Waddell and Evan Bass

In “Paradise” last year, the singer from Chris Soules’ season unexpectedly found love with the “ED expert” Evan from JoJo’s season. Which, I know, WHAT. Carly went from literally throwing up after their hot pepper first kiss to “boarding the Evan train” once again after a brief trip to a Mexican hospital. We as audience members went from cringing at his failed attempts to woo the two-time Paradise contender. But somehow he did. And, so gosh darn cute together. And in a few weeks time, we’ll see their wedding play out on season four of “Paradise.”

Annnnddd… as of yesterday, Waddell and Bass just announced an exciting addition!

More next-gen Bachelor Nation playdates to come??

 

Rachel Lindsey + Fiance???

Obviously, we don’t know who the attorney accepted a proposal from (well, I have my hunches… And a Bachelor bracket I’d really like to get correct.), but in the meantime doing press, Rachel seems SO in love. Which is great for her, and I’m happy about. (I’ll be even happier if it means my Bachelor bracket is correct, just saying…)

I love seeing all these happy couples in love. It gives hope that, hey, maybe you can find love on a TV show??

We Now Know Who Will Be Playing Our Faves in Mean Girls The Musical

These characterizations are so fetch!

Before Regina George scolds me for trying to make fetch happen, I need to say one thing: Who can’t wait to see Mean Girls the musical?

Not only is it one the most quotable movies of all time, it also comes with a golden message about how we should be treated. What could be better? I know, having movie scribe Tina Fey write a Broadway musical version of her hit 2004 film.

And as of today, the auditions have concluded and the staging is ready, because we have our new Plastics, full of Broadway superstars. Here’s a breakdown of who’s who when North Shore takes over the Great White Way:

Cady Heron: Erika Henningsen

Henningsen was last seen on Broadway in Les Mis as the youngest Fantine ever and will step into Lindsey Lohan’s iconic teenage shoes to play the new girl in school.

Regina George: Taylor Louderman

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Princess Party! 💙💙💙

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Making her Broadway debut in Bring it On, Louderman is ready to take on another iconic teen film adaptation, fresh from her performance opposite Brendan Urie in Kinky Boots. She’s certainly come a long way from her summers as a Muny teen in the St. Louis humidity. (And doesn’t she look like a young Rachel McAdams in the film’s homecoming scene??)

Gretchen Weiners: Ashley Park

Ashley Park, most recently in The King and I and Sunday in The Park With George, is definitely so fetch.

Karen Smith: Kate Rockwell

Another Bring it On The Musical alum, Rockwell is ready to have ESPN visions and apply bedazzled initials onstage.

Rounding out the North Shore gang:

Janis: Barrett Wilbert Weed

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Movie night at home featuring my nose 💕

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One guess: she won’t be wearing a wig from mom’s chest hair?

Damian: Grey Henson

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because you're worth it

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One of the coolest people you’ll see in the show! (As per the clique map.)

Aaron Samuels: Kyle Selig

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Be cool. #cops #timessquare #newyears

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The only question: will his hair look sexy pushed back?

Ms. Norbury: Kerry Butler

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My husband took this on #sethbdwaycruise #leica 💗

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Big shoes to fill if you’re playing the role that the script writer originated.

Kevin G: Cheech Manohar

Looks like he’s ready to tackle the shoes of a young M.C. and mathlete…

Principal Duvall: Rick Younger

He didn’t leave the South Side for nothing…

Here is everything Tina Fey has said about the musical before today’s big announcement.

I can only imagine how some of the most iconic lines and scenes will play out on stage. Will we see Mrs. George? A whole song about infinite limits? A recreated version of the talent show number? I want all the details.

All in all, this musical is shaping up to be so great. I know I’ll be quick to get tickets once it hits the New York theater scene. Until then, the musical will play D.C.’s National Theatre from October 31-December 3.

Seems like Gretchen was right after all…

Ravens and Roses: The Optimal Way to Watch This Season of “The Bachelorette”

Many members of #BachelorNation host premier viewing parties every Monday night (complete with roses, fantasy league brackets, and wine, lots of wine.), but one specific viewing party has to be THE best.

NFL players (these guys get paid to slam other people around for sport, mind you) are actually big ole softies. Case in point: The Baltimore Ravens players host a Bachelorette viewing party weekly, as they posted on Facebook.

Here’s the video in its entirety:

While watching the ultimate guilty pleasure reality show first was a joke, these men quickly were captivated by the programming and made watching a weekly thing.

We’d love to be a fly on the wall at their party every week! (Sure beats my bed and takeout for sure!)

[h/t Entertainment Weekly]

Analyzing This Year’s Crop of Bachelorette Contestants…

Because I enjoyed it so much during JoJo’s season, it’s that time of year again!

Once again, this post are my first impressions of the men only, straight from their ABC bio pages, exclusively. (And hopefully, some of these negative bios can prove me wrong next week when the show starts airing. (I DARE YOU.)

Without further ado, Rachel’s men…

OK, I thought this 27-year-old real estate agent seemed nice and friendly (i.e his most embarrassing moment was “when I told my mom I was going on the Bachelorette.”), then I kept reading.

Case in point:

  • Most romantic birthday present: “A threesome.”
  • Do you consider yourself a good cook: “Yes! I used to cook four-course meals in college and charge people. LOL” (So, he talks with ‘LOL,’ all caps??)

Reading very bro. Pass, Rachel, PASS.

Prediction: International.

He was the guy that won (sorry, spoiler) the group date hosted at the Ellen show. Initial reactions, like the Ellen audience, he is clearly attractive, looks-wise. Can his personality live up?

  • Do you consider yourself romantic: “Yes. I like to treat my significant other like a queen.” 😍 😍 😍
  • What is the most outrageous thing he’s done: “Ate a live salamander.” *goes to throw up*

Other than the salamander, WOW. I like this guy!

Well, Alex, you’ve got my vote (because that’s how this works, right?!?)

Prediction: Finale.

He’s done some awesome volunteer work globally! Good for you!

Prediction: See ya later after night 2 or 3.

Was he on the Ellen date too? Can’t recall.

First off, poor guy. He’s an aspiring drummer. Yikes. So, unemployed?

OH MY GOD his favorite flower is a red rose because he’s a “classic gentleman.” *rolling my eyes”

I DON’T LIKE HIM.

Prediction: U.S. travel dates.

So it seems like Blake is the “it” name this time around!

Did he copy his namesake’s answer on the roses thing? PASS.

Seems boring.

Prediction: He won’t go past L.A.

My god, he looks like a human Ken doll. Little creepy. (Anddddd… he’s a male model. Got it now.)

I’m getting wrong reasons vibes here.

Prediction: Middle of the pack. See ya in Paradise.

He looks like a country singer. Other than that, he looks very sweet. I like this guy.

Prediction: Final 5.

First thought: super wide jaw. OK, moving on.

  • Greatest achievement: “Making my parents proud and inspiring my little brother.” *swooning*

A few more adorable answers, and some general WTF moments as well.

Prediction: U.S. travel for sure.

Sad story alert. #MamasBoy *wiping my eyes*

He prefers “a woman who demands to be pursued,” good, because you’re on the right vehicle for that.

Prediction: A few group dates, at least.

He seems super sweet and friendly. Wait, did we meet him on After the Final Rose??? Can’t remember.

  • Ultimate date: “No cell phones, technology, just two people geeking out about life, love, goals, family, friends, music, movies, food, etc.” (That’s sweet.)
  • Greatest achievement: “Being a GREAT big brother. Since my kid sister was born, I have taken pride in not only loving her but teaching her about life.”

Yup, #TeamDeMario.

Prediction: Fantasy suites, baby.

One, “Devil Wears Prada” IS a great movie, points added. Nothing else special.

Prediction: Middle of the pack. He’ll find his best friends amongst his competitors.

Meh, not impressed.

Prediction: He won’t leave L.A.

He WAS on the Ellen date!

Which is perfect because….

  • If you could be someone else for just one day, who would it be: “Ellen DeGeneres because she seems to love what she does and people’s days are brightened when they are around her.”

Prediction: Final 6.

Frat guy, and still loving it. Red flag, Rachel.

Immature and dad jokes. Ughhhhhh.

Prediction: L.A., duuuude.

Weird, he has the same best and worst attributes? Huh.

Prediction: He’ll leave night one.

With that name, he’s gotta be a stripper, a singer, or a model. No ifs, ands, or buts. (Plus, he has a first and last name, when there are no other Jacks.)

What? He’s an attorney? OK, I’m surprised. Then why the two names, dude? BUT, doesn’t he look like old school Nick Viall??? (I can’t unsee it!!)

Prediction: Middle of the pack.

He seems sweet.

Spoke too soon: his ideal girl looks like a model. Anndddd, we’re done with him.

Prediction: U.S. trippin’

Country boy? Yup, called that one.

Meh to his answers.

Prediction: Pack your passport!

He was also on the Ellen date! And asked when it was his turn to kiss Rachel.

WTF his job is “tickle monster.” No joke. WHAT?!?

Don’t like him. Same from the Ellen show date!

Prediction: See ya after a few weeks.

They can bond about their legal passions? Meh.

Prediction: L.A. dates only.

He’s a wrestler. For some reasons, I’m getting bad vibes.

Prediction: U.S. travels.

Pretty uneventful answer. Meh.

Prediction: Peace out after night one or two.

That is some high hairdo, wow. Getting some James Taylor vibes from JoJo’s season. But his hair is giving Jef vibes from Emily Maynard’s season.

Prediction: Grab your passport.

He looks like the character Lucas on Pretty Little Liars. Creepy.

WTF is an occupation of “whaboom??” Need clarification, please.

Preditction: Middle of the pack.

Looks like every other Bachelorette contestant. Meh, seems normal.

Prediction: Going abroad.

Couldn’t focus on this retired pro b-baller. Other than he eats paleo. Yikes.

Prediction: Travel dates, maybe.

He seems sweet and nice. What? He thinks being romantic is weak? PASS.

Prediction: U.S. traveling. Then, hola Paradise!

Forgettable vibes here.

Side note: ABC, what type of question is “Gluten?” Could you clarify??

Prediction: See ya in the first night exit limo.

He looks like he knows he’s handsome.

Seems grounded, normal, a few WTF stories. Eh.

(Was he the guy that said they kissed on Ellen??)

Prediction: Oh, he’s going abroad.

Rob looks super plain and forgettable.

Prediction: Byeee after night one or two!

He was the runner-up on the Ellen game show. He seems nice and personable from that appearance and his official headshot.

Prediction: Fantasy suites, at least.

That was fun! What are your thoughts, #BachelorNation? See you next week for viewing parties! Excited for Rachel’s journey (oops, start the drinking game now.) to air.