Tag Archives: the bachelor

7 Early 2022 Books I’ve Been Loving

Posted in Just for Fun, Miranda's Book Nook by

Another year has come and gone, and I’ve already been hyper-focused on 2022’s book releases because there are just, like, SO many good ones coming (and SOON)! While these reads drop throughout this winter and early spring, consider this book blog a must-need teaser when it comes to building out your January/February TBR lists and starting off your annual reading goals on just the right foot.

So, without further ado, I’d like to welcome y’all back to the first Miranda’s Book Nook of the new year and take a peek at some of the early 2022 book titles that I truly can’t get enough of and should totally be on your radar this upcoming year. Happy reading!

When You Get The Chance by Emma Lord

After devouring Emma Lord’s first two novels, I was instantly excited about her next one, and to learn it was centered around a theater kid? Needless to say, I was pumped to start reading.

Here, Millie Price is an NYC teen who dreams of being a Broadway star, and no one can get in her way — not her lovable but dorky single dad, drama club rival Oliver or the overbearing flood of emotions she refers to as “Millie Moods.” She’s on her way and headstrong to make it. After finding her dad’s old LiveJournal (I know, I know, feel old yet??), she decides to track down her birth mother from three possible choices.

From the first chapter, I was immersed into MC Millie’s head in this fun, upbeat read. It’s like an IRL Mamma Mia, which I’m into, and the concept itself is totally original to me. It’s so compelling, and I’m hooked by the storytelling premise and just needed to keep reading. In the end, it’s just so cute, well-written, indulgent, and fun! Like, it made me want to smile the whole darn time; it’s that cute and precious.

While I don’t think this was as good as You Have a Match, in my own opinion, I did enjoy it all the same and think it was compelling, fresh, contemporary, and so absolutely precious. I loved the cute romance storylines too, but even more that they were just side stories to the main journey of coming of age and finding yourself.

Rating: Four Stars

Available: January 4, 2022

One True Loves by Elise Bryant

After devouring Elise Bryant’s Happily Ever Afters, I was instantly so stoked to learn that she was writing a follow-up to Tessa’s story about her bestie Lenore. Oh, and it takes place while traveling the world. Um, yes, please!

Lenore’s family is set for a high-seas adventure on a Mediterranean cruise to celebrate her high school graduation which gave me all the wanderlust feels, and as they do, they met their dining companions: Fellow high school graduate Alex and his parents. While Tessa (eep, she’s back!), ever the romantic optimist, is sure her bestie’s trip will include love in her future, Lenore’s not so sure. And then, she meets Alex. He’s a golden boy with the ten-year plan and she’s, well, the exact opposite. But, as their parents start to bond, they are stuck together for the duration of the cruise. So, what else? They get to know one another.

Alex and Lenore couldn’t be more different and yet, they find themselves drawn to one another in this absolutely adorable YA rom-com. The language is so witty and relatable that I was drawn into the story from the get-go and couldn’t put this quick read down. Absolutely precious and that HEA/conclusion left me grinning from ear to ear.

Rating: Four Stars

Available: January 4, 2022

How to Win the Bachelor by Chad Kultgen, Lizzy Pace

This nonfiction read is a funny, witty look at The Bachelor that ends up like a parody account of how to win this reality TV juggernaut. I call it a parody because the writers lay out instructions and numerical odds of winning the show as if this search for love is nothing more than a game, which, I guess, isn’t technically wrong.

It’s described as a nonfiction deep dive into this popular franchise and what it takes to find love, or more accurately fame, as written by a pair of fans and journalists.

The writing is casual, fun and witty and there’s a couple fun graphics throughout, too. Plus, the final chapter does rightfully address the show’s racial injustice problem and its lack of action. If only the ABC show could actually as well…

Rating: Four Stars

Available: January 18, 2022

Good Girl Complex by Elle Kennedy

After reading Elle Kennedy’s full Off-Campus series (well, thank you #booktok), I was intrigued to see NetGalley that had an ARC of her newest read available for review. And you know what? Color me interested…

Here, we follow Mac, who’s a chronic people pleaser and reluctantly starts college at a prestigious school in the South. Alongside Mac, we meet Cooper, the bad boy townie that she finds herself drawn to. While Mac seemingly has it all — the prep school friends, the well-off life, parents who give her everything, and a devoted longtime boyfriend — something seems off. All she wants to do is grow her internet business but her folks have insisted she get a degree first. So, she enrolls at Garnet College in the beachfront town of Avalon Bay. While she’s used to repressing her wild impulses, something about local Cooper inspires her to let go and be free. Cooper, then, for his part makes a She’s All That-inspired bet with his friends to make Mac, the girlfriend of the boy who humiliated him, fall for him and subsequently break up with that jerk as revenge. What he didn’t expect was to actually fall for her, realizing she’s not like the rest of the snobby Garnet students.

Told in dual perspectives, it’s chock full of juicy, compelling, and fun language that completely drew me in because, let me tell you, I was hooked. And sure, while there is some *spice* here (much like the Off-Campus books), this New Adult read seems more grounded and story-driven with vulnerable characters who have heart, dreams, and goals. Then, gah, that ending! While I appreciate a good HEA in my romance reads, I just wanted more to the story because it seemed to abruptly wrap up and I desperately wanted to see where Mac and Cooper were headed next!

Rating: Four Stars

Available: February 1, 2022

Lockdown on London Lane by Beth Reekles

Beth Reekles, who’s known for her Kissing Booth books, has seamlessly stepped into the adult/women’s fiction game with this novel. Here, various residents in the London Lane apartment building get a note from building management that they are expected to quarantine for a week amidst the beginning of the pandemic. With nowhere else to go, these various characters end up confronting their current lives and situations. We get a variety of leading players, from longtime couples confronting the future of their relationship, newly dating couples diving into that next stage very quickly, a bridal party who cannot stop fighting while prepping for upcoming nuptials, and a one-night stand that unexpectedly lasts a whole week.

So, there’s longtime couple Ethan/Charlotte who are quarantining apart but FaceTiming daily, Zach/Serena who embark on a no-holds-barred fight about their future after a seemingly mundane debate, Liv who’s hosting her fellow bridesmaids after an off-the-rails bachelorette party, Isla/Danny who’ve been dating for one month and put their relationship to the test, and Imogen/Nate who only met the night before after matching on a dating app. Told in multiple perspectives, we see how their different friendships and romances are tested in a series of quick novellas.

While reading, I absolutely couldn’t put this book down thanks to its catchy language that’s just so much fun and draws me in. Not only that, but this quick read features an array of equally lovable yet authentic characters that I’m invested in each of their journeys. It did read like mini-vignettes or something since each story was quite separate until one cute scene towards the end that really brings everyone together as a community. Plus, that ending (minus one heartsick twist) had me grinning so wide at this adorable and fun read.

Rating: Four Stars

Available: February 2, 2022

Lease on Love by Falon Ballard

I was enthralled and captivated by this romance novel from the very first page until the very last. It wasn’t just a sweeping romance that totally had my heart from the get-go but it also shared insight into a pair of flawed, vulnerable individuals who find their own identity and dreams along the way.

This book picks up when Sadie gets passed over for a long-overdue promotion in the finance sector of Manhattan, so she does what any millennial in the midst of a quarter-life crisis does: She gets drunk and tries to seek a date. However, when she accidentally mixes up a dating app and a roommate-finding app, she stumbles upon Jack, the owner of the most beautiful Brooklyn brownstone she’s ever seen. Knowing she’s not interested in Jack romantically in any way but rather lusting over his gorgeous apartment, she rents a room in his place for a tiny sum. After losing her job, she decides to start a new career as a BK-based florist.

Then, there’s the mysterious Jack, who’s been grieving the death of his parents and unexpectedly finds himself drawn to the vivacious gardening enthusiast who brings him out of his shell. These two are complete polar opposites stuck in the same orbit, which gives me The Roommate by Rose Danan vibes, with opposites attract and forced proximity tropes at work. And side note, dang, Jack is one great Book Boyfriend, like, um, good work there because I’m melting. Oh, hot damn, oh boy, oh boy.

It’s such a quick read that I could not put down, nor did I want to. I was that desperate to know what would happen next in this story of a relatable millennial trying to find her way. These characters are so vulnerable, authentic and just have so much heart that I truly feel for them and want them to grow as individuals and in love. Also, yes, there’s some *spice* content in here, but the passion is almost described with an air of love to it rather than being a completely smutty/raunchy type of scene.

Rating: Four Stars

Available: February 2, 2022

One Night on the Island by Josie Silver

After One Day in December came out, I loved it. End of story. So, the moment I learned the author had written a new book that was set in Ireland, a tale of forced proximity and finding oneself, I was all-in.

Here, we follow Cleo, who’s a London-based dating columnist who heads to the remote island “Salvation” for her 30th birthday at the insistence of her magazine editor. When she arrives at the luxury cabin for her solo retreat, a mixup sends Boston-bred Mack into her orbit, who came to the town to explore his roots while staying in the exact same cabin. Thanks to the booking mishap and the lack of a boat to the mainland, the pair are stuck sharing the one-room space together for a while. Instantly at odds, the pair try to ignore one another, however that plan soon goes out the window. As expected.

Told in dual perspectives, this women’s fiction novel combines forced proximity and enemies to lovers/opposites attract tropes with a tale of finding oneself. This book reads quite quickly, full of compelling language that just draws me in. For nearly the first half of this read, it was more of a women’s fiction slash slow burn type of story and then we get into the frothy, indulgent holiday romance cuteness that had me smiling wide. It’s a cute, compelling novel, end of story.

Rating: Four Stars

Available: February 15, 2022

Advance reader copies of the books listed were provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

7 New September Book Releases That Belong on Your Fall TBR

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The latter half of July hasn’t been the most productive for me as a reader either. I believe my final monthly total was just 11 books, which is significantly down from what I was managing at the top half of the year. But, that being said, I did manage to complete some extraordinary novels (one even got a five-star review from little ole me!)

So, settle back in for another installment of Miranda’s Book Nook as I reveal seven September book releases that I couldn’t get enough of this summer! As always: Happy reading, my lovely followers!

In Every Mirror She’s Black by Lolá Ákínmádé Åkerström

This novel shares insight into what it means to be a black woman today, following three distinct POCs who are in some way linked to the same influential Swedish white man in Stockholm.

Kemi is a workaholic marketing executive who moves to Sweden to head up diversity for CEO Jonny’s company after a tone-deaf incident and partially looking to reclaim her social life in the process. Meanwhile, Brittany-Rae is a flight attendant who meets Jonny on a flight and is suddenly thrust into his luxury world. Then, there’s Mena, a refuge struggling to establish residency in a new country while working as a janitor for his company.

The book aims to tackle racism, classism, sexism, tokenism, and fetishization as these three women come to terms with what it means to be a black woman in a white-dominated society. Told in three point-of-views, this book reads quite quickly and is well-written, engaging, and difficult to put down with many complex characters sharing their stories and journeys.

Rating: Four Stars

Available: September 7

The Charm Offensive by Allison Cochrun

This book is pitched as Red, White, & Royal Blue meets One to Watch rom-com, and as a fan of both of those books, I was excited to see that juxtaposition come to life in this totally original romance novel.

The story follows awkward tech wunderkind, Charlie, as he’s set to become the next lead on a reality TV dating show, called “Ever After.” Then, there’s his handler, producer Dev, who wholeheartedly believes in fairy tales though hasn’t had luck with his own. Charlie, who only agreed to go on the show to rehab his image to get a new job after the show airs, isn’t the typical show lead and is very awkward and anxious. It’s up to his producer Dev to jumpstart a massive “charm offensive” to get Charlie to open up, be a likable lead, and fall in love on the TV show. Along the way, Charlie starts opening up to Dev and vice versa, and the two realize they have the most chemistry with one another. But, reality TV shows have scripts to follow and unfortunately, a queer love story with a show producer isn’t what the executive producer had in mind for the season (though, I’d watch it!).

Told in dual perspectives of both Charlie and Dev, this book is broken down in a logical way by the weekly production and episode. Okay, as I read I really did love this book. It brought a similar narrative as Red, White, & Royal Blue if it were set in the world of The Bachelor, and its language was so well-done. It was engaging, funny, and enjoyable from the start, which made it difficult for me to put this book down at all. It’s so darn precious and cute, plus was a quick, unputdownable read. This book and these characters were so authentic and relatable as the author touched on mental health, therapy, and LGBT+ representation in poignant, realistic ways.

Rating: Four Stars

Available: September 7

The Pick-Up by Miranda Kenneally

After reading several of her YA novels, Miranda Kenneally is fast becoming an auto-purchase YA author for my bookshelf, and so I was so excited to learn about her latest book. Told in dual perspectives, it’s a fun and light romance read about two teens, Mari and TJ, that meet in a ride-share en route to Lollapalooza.
Here, Mari doesn’t believe in dating and only plans to be at her Dad’s house in Chicago for the weekend only for the festival. Meanwhile, TJ wants to study art in college but struggles how to tell his family, especially as he visits his overachieving brother in Chi-town for the summer. After they meet and fate brings them together more than once, they both realize the spark between them is burning way too bright to ignore. The pair starts out at the festival, but quickly get separated. It’s up to fate and a viral Twitter hashtag to bring them back together. Once they reunite, they contemplate if this thing is a weekend fling or something more.
Reading this book, I found it to be a quick, fun, and light New Adult read. The language is fun, relatable, and witty that just pulls me in and I don’t want to put it down. Plus, it’s a beyond cute story. Then, I loved the post-HEA tie-in to her characters from Four Days of You and Me since that was one of my top YA books of last year.

Rating: Four Stars

Available: September 7

A Lot Like Adios by Alexis Daria

I was so excited to learn about Alexis Daria’s most recent novel after I devoured her You Had Me at Hola romance book. A Lot Like Adiós is an equally fun, spicy, and engaging beach read with heart! Set in the same universe as Hola, we follow Jasmine’s cousin Michelle (the second Prima of Power, FYI) on her own love journey, and it’s a second-chance romance with her childhood best friend Gabriel (Gabe).

Michelle is described as a commitment-phobic Latina who’s built a successful freelance graphic design business after corporate burnout. Meanwhile, Gabe owns the hottest celebrity gym in LA and his investor urges him to open an NYC branch. New York aka the place he fled after high school graduation, disappearing from his best friend and longtime hidden crush Michelle’s life. The story starts as Gabe is about to go to New York to open this branch and work with the already-hired Michelle to tackle the brand’s marketing. She’s itching for closure so she agrees to have him stay with her for the days he’s in town. But soon enough, they pick up exactly where they left off 13 years ago. As the duo works together, they find their old feelings resurface and SERIOUS SPICE ALERT.

Told in dual perspectives, it’s chock full of engaging storytelling that just pulls you in, and as expected, yes you’ll get *some* spice. Also, I really like the insight of the pair’s high school IM chats; it makes a fun flashback scene peppered throughout for insight into where they once were. It has such engaging, quick language that drew me in. Also, while it did have LGBT+ representation, which is great and I love to see more diversity in romance novels, it was only just a piece of their backstory and something that’s flitted over quickly. But all in all, A Lot Like Adiós will be an ideal beach read to toss in your bag during a vacation!

Rating: Four Stars

Available: September 14

First Love, Take Two by Sajni Patel

I absolutely adored the author’s previous novel, The Trouble With Hating You, and so the moment I learned of her upcoming sequel, I knew I had to read it. And it was a good one. After wanting to be a part of Liya’s badass girl gang from the get-go in TTWHY, I’m so glad we get to see her best friend Preeti find (or re-find) love. This read picks up pretty soon after the last ended, but from Preeti’s side. She’s been finishing up her residency, overly stressed with work and job hunting, and managing her traditional family and community. She’s desperate to find a new place to live, and the only option she has is with her ex. Her ex-boyfriend is none other than her first love Daniel, who’s good-looking, confident, supportive, a good cook, and basically perfect. Or he would be if their families approved of the couple.

We’ve got a second chance romance and a forced proximity trope and ooh boy, was I so excited for that. Much like her last book, this read has such quick and witty language that pulls me in from the first chapter, Preeti is such a vulnerable and authentic main character, and this book is a quick read yet plenty swoon-worthy. Their relationship in this slow-burn story is basically the premise of Olivia Rodrigo’s “1 step forward, 3 steps back,” which is all I will say for now. And that ending is completely, absolutely, and squeal-worthy precious.

Rating: Four Stars

Available: September 21

No Words by Meg Cabot

Meg Cabot has done it again! Cabot is back with her third installment in the “Little Bridge Island” series, and it is equally adorable and engaging watching a new pair of [bookish, which, yes please] characters fall in love. Our main characters are Jo Wright, who is an acclaimed children’s book author with serious writer’s block, and Will Price, an arrogant novelist of literary fiction who lives in LBI. The duo are both set to attend and speak out the island’s first-ever book festival, yet they have an intense history and rivalry between them and so Jo doesn’t want to associate with the British-accented, good-looking author whatsoever. Yet, he desperately wants to prove to her that he’s changed and hopes to make amends during the course of the weekend festival. From the summary alone, I can tell we’re going to get a delicious enemies-to-lovers trope and a fun vacation romance from Cabot, which instantly excited me about this book — and it totally delivered on all fronts. Loved loved loved it!

Once I started reading, I was pulled in from the get-go and chapters told via IMs, emails, and interstitials of Will’s latest novel further, which help put you into the character’s heads. Plus, by chapter one, we see that Molly (from No Offense) is back and readers are clued into what’s going on with her post-HEA. Like the rest of the LBI books, No Words is a good and engaging standalone yet the side characters and setting weave in the beloved, established community that Cabot previously and masterfully created. Enthralling language pulls me in and I just have to know more thanks to its endearing and authentic characters. Like seriously, I’m devouring this book just like Jo devoured The Moment in it! As a romantic couple, Will and Jo are so adorable and have banter up the wazoo: totally precious and cute. The epilogue is equally adorable yet I would have liked more to their HEA and journey as a fan, just saying, but as is, it is quite satisfying as a romance read.

Rating: Five Stars

Available: September 28

The Matzah Ball by Jean Meltzer

I love a good holiday rom-com and to see a rare one about Hanukkah and Judaism immediately piqued my interest. Here, Rachel is a Nice Jewish Girl (and daughter of an acclaimed rabbi) who secretly loves Christmas, who even authors several popular Christmas romance books. After her publisher insists she writes a Hanukkah romance next, she faces a bout of writer’s block until she comes up with the brilliant plan to attend the glamorous Matzah Ball in the city. Except it’s sold out. And run by her former summer camp nemesis, Jacob, who she hasn’t seen since he broke her heart that one summer.

Told in dual perspectives, it’s a quick read and a cute-enough romance that gives off wholesome yet pretty religious vibes. Like think of a Hallmark holiday movie and it is a clean, precious romance: It’s like that. It’s easy to follow along as a reader and was enjoyable and fun.

Rating: Three Stars

Available: September 28

Advance reader copies of the books listed were provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

My First Impressions on the 30 Men Who Will Date ‘The Bachelorette’ This Summer

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I’ve been falling off the Bach Nation wagon in recent years. First, Arie, Colton, and Peter bored me so badly I had to quit watching. Then, there was the hot mess that was Clare/Tayshia’s season, which was followed by the massive sex-shaming, bully-centric season that belonged to Matt James. And it’s all gotten to be too much to handle. Though, James’ contestant Katie Thurston (AKA TikToker @ventwithkatiee) was a beacon of light for anyone who had to endure his entire season with her funny quips and actions to stand up to the bullies. So, we were glad to hear the network made the only acceptable choice to cast her as the next lead.

Will I watch? I don’t know if I’ll make it past Night One again, but I guess for the sake of tradition, I’ll give it a try. And, speaking of tradition, I’m back on this blog to share my raw first impressions of the 30 men that were cast and vetted to date Katie on national TV. With the official cast bios out, keep reading below as I share what I think about each contender based on their headshot, name, age, hometown, job, and ABC’s definition of “fun facts.”

Aaron, 26, Insurance Agent

His bio calls him a “strapping young man,” which blech. Apparently, there’s more to the San Diego native than meets the eye — and bring on the cliches. He works in sales, but loves the outdoors, surfing, swimming, and lifting weights. All in all, I get a basic twentysomething dude vibe here.

He claims to be thoughtful, sensitive, and ambitious which all sounds great, but what guy wouldn’t say that try and land a girlfriend? Apparently, his only flaw is that he’s a procrastinator, but I’m sure with a little more time I could find more. *squints at this photo with intensity*

Also, he has a neck tattoo, but the ABC photo editing software seems to be quite adept at airbrushing because I don’t see it.

Can We Just: He fears an animal that’s extinct. Well, hun, good news, it can’t bother you.

Andrew M, 31, Deputy District Attorney

We’re already off to a good start with a right-reasons age and a stable job for this Cali boy, based in Newport Beach. Yada yada yada, he loves his job but is more than just a DDA. He coaches youth water polo because he used to play pro in Hungary (who knew they were great at water polo?) and loves adventure. Oooh, he “LOVES” to play pranks: all caps. And at age 31? Red flag.

Oh, spoke too soon: He actually “Tebowed” on the stage at his college graduation. Oh, Katie, please save yourself.

Can We Just: He openly admits that he “loves to sample men’s fragrances from magazine inserts.” One, why would you admit that? And two, how is that a “fun” fact?

Andrew S, 26, Pro Football Player

Coming all the way from Vienna, Austria (by way of Chicago), fans have already noted Andrew No. 2’s cousin is none other than footballer Clay from Boring Becca’s season. Sooo, Dale vibes? Or wrong reasons ones? Too early to call on this one.

He is open that he really wants to get married and have five children. Excuse me, your poor future spouse; I hope she’s okay with that. He’s close with his 96-year-old grandma, so cue the hearts of Bach Nation women melting, I guess?

Can We Just: His go-to party trick is “imitating accents from around the globe” and eesh that could go south real quick, hun.

Austin, 25, Real Estate Investor

This is one of our class babies, and he’s from Mission Viejo in Cali. He’s a house flipper with lofty aspirations. He’s described as smooth, funny, and handsome, which like who actually says that about themself?

He’s openly admitting that he’s dated “many” women, but none serious enough for him. Poor girls, I hope they didn’t think so. And like most basic AF dudes, he just wants to find his Queen Bey to his Jay-Z. No. Just no.

Can We Just: He really loves his white shoes and fears something spilling on them. Oh, please, capture this on the show??

Brandon, 26, Auto Parts Manager

First off, producers really did him dirty because that is one awful hairstyle. I don’t even know where to start. Anyway, he’s from Queens and is “quirky, intelligent, and unapologetically himself,” which that’s nice. You do you, hun.

IDK what his bio is, but “He attended Northwestern University where he says he learned to outgrow behaviors that limit his progress as a person” and “He currently spends most of his weekends at home working on a new skill he’s trying to develop.” Where do you think you are?

He does want an equal partner in life, but he *needs* a woman who “understands the importance of putting in effort.” Like with her appearance? I’m making a face right now since you cannot see me typing this.

Can We Just: He loves an *occasional* rave and riding a motorcycle, but really hates overpriced restaurants. Which like, he wants effort but won’t take you to a nice dinner? I’m confused.

Brendan, 26, Firefighter Trainee

He’s our token Canadian this year! Hailing from Toronto, he loves enjoying life to the fullest, and oh hello, more cliches. He’s training to be a firefighter if you couldn’t tell because he wants to make a positive difference in his community, which that’s sweet. Cannot deny that.

He wants a partner with banter, which don’t we all, hun, and who’s adventurous with an open mind. He loves being clean and organized, which dude is racking up points quickly in my notebook.

Can We Just: He really doesn’t like vegetables. Um, how is that a fun fact?

Christian, 26, Real Estate Agent

This Boston boy is a big-time romantic and family-oriented. But, not humble. Oh no, he revealed that he’s quite the professional success, having sold more than $25 million worth of real estate. Yea, he does look a little slick like many agents. Blech.

He just wants to find his best friend and someone to go through life with, which like who doesn’t? His ideal girl can keep a promise. That’s your main thing?

Can We Just: He loves parades! Fun fact how? Also, he boasts that he “rocked” a fauxhawk as a kid. Dude, you’re an adult move on from the past, yea?

Cody, 27, Zipper Sales Manager

First things first, what is a zipper sales manager? Does he just sell zippers or is Zipper the name of the company he does sales for? Need more information, please.

So, Cody’s from San Diego, has a six-pack, surfs, and is a romantic gentleman. Blech, please don’t talk about your abs already, I hardly know you. He’s an Eagle Scout, which that’s nice. Oh, oh no: “When Cody falls, he falls hard.” I foresee a rough, clingy journey ahead for Katie.

Can We Just: His favorite TV series is The Jersey Shore. Which, a real fan would know there’s no “the” in the title. Also, out of every single show??

Connor B, 29, Math Teacher

Hailing from Nashville, Connor with two N’s is lovable, quirky, and charming who teaches math in middle school: how adorable. He has a master’s in medical physics and has previously been a nuclear engineer, which, like damn: he’s smart and nerdy. I like it.

OK, I’m surprising myself because I don’t see a single red flag??? He wants a partner who can share his zest for life, is genuine and kind, is accepting and open-minded. He owns his own tux, which, like, cutie. Like, where is he hiding? Why haven’t I met someone like him? Katie, don’t let him go. He’s the one man out of 30 (including a box, see below) that I actually like as a competitor. He’s the Ivan (my birthday twin, just saying) of this year’s crop of suitors!

Can We Just: He claims “he can eat cereal faster than anyone,” which how and why do you want to know that?

Conor C, 28, Former Baseball Player

Apparently, one Connor isn’t enough because we have two, except this one has only one N in his name. He lives in Costa Mesa, Cali and is a *barf* “athletic stud with a heart of gold.” He loves the beach but wants to move back home to Oklahoma with his wife by his side. He’s looking for a “giver” and is always up for a good time, whether it’s bowling or an intimate night at home. *coughs* Those are the only options for date night?

Religion is important to him, and growing up he loved wearing puka shell necklaces. I’ve seen enough.

Can We Just: He shares a birthday with Matthew McConaughey. What? He didn’t do anything for that, that’s by chance.

David, 27, Technical Product Specialist

He seems normal. He lives in Nashville but is from New York, and is a first-generation American. He’s looking for a driven and intelligent woman with quiet confidence.

He did debate in high school, is an *NSYNC fan, and digs NYC pizza. All relatively normal.

 

Can We Just: If you’re such an *NSYNC fan, you should know how to stylize it in print. Just saying.

Gabriel, 35, Entrepreneur 

He looks like some suave Frenchman, which I’ve yet to decide if that’s a good thing. He’s based in Charlotte and is quite the “Renaissance man,” apparently.

Well, he has a lot of passions, including finding forever love, which blech. He says he’s introspective, creative, and confident. He’s looking for a woman who’s stimulated by intelligent convos and knows herself.  Eh, seems fine?

Can We Just: He “doesn’t understand the concept of athleisure” and believes that “people should respect elegant styles of the past.” Which, WTF does that mean? So, ladies, red alert because you can’t wear your leggings around this man.

Garrett, 29, Software Marketing Manager

We can’t have The Bachelorette without one Garrett! He’s from Salinas, California, and loves his marketing career. He wants a woman who is caring, intelligent, and is a critical thinker.

He has a five-year-old German Shepherd named Archer and describes him as a “very good boy.” Awww, pics please???

First red flag: He claims to be a “YOLO type of guy.” If you say, ‘YOLO,’ that’s the red flag part, sweetie.

 

Can We Just: He’s not a fan of tangy food. How is that fact fun??

Greg, 27, Marketing Sales Representative

This New Jersey dude is also suffering from a Bad Hair Day, eesh. And oh no, do I see the words “Greg is the full package?” Oh, good lord. So apparently, he’s handsome, kind, vulnerable, and serious about settling down.

He calls himself a hopeless romantic, like every other dude here. His perfect first date is something active (hard pass, hun) like “riding bikes, dancing, or going to a concert.” HOW IS GOING TO A CONCERT ACTIVE???? Also, he wants at least SIX kids, good lord.

Can We Just: I think it might be that he thinks going to a concert is an “active” date or doesn’t know how grammar works.

Hunter, 34, Software Strategist

Hunter’s from Houston and is one of two single dads on this season. He’s described as expressive, passionate, and outgoing and something about him gives me Evan Bass vibes. He has two kids and is a romantic. He claims to be known for writing love letters and give his crushes mixtapes or flowers. That’s sweet. What will he bring Katie one for Night One then?

So, he’s never ridden a horse, but “REALLY” wants to. So, like he wants a horseback riding date? Or at least a cowboy-themed one?

Can We Just: He’s openly admitting his favorite pastime is people-watching. Why would you admit that you basically like stalking?

Jeff, 31, Surgical Skin Salesman

OK, let’s get this over with. I understand that he sells artificial skin for surgeons to use in the O.R., but, like, surely he has an actual job title that sounds less creepy??

IRL, he’s from Jersey City and comes from a big Italian family. So apparently, he’s energetic, outgoing, and loving. He’s seeking an adventurous woman with a sense of humor. IDK, I’ll think I’ll pass on this guy, Katie.

Can We Just: He calls himself an “exceptional lover,” which like NO HE DID NOT. OH, HE DID. WHAT. That’s a bold statement, which, also makes me want to gag. Can we get an ex in here to corroborate then?

John, 27, Bartender

Oh brother, we do not need another pilot on this show. John’s from Pacific Beach in Cali and is quite the thrill-seeker, who’s even studying for his pilot’s license, surfing, hitting up EDM shows, and jumping out of planes. Ew, nope.

He’s a vegetarian and is also a romantic looking for someone genuine, honest, and willing to challenge him to be a better version of himself. Oh, we’re going there with turn-ons, too, ooookay then.

 

Can We Just: Loving the smell of fireplaces? Weird fun fact, right?

Josh, 25, IT Consultant

This Miami-based baby of the class is embracing his inner Matt James (AKA he’s wearing a turtleneck here). So, he claims to love hard, is humble, and is kind-hearted yet goofy.

We have another hopeless romantic in the bunch who’s very in touch with his emotions. How many times will we see him cry then this season?

My red flag things: He starts celebrating Christmas months early in October. No. Also, he’s so inflexible that he has to sleep on the right side of the bed at all times.

Can We Just: He *has* to sleep on the right side of the bed.

Justin, 26, Investment Sales Consultant

This tall and handsome painter is a self-proclaimed catch, which like blech. He hails from Baltimore and is specifically looking for a girl who’s passionate about fitness. Hahaha, nope. Thanks for playing, hun.

Oh, what do you know? He’s also a romantic and wants to find a meaningful physical and emotional connection with our girl Katie.

IDK, don’t have much of an opinion on him.

 

Can We Just: He doesn’t like to dance at all. But, will he dance though?

Karl, 34, Motivational Speaker 

If you remember, he was supposed to go on Clare/Tayshia’s season but was cut. So, welcome back, I guess?

Karl’s based in Miami and is quite charismatic and confident, who’s still “looking for his forever love.” Oooh, red flag alert: commitment-phobic because work’s outweighed personal life.

Meh, IDK quite the boring bio if I’m being honest.

Can We Just: His favorite holiday is New Year’s Day, and I think he’s the only one?

Kyle, 26, Technical Recruiter

So, Karl and Kyle are both Floridians, so my memory is going to be scrambled trying to remember both of them just by name.

He’s looking for a rom-com love, which I see why you are here now. He’s also a hopeless romantic and is ready to settle down and start a family. At 26? Maybe it’s my skewed sample in NYC but like do those guys actually exist at that age?

 

Can We Just: He hates mayo and mustard, which that is not a “fun” fact.

Landon, 25, Baseball Coach

Hailing from Dallas, apparently, he’s a kind, handsome, and outgoing guy who’s ready to settle down. LOLOLOL this line, “After a very successful collegiate basketball career, while working hard to receive his master’s degree in global business, Landon is finally ready for marriage and children.” Like, school’s done? Time to pop out some babies? Also, is that code for he has no real ambition?

Noo, oh, no: He’s also a “strong lover,” guys, BLECH. Why would you say this???

Can We Just: He’s a Belieber hahahahah! Do we still say this word?

Marcus, 30, Real Estate Agent

He’s from Portland, Oregon, so he’s the closest to where Katie is. But, proximity doesn’t always mean anything. So, he’s sweet with a calming presence, which that’s nice.

He’s successful in business yada yada, looking for someone smart and ambitious, that tracks. He loves board games, and Monopoly is his favorite. Oh sweetie, red flag, that’s like the worst and most annoying one.

Can We Just: He’s an “amazing” lover too. Why would you want to put this out to the world? Also, can we get an ex to actually answer if it’s correct?

Marty, 25, Dancer

What type of dancer is this Reno-based dude? Like Broadway-caliber, a Chippendales situation, or like a club patron-goer? I need answers, people.

So, he apparently has lots of energy and confidence, and a necklace just as long too. Oh gosh, he “loves to show off his rockin’ bod,” which, NO.

 

Can We Just: He has a self-declared tagline, which is “Marty brings the party.” Double red flag.

Michael, 36, Business Owner

Here’s our second single dad of the bunch and it’s Michael from Akron, Ohio. He mentioned his kid’s age and name, which like no, you don’t care about his privacy? Oh ok, just checking.

His life is apparently fulfilling and he is ready to find someone to share it with. He’s looking for someone witty with a sense of humor and is compassionate and resilient. Good qualities. Definitely get a right-reasons vibe from him, that’s for sure. Also, please bring Dino Nuggets for Night One.

Can We Just: He “makes a mean plate of Dino Nuggies.” And either if that’s because he’s a dad or he just like nuggets, I can roll with that.

Mike, 31, Gym Owner

We’ve got a Michael and a Mike. Mike is from San Diego, is apparently religious and (red flag alert) owns a gym.

So, he’s a former baseball player in the MLB, like the one-N Conor! He’s definitely very into his faith, evident from his bio and cross necklace. So, he’s quite easygoing, social, and goofy yet disciplined. He wants a woman who likes to stay active (buh-bye) and make him laugh.

Hahahah so he calls himself basic, well, I’ll call you basic, too. For sure.

Can We Just: He doesn’t like dessert AKA a monster. That’s all. You may see yourself out, hun.

Quartney, 26, Nutrition Entrepreneur 

He’s from Dallas, and I’m not sure what a “nutrition entrepreneur” is and how that’s different from like a gym owner, but you know, I’m cool not knowing.

So, he’s apparently ready to put it all out there for love, well, have you seen the group dates? You’re in the right place for that. He’s called compassionate, caring, and honest who likes making big romantic gestures. But what will his limo exit be??

Oh wow, so he “loves to daydream about having a family and says that the number one thing he is looking for is someone to be an amazing mother to his future children.” But, um maybe don’t bring that up Night One. Just a helpful hint. It does say “idea of a perfect nightcap is a robust bonfire with s’mores, music and dancing,” which does sound good, so you get one point for a good idea. I’ll give you that.

Can We Just: “Scuba diving is at the top of Quartney’s bucket list.” That’s not a fun fact about you, that’s what you’d like to eventually do one day.

Thomas, 28, Real Estate Broker

Hailing all the way from Poway, Cali, Thomas believes everything happens for a reason, and oh good, we’re back to an excessive use of cliches. Cool cool.

Other than that, he’s looking for companionship and really loves food. Like really loves it. A lot. A lot a lot. Have you gotten the memo yet? Just really want to drill home that Thomas loves food and considers it his love language. He can even dedicate an entire half-paragraph to talking about it.

Oh no: He used to “rock” Ed Hardy back in high school. I don’t like the sound of that.

Can We Just: “Thomas often wonders if The Rock really can eat everything he posts on Instagram for his cheat meal days.” THIS IS NOT A FUN FACT. A FUN FACT IS SUPPOSED TO TELL US SOMETHING ABOUT YOU.

Tre, 26, Software Engineer

Tre’s coming to meet Katie all the way from Covington, Georgia as the “handsome catch with the huge heart.” Have we heard that line already? Can’t recall but sounds familiar.

So, he’s family-oriented, kind, outgoing, and open-minded. Nice qualities. He wants a strong woman and someone to be spontaneous with. So, his favorite activity is going to brunch with friends and book club. Which, YES. Do they go together? Either way, yes.

Can We Just: He loves the harmonica. Interesting yet odd fun fact. But is it fun?

??????, ??, Box

Everything is literally described with “??????” I know we saw someone wheel this in on Night One, and presumably, a person is in there. But, like, who thinks they are a present for Katie? Gross, I just threw up in my mouth a little writing that line.

Can We Just: We have no information. Who thinks they are, like, God’s gift to women and this show? Because NO. Hard pass.

Updated: My First Impressions on 40 Women Who May Date Matt James on ‘The Bachelor’

Posted in Pop Culture by

Yes, you read that correctly. Just a week before we started Clare’s (er, and Tayshia’s? Maybe? Who knows?) Bach journey on TV, the reality TV juggernaut dropped a handful of 40-plus women who may end up vying for the first black Bachelor’s (the extremely eligible nonprofit founder and former footballer Matt James) affections on TV next year.

So, per tradition, I’m back on this blog to dig into my first impressions, and all I can hope and pray that the producers did, like for Clare, bring us more relatable, diverse, and right-reasons people. Now, that producers have granted us access to the names, ages, hometowns, and headshots of these future influencers in training, let my first impressions blog post commence. Obviously, I’ll be basing this post off of first impressions from a photo and whatever info I can Google about each lady for now. But, once we get closer to a premiere and get an official bio and some fast facts from the network, this post may be amended to include more up-to-date deets that they’ll tell us. We have an update, y’all! Each first impression is now amended to discuss the 32 ladies who will be seen vying for Matt’s heart, based on their official ABC cast bios.

Abigail, 25, Client Financial Manager

A bit young on the age scale, but this Salem, Oregon native is giving me all sorts of wholesome vibes. Also, that picture looks like it was definitely her graduation photoshoot from college.

She lives in Portland and works in finance. According to the cast bios, she’s the first hearing-impaired contestant on the show, and I’m always down with the show promoting diverse backgrounds.

Can We Just: Her favorite way to approach a man is by “accidentally bumping into them.” Also, she loooves Calvin Harris “because his beats slap.” ‘Nuff said.

 

Alana, 26, Photographer

Hailing from San Antonio, Texas, I get serious Victoria Fuller vibes from the trainwreck that was Pilot Pete’s season. Now, she leaves in Canada and is very adventurous and independent.

She supports BLM, so she has a soul. That’s good to know.

Can We Just: A self-proclaimed queen of puns. We’ll see about that, darlin’.

 

 

 

Alicia, 24, Professional Ballerina

She’s from Morgantown, West Virginia, and definitely is on the younger age bracket of Matt’s contenders. Like, the cropped sweater, wrist scrunchie, and leopard belt all illustrate that. (She said, typing this while she had a scrunchie on her own wrist.)

She’s a professional ballerina, no, for real. So cool! She’s confident but not sappy, is not one for cheesy pick up lines, and is looking for an intelligent and respectful man. Aren’t we all, hun, aren’t we all.

Can We Just: She has a lot of loves, like every veggie but tomatoes and hot cocoa. I get it. But, it’s a lot of loves.

 

Amber, 30, Nursing Student

Right off the bat, we’re starting off strong in the appropriate age bracket with this Rialto, California lady. From what I can see, she definitely looks like a model slash wannabe influencer with the long blonde locks, big lips, that one-hand-in-her-hair pose, cutoff jean shorts. But, do my eyes deceive me or does she not have a thigh gap. WHICH LIKE PLEASE, finally, at least one contestant who’s not Barbie-thin! All I want to see.

Oh dear god, she’s an actress. Ugh. Producers, why. Stop doing this. OK, so she’s a single mom and is finally ready to focus on herself first.

Can We Just: Her physical type is “MATT JAMES!” Oh lord, can we get security on standby, gracias.

Anna, 24, Copywriter

A girl from Owatonna, Minnesota who looks young. Fresh-faced and authentic, sure, but baby-faced too. She seems friendly, like she’ll be able to make friends with most of the girls in the house.

She lives in Chicago, has a bubbly personality, and works as a copywriter. She also does improv and sells her clothes online. Ick, she was a high school cheer captain and STILL bragging about it.

Can We Just: Terrified of fish AND obsessed with cheese, huh, ok, we really need to have a chat over what constitutes a fun fact.

 

 

Bri, 24, Communications Manager

Woo, they do seem to be serious about more racial diversity! That’s a huge first step, but only a first step. The San Antonio, Texas girl may also be on the younger side, but looks very polished and maybe a bit timid. Which, timid is not the best because shy people go home on Night One.

Shy may be right, because I cannot find any deets about her online. Her bio says she’s “really something special,” and who is calling her that because I need to know. Oh, great she has the job of her dreams, now please don’t quit to be an influencer. I’m begging you. Be normal.

Can We Just: She’s openly admitting that brunching is one of her favorite activities. Sure, it’s a nice meal and all, but your favorite thing to do, ehhh…

Brittany, 23

Another baby for the class! Hailing from Chicago, she looks like any typical college student or recent grad. She looks like the girl who claims not to wear makeup, but actually wears 12 different products that make her look like she’s not wearing any cosmetics.

A model, DJ, and athlete. Of course. I’m rolling my eyes. Gah, producers, real people! That’s what we want. Not influencers in training.

**No longer a part of this season**

 

 

Carolyn, 30, Journalist

An East Coaster all the way from Newburyport, Massachusetts is on the way! She’s clearly got an edgy streak, what with an arm of different tattoo designs. IDK, there’s something here that I can see could be compatible with Matt, just thinking of the two of them side by side. One FB commenter remarked how at 30, she’s too old for Matt. Hun, she is only two years older than him. Why are we being ageist here??

She actually lives in LA, natch. And she’s a journalist by trade. OK, she’s independent, a serial monogamist, and spontaneous.

Can We Just: She likes postpunk music, and TBH, I have no clue what that is.

Casandra, 25, Social Worker

OK, here’s clearly an aspiring model, but someone Matt would be into maybe?? The Lodi, California gal looks very naturally pretty and I think Matt will definitely see that too.

She works in healthcare in Long Beach, and yea, def beachy vibes here.

Can We Just: Scared of the dark and openly admitting it. Oof, should we tell her about the show’s penchant for haunted house dates yet or nah.

 

 

 

Catalina, 29

Oooh, she’s from Caguas, Puerto Rico. Have we had a PR resident on the show before? She definitely looks like she’s a professional working girl with a real job and benefits, which yay, score one. Ooh, interesting, apparently she’s a past Miss Universe. I wonder what Matt thinks about beauty queens.

In addition to being a beauty queen, she’s an author and an attorney, which impressive.

**No longer a part of this season**

 

 

Chelsea, 29, Runway Model

Short hair alert! Apparently, do we need to note this now, because that’s just a rarity for the show, ugh. She hails from Marietta, Georgia and looks personable and normal, and like yea, I’d root for her and Matt.

She’s a model living life in NYC, per IG, but like a LEGIT model.

Can We Just: She loves Hot Cheetos and her fave meal is just snacks.

 

 

 

 

Corrinne, 22, Marketing Manager

Oof, another freaking baby? Producers, what’s going on?? But, this girl, another Corrinne is clearly a model or wannabe model. She’s from Pomfret, Connecticut and I’m getting popular girl vibes for sure.

Has a big family, whom she works for at their Italian restaurant. Oh, and Disney fan!

Can We Just: She once snuck into an abandoned insane asylum at night. Many follow up questions are needed.

 

 

Emani, 25, Realtor

She’s pretty and, like, she would look gorgeous standing beside Matt at the end. That’d be one good-looking couple. She’s from Albuquerque, New Mexico and looks very sweet and genuine.

She works in DC as a realtor, per LinkedIn. Seems very genuine and down to Earth, and is always down for solo dance parties at home. Huh, I knew I liked her!

Can We Just: Isn’t a “lovey-dovey” person which I get, but IDK about that for this show.

 

 

Illeana, 25, Health Food Developer

This girl, first off, needs a better photo because terrible lighting and she’s in shadows. But, also, I can deduce she’s a certain type of snooty, preppy girl because she has a golden cursive name necklace. She hails from South Salem, New York, and everyone remarks how she looks like Colton’s ex Cassie. Which, yikes. Bad flashback, sorry.

She’s a model, an NYC realtor, and co-founder of some healthy snack company. It debuts in 2021 and is called “Funky Monkey Energy,” which so does this season, and is so convenient, darlin’. I’m sorry, hun, but there will only be one CORN on the franchise. She’s described as the “perfect mix of beauty and brains,” and excuse me, I just threw up.

Can We Just: Her bio is just promoting her business. Like, hello, wrong reasons.

Jessenia, 27, Social Media Marketer

Catherine Lowe lookalike alert! She’s from San Antonio, Texas and she seems sweet, genuine, and like she’s here for the right reasons. I’d root for her too.

Apparently, she likes photography and works as a social media manager, thank you LinkedIn. She’s a former beauty queen and has three dogs.

Can We Just: She loves escape rooms. Like on purpose, huh.

 

 

 

Kaili, 26, Hostess

This San Diego, California girl gives me big-time Hannah Ann snooty vibes and like, crap. I don’t want that again. She looks like a mean, popular girl and far too materialistic.

Apparently, she works in hospitality, but that’s all I can find. Her bio sells her as a fun, witty, and charismatic lady.

Can We Just: Daily sunset runs. Bye.

 

 

 

Katie, 29, Bank Marketing Manager

She looks like a tomboy and someone who’s athletic, and I’m not mad at it. From one tomboy to another! She’s from Lynnwood, Washington and looks wholesome and kind.

She’s a TikToker! She has nearly 233,000 followers that people seem to like, but also has a real job it seems.

Can We Just: A fun date for her is going skinny dipping. Girl.

 

 

 

Kennedy, 23

From Washington, DC, but I’m just sick of these lil’ snooty babies. Because this pose gives me wannabe influencer vibes.

She’s a cheerleader for Washington Football. Apparently, she’s a business and tech analyst too and loves tacos. Which, who doesn’t?

**No longer a part of this season**

 

 

 

 

Khaylah, 28, Healthcare Advocate

This Bronx, New York native looks like she’s super confident and that’ll turn the other ladies against her. But, that means they are just jelly.

She’s a portrait and fashion photog in North Carolina, based on her website. She’s also quite passionate about health in her community and giving back, which, like good for you.

Can We Just: Only likes camping if it is glamping. Oh, I’m cackling.

 

 

Kim, 28

She’s from Cypress, California, but doesn’t leave much of an impression on me based on her photo choice.

Her IG refers to herself as a “Professional Dumpling,” which um, PLEASE BE HER LOWER-THIRD CAREER, PRODUCERS.

**No longer a part of this season**

 

 

 

 

Kimberly, 28, Airline Recruiter

A bit #basic, yet still seems down-to-earth, relatable, and authentic. She hails from Lake Tapps, Washington.

Based on IG, she lives in Seattle and works in “corporate America” as a recruiter for Alaska Airlines, according to her LinkedIn. She’s a carefree soul apparently and is funny and loyal. Which, who wouldn’t say that about themselves.

Can We Just: Isn’t afraid of anything unless a man has a foot fetish. Oh, more cackling. I mean, she’s got a point, but like, I don’t know anyone who’d say that is their only fear.

 

Kit, 21, Socialite

It’s the class baby! She’s designer Cynthia Rowley’s daughter, so you know she’ll make it on the show and have killer outfits. She’s from New York City and I definitely get socialite-model-influencer vibes, for sure.

She’s already an influencer, thanks to what I see on her public IG, and she hosts a podcast alongside her famous mama. Ohhh, here’s some tea. She is still active on IG when Matt James already had his phone taken, which either means they haven’t taken her phone in the quarantine period, she got cut already, or someone else is posting on her account for her. I wonder. Admits to having high standards and hates men wearing flip-flops.

Can We Just: She surfs in high heels. Like a true socialite princess she is.

Kristin, 27, Attorney

She’s from Virginia Beach, and she seems confident, self-assured, humble, kind, and I want to root for her.

She’s an associate attorney based in NYC, specializing in “in sports, recreation, entertainment, product liability, and employment and labor litigation.” Well, she and Matt both live in Manhattan.

Can We Just: Oh, are pink roses really the way to your heart or is that a Bach reference you’re trying to make.

 

 

Lauren, 29, Corporate Attorney

Is this photo a little blurry or…?? She hails from Miami and IDK, I just can’t get a good read on her from this average photo.

She’s a lawyer based in Miami, which, we stan a driven woman. She’s in a book club, yay, we love Bach contenders who actually can read.

Can We Just: Terrified of lizards and frogs. Oh, we’ve got a lot of fears happening. Girls, just don’t tell the producers.

Madison, 27

She’s from Granger, Indiana and that makes sense. She gives me fresh-faced, All-American, small-town girl vibes from her friendly smile, modest outfit, natural curly hair, and low-key makeup look.

TEA TIME! Apparently, she already dated Matt last year. According to Reality Steve, the pair dated last summer when his best mate Tyler C. was seeing Zayn Malik’s current love Gigi Hadid. In fact, Madison and Matt were seen together at one of Gigi’s fashion shows, and they dated for a few months. Ooh, Kelley F. vibes anyone?

**No longer a part of this season**

 

Magi, 32, Pharmacist

Watch out, ladies, we’ve got a big-time contender here! IDK why, but I get good vibes from Magi. She’s like model-pretty, but still down-to-earth and approachable. She hails from Adwa, Ethiopia, and I just get the vibe that Matt would be lucky to date her. Also, M and M, how absolutely precious for future monograms. Just saying.

According to her Insta, which thank heavens is public, she’s a pharmacist and started a nonprofit to “help [kids] get 1 pair of shoes to safely walk to school for the entire semester.” Wow, driven and impressive. She’s got beauty and kindness with such an incredible story.

Can We Just: Best surprise was front row tickets to a Beyonce concert. Which like, the only Can We Just moment is HOW. Can you please enlighten us?

 

Mari, 24, Marketing Director

Hailing from Luquillo, Puerto Rico, this young lady gives me serious influencer-in-training vibes. It’s the pose, the fake enthusiastic smile, the stick-straight hair, the huge lips that read as inauthentic to me.

She’s a former beauty queen, who won Miss USA 2019 just two years ago and she’s from or lives in Maryland. Now that her pageant days are over, she has a real job and is looking for someone to settle down with.

Can We Just: Loves to sing but isn’t very good. Kudos for the honesty.

 

 

Marie, 25

Now this Sandusky, Ohio is like a Hannah Ann lookalike, which, oh brother. It may be the matching facial structure, dark brown wavy hair, or cropped off-the-shoulder top. But with all that, she seems more genuine and down-to-earth. Like, I’d be interested to see her thrive in Paradise. If we’ll ever have BIP again? That’s up to COVID, though.

IG stalking bears no fruit, but based on her LinkedIn, she’s a speech pathologist in LA.

**No longer a part of this season**

 

Marylynn, 28, Event Coordinator

Age is right on the money for this Huntington Beach, Cali girl. But, I just get influencer, model vibes again, which, like UGH.

Private Insta, lives in LA, blah blah blah, can you say basic? She’s on TikTok too, but not very active and just posts slow-mo walking vids.

Can We Just: Terrified of sharks, yet she grew up surfing.

 

 

 

Michelle, 27

Hailing from Woodbury, Minnesota, she seems friendly and natural-looking which makes her more approachable. However, I sort of get shy vibes. Which crap, because shy goes home on Night One.

Her IG, while public, only has two photos and she only joined this past April. Can’t find much else, so we’ll be going in blind on the premiere night next year.

**No longer a part of this season**

 

 

MJ, 23, Hair Stylist

Baby, baby, baby! She may not be the youngest girl of the bunch, but she looks like one of ’em. She hails from Hudson, Ohio and this photo was definitely her sorority graduation picture, for sure. I mean, you graduate college during a pandemic in one of the worst job markets in history. What else are you going to do besides sit on Mom and Dad’s couch for seven months? Applying for The Bachelor at least gives you something to do, a place to go, and maybe even a future Insta career.

She’s a hairstylist, according to IG, working on “lived-in color + hand-tied extensions” for clients, and she also does spray tans too. Oh, scratch that, she’s apparently a “beauty expert,” ohhhhh.

Can We Just: She loves disco music. That’s her fun fact.

Nicole Remy, 25

OK, she looks like a catch that Matt would be lucky to date! She’s from Lakewood, Washington, and I get authentic, friendly vibes all the way. Like, I can see all the girls wanting to be her friend and Matt wanting to get to know her.

Her IG bio boasts she’s a web developer and a former NFL cheerleader. That’s true, according to LinkedIn, she danced with the Seattle Seahawks for two years. Her colleagues in web development mentioned she’s great at what she does. Which, we love to see a woman being successful at work.

**No longer a part of this season**

 

Nicole Rovner, 31

Seriously, I guess do we need to start a Scrunchie Count this season?? They are all wearing one in their FB bio photos! Nicole R. #2 is from Wilmette, Illinois, but her lower-third will just say Chicago if she makes it on the show.

We’re going in blind here, because her IG is private with no bio and I can’t find anything else about her by Googling.

**No longer a part of this season**

 

 

Pieper, 24, Graduate Student

She’s from Happy Valley, Oregon, and has such a baby face. Like, she looks like a baby and also a wannabe influence. Like, she just thinks being an influencer is super cool and dreamy.

She is a model, because of course, based on some agency profiles. Then, according to her LinkedIn, she is a current grad student and is open to finding a new job. Well, maybe not until winter when the show’s done, right?

Can We Just: She doesn’t like picnics because of sitting on the ground to eat. Yes, really.

 

Rachael, 24, Graphic Designer

Oooh, she gives me Hannah Ann vibes. A Southern girl from Cumming, Georgia who’s quite young, up on the latest Gen Z fashion crazes, and dreams of being a #influencer.

Per her Facebook, I definitely get basic recent college grad vibes. She’s a “southern sweetheart” and is a hopeless romantic despite never being in love herself.

Can We Just: She’s “very neat with organization and cleanliness, and messy with plans and schedule,” which like walking contradictions, but, um, sure.

 

Ryan, 25

Hey, it’s definitely her repurposed LinkedIn headshot that she submitted to the producers. No questions. She hails from Mechanicsville, Virginia, where she seems like a young professional. And IDK, I just get the vibe that she’d be one of the early exits. Can’t deduce much about her personality, and also I think producers wouldn’t like that she looks like she’d stay out of drama.

Cool, she’s a dancer who was an Alvin Ailey Scholarship Program recipient and a performer on the show, POSE, according to her IG bio.

**No longer a part of this season**

 

Saneh, 25, IT Consultantnt

I get Alexis vibes from Nick’s season, aka the dolphin-shark girl. She’s from St. Augustine, Florida and looks like she’s empowered, confident, ready for love, and genuinely wants to meet Matt.

According to her Twitter, she lives in Denver where she works as a recruiter, and she went to the University of Florida for undergrad and her Masters. In case you were wondering, we are both connected to the Intern Queen herself, Lauren Berger, on LinkedIn. Wow, she really loves the outdoors.

Can We Just: Ran her first marathon at 16, ugh runners.

 

Sarah, 24, Broadcast Journalist

OKAY, she has to be a model. For sure. She’s from San Diego, California, and she could easily be a doppelganger for Alexis Rose on Schitt’s Creek. 

Per her private IG, her bio indicates she’s a journalist, host, model, and podcast host of the “From Here to Where Podcast.” Her podcast just launched in January, so what a great promo opp this show is, huh? She lives in LA and is big into fitness and empowerment, I guess, and wants a man that prioritizes that too.

Can We Just: TRAINED. FIRE. DANCER. IDK what that is, but um, please be her lower third.

 

Serena C., 24, Flight Attendant

She’s from San Bruno, California and this young lady just has the most precious baby face. Like, she matches the 21-year-olds in terms of youthfulness.

Oh goodie, we’ve got a fashion blogger on our hands here, but she hasn’t posted in a year. Her style is self-described as “contemporary street-style with the occasional bougie but always a little EXTRAAAA.” So, oh boy. Oh, she has a real job too. She’s a flight attendant based in San Fran. She’s a free spirit but high maintenance when it comes to dates and dating it seems.

Can We Just: “Nothing makes her happier than the perfect outfit” sounds quite shallow.

Serena P., 22, Publicist

Another baby comin’ in hot! And our first lady from Canada. She’s from Markham in Ontario, and her outfit’s bringing the edge. She looks like she cannot wait to start her own “Serena’s Style” YouTube channel or something.

According to her LinkedIn, she’s a marketing intern who is looking for FT work in Toronto. She began her internship this August, so did she leave for Bach OR was it a summer thing that ended? So, she’s logical and like sports.

Can We Just: She’s chronically hangry. How is that a fun fact?

 

Sydney, 28, Marketing Specialist

I’m getting so much Rachel Lindsay vibes for Lindsay’s lookalike! She’s a Southern gal from Franklin, Tennessee who seems like she has her priorities in order and knows what she wants, is settled in her career, and wants to find love.

Her IG is also private, but indicates she does marketing in Nashville for a local recruiting company, VACO Nashville. She’s strong and opinionated who won’t settle for just any man.

Can We Just: She loved Twilight, even those it is embarrassing to admit.

 

Talie, 24

This Belmont, North Carolina girl is giving me troublemaker vibes. It’s her pose. It’s the one-hand-on-her-hip, the forced smile, and the tight yellow dress.

According to her private IG, she’s a “recruiter and esthetician.” Her real name is Nitalia, and is also a writer who’s been through some hard shit, according to her blog.

**No longer a part of this season**

 

 

Victoria, 27, Queen

She’s from NYC and you can tell she wants to be a singer-songwriter. That’s clearly what this picture is from, right? Her demo tape that she sent to Nashville?

Apparently, she’s relocated to LA, natch, and has since deleted her IG page. How convenient, hmm. She’s launched a few health and beauty businesses and has a big personality.

Can We Just: I mean, her occupation is listed as queen. Dear lord, help us.

Here We Go Again: Judging Clare Crawley’s Suitors on ‘The Bachelorette’ on First Glance [Updated]

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Now that many places are starting to come out of quarantine and resume somewhat normal lives, it’s time for Bach Nation to get back on track. The Bachelorette, now set exclusively at a California resort, is set to resume filming with Clare Crawley’s journey with 42 brand-new suitors (sans Matt James for obvious reasons). Right before filming kicked off, the show revealed a sneak peek of the men vying for Clare’s heart. A few things: They did *slightly* age up her men, which thank god. Hopefully, that means less drama and more right-reasons folks. PLEASE. But then, there are only 12 POC contestants. Twelve out of 42 is barely .2 percent. Also, there’s barely any other diversity besides race and age. Like, IRL not everyone looks like models. Come on, ABC.

OK, rant time over. Now, that we have the official names, ages, hometowns, and headshots of these guys, it’s time for my annual thoughts based on first impressions alone. Obviously, I’m basing this post off of first impressions from a photo and whatever info I can Google about each man for now. But, once we get closer to a premiere and get an official bio and fast facts from the network, this post may be amended. (Then, hopefully, I can bring back my favorite “Can We Just” segment.)

Update:  As of September 29, ABC has given us the official lineup of the men that will be on the show, post-COVID quarantine, and their official bios, so we’re back to update this post.

AJ, 28, Software Salesman

Now, this Irvine, California native may still be a bit too naive or young for Clare. But, they do live only six hours apart. Could that help jumpstart a potential future and real life? Based on his photo, he looks very All-American and a picture-perfect white dude.

He has a private Instagram account, so we can’t do much snooping. But his bio reads, “Likable Lothario” which yikes, but also “future stay-at-home-dad.” Huh. It also boasts that he’s a college grad and a current MBA student.

Can We Just: Apparently, he “doesn’t show up to anything without doing his research.” So, how much research did he do on Bach Nation and Clare?

Alex, 28

This El Paso, Texas guy also skews on the younger side of things. Which, IDK. Again, a basic All-American white guy. He does look quite sweet and cute. I can see him being a hit in Paradise.

Another dude with a private Insta, but his bio boasts his interest in health and fitness, “good livin'” whatever he means by that, and that he has two lil pups and is a “dog dad.” If that’s not the definition of basic. He is on LinkedIn too, but only has 63 connections, so I’m not sure if he’s that into his professional career or genuinely doesn’t know how to use LinkedIn. However, his name’s been in the limelight because some eagle-eyed fans spotted that he’s been arrested quite a few times. So, like, ABC, are we doing background checks anymore?

**Not listed on cast bios**

Ben, 29, Army Ranger Veteran (Now, a Personal Trainer)

We’re aging up just a smidge with this Indianapolis guy. (Hey, do you know Ben Higgins? LOL.) Giving me weird hair vibes and I’m not into it.

He also as a private Insta page, but his bio describes him as “your coach.” Excuse me as I go throw up. And apparently, he’s a fitness trainer. Blech times two.

Can We Just: He loves his new job as a PT, blech. Oh, and he loves an ice bath.

 

 

Bennett, 37, Wealth Management Consultant

Here we go, we’re getting the age right! Finally. More men that could be on the same page as Clare. Praise be. He’s from Atlanta and seems bubbly and personable, but for some reason, I’m getting a smarmy vibe that maybe he’s too perfect?

Insta gives us no clues, but LinkedIn does. He’s a professional living in NYC with a real-life adult job. So, one step already. I thought I saw a too-perfect vibe, and I was right. His LinkedIn headshot, a degree from Harvard, yea, I feel that I was definitely right. I’m just confused: he graduated in 2007, and then immediately became a Senior VP for a major corporation in finance? I just have questions or he has no clue how LinkedIn works and inputted dates wrong. I’d give him a chance though because this picture from Facebook shows kind eyes and a smile. So, I guess maybe you can’t always judge a book by its cover. But, not even if it’s a slick one??

Can We Just: He calls himself the total package and hasn’t pursued a girl since high school, and pass.

Blake Monar, 30, Grooming Specialist

Another Indiana guy and he is tatted up. Seriously, his arms are covered. His hair’s doing a weird swoopy, pompadour thing which, eh. And I just get a bad boy, drama-centric vibe. But thanks to the network for giving us his last name that makes my sleuthing job much easier. Turns out, he is the President and CEO (humble much?) of a men’s grooming business in Phoenix called Statum Style. Oh no, is he a Nick Viall 2.0? Oh, and he models. Great.

Thanks to his modeling agency in Phoenix, we know now his height, measurements, eye color, and shoe size too, LOL. Oh, and in case you cared, his company Statum Style is all-natural.

Can We Just: “Blake Monar loves pancakes.” Enough said.

Blake Moynes, 29, Wildlife Manager

No, we really have two Blake M’s??? Ok, he doesn’t have tattoos and is from Ontario. So, we have Tatted Blake and Canadian Blake. That helps. In a shock to no one, this tall Canadian prospect was apparently a hockey player in college. Thank you, Google.

He has no known Insta page, which makes my quest for info more difficult. So, I guess we’re going in blind here. He works with endangered animals, which is so cute and sweet. How lovely.

Can We Just: Ninja Turtles! Yea, he really loves ’em.

 

 

Brandon, 28, Real Estate Agent

Wow, he looks a little intense. This Cleveland, Ohio dude apparently doesn’t smile in casting photos and it makes him less than personable. Also, this is totally a photo you’d find on his Tinder. Oh someone, please come through and confirm this. Looks like a model or something, which, pass.

Based on his Insta, also private, he’s a luxury real estate agent and a model based in NYC. According to his firm’s site, he is interested in acting, art and architectural history, traveling, food, yoga, and skiing. I’ve read enough, I’m done.

Can We Just: “An Italian stallion in the prime of his life.” Ick. Oh, and he admits he has “abs of an A-list movie star,” ugh, can he go home now?

Brendan, 30, Commerical Roofer

No, and we have a Brandon and a Brendan? My head hurts already. The Massachusetts guy seems physically perfect and that’s really all I can gauge from a photo.

According to his Insta (still public!), he’s an artist, but like based on the photos, he’s also a model. Geez, we’re screwed then if most of her men are models. Aka classic wrong reasons types.

Can We Just: His friends call him “BMoney.” Just no. Oh, and he likes to rock turtlenecks.

 

 

Chasen, 31, IT Account Executive

He’s also from Cali, and just an hour from Clare. Good or bad, IDK yet. Looks like a model, so yea.

Based on his Insta, he’s into fitness and a tech consultant. Oh yea, and he models too. Because, obviously. But, he does seem to have a legit, real-person job, so there’s that.

Can We Just: He. Wants. A. Golden. Doodle. Puppy. Now, that’s what you put in a bio! Gah, I wanna see the puppy pics once he gets the lil guy.

 

 

 

Chris, 27, Landscape Design Salesman

He’s from St. Louis, Missouri. OMG, where did he go to high school? I need to know. That would supremely help out his first impression. He may bring the median age down, but like I just need to know about his background in my hometown. Would give me plenty of insight.

Other than that, I literally cannot find anything about him on social media. So, I guess, I’m going in blind here too.

Can We Just: He “loves camping, but won’t go for longer than three days at a time.” Um, okay, a bit of contradiction, but alrighty then.

 

 

Collins, 30

He’s from Midlothian, Virginia and his arms are massive and he has an intense (scary?) wide smile.

There’s nothing much I can find on this dude besides his Instagram account or a couple of weightlifting training videos. So, yea, my first impression doesn’t bode well from that. Although it seems like his grandparents were in the hospital four weeks ago, right before he left for ABC quarantine. I do hope everything will be okay, because my stomach would be in knots every day I’m on a reality show knowing something could happen back home while I’m on the opposite coast.

***Not listed on cast bios**

 

Dale, 31, Former Pro Football Wide Receiver

He’s from Brandon, South Dakota, and is that a first for the show?? He seems nice and normal. While his IG is private, turns out he’s VERIFIED already. He’s actually a former NFL player and now is a model and a host, plus an ambassador for the Special Olympics. He’s giving me Clay vibes but like I’d actually root for him. That smile and he doesn’t seem too cocky, just the right amount of normal. Yea, I’m on his team. If Clare doesn’t pick him, can he be the Bachelor lead after Matt James? I’d watch that season.

Can We Just: His favorite game is Hungry Hungry Hippos, well, I didn’t know that.

 

 

Demar, 26, Spin Cycling Instructor

Hey, look a baby for the class! He’s from San Diego and I just get a feeling that he’s still in that party, going out stage of life. Based on his IG, I was a little nervous about the @djfromsocal handle, that he’d be a tool or a cocky DJ but it’s just his initials. He’s educated with a Bachelors and a Masters. Yay, we stan driven contestants! Except hold your horses, his bio advertises something called the Madison, which is a “Party on a Bike: partying you won’t regret the next day.” Oof, I retract my previous affirmative stance. Oh, and he models too. Ugh.

Can We Just: Dream job is a DJ on the Vegas Strip. Cough cough, wrong reasons.

 

Ed, 36, Healthcare Salesman

Age-appropriate, yes. But, geez, his arms. They are massive and the veins are popping out. Good lord. So clearly, this Pittsburgh guy works out a lot. I can’t seem to find any other deets on this dude, but my gut is saying no. I’m getting like a Chad meets Jed vibe, which is like the biggest red flag EVER.

Can We Just: He loves all-inclusive resorts, so I guess this is the perfect season for him, huh?

 

 

 

Ellis, 26

Oh, look at lil’ ginger baby Ellis. The 26-year-old from Libertyville, Illinois has quite the baby face, which hinders me from seeing him as someone ready for marriage and a lifetime commitment. You know, Ellis, it’s hard to stalk, erm you know, research you when your name is the same as a street in your town. Gah, whatevs for now.

His IG presence is private, yet gives me a first and last name so I can find out his LinkedIn deets and previous college basketball record. Lol and in case you were wondering, I’m third connections with the Dallas-living sales executive hahahaha.

**Not listed on cast bios**

Garin, 34, Professor of Journalism

Age is definitely in the right zone with this Fort Lauderdale, Florida dude. Giving me Kenny vibes from Rachel’s season. They look alike in the faces.

Based on his IG bio, Garin is an Emmy-nominated journalist who writes for THISISRNB.com, and is also a host, director, and professor at USC. He’s a freelancer in LA, but hey, same state as Clare. It does say he’s a “nice guy finishing first,” which okay, hun, I can roll with that.

Can We Just: Also, he’s a part-time DJ!

 

Gary, 29

He’s from Cleveland, Ohio, and seems like a professional. Also, the provided Facebook photo looks blurry and I can’t tell much else. Have no strong opinion on him with a blurry photo and no social clues to search.

**Not listed on cast bios**

 

 

Ivan, 28, Aeronautical Engineer

This Dallas guy seems fine, a bit basic. Meh. And definitely on the skinnier side. He’s an engineer, as it said on his private IG’s bio. We’re also third connections on LinkedIn, LOL, but he’s wearing a cute pair of glasses in his headshot and he definitely needs to wear those full time. Glasses can make most guys more attractive. What, it’s true.

Can We Just: “Recovered Croc Enthusiast” should have been his career. Tsk, tsk, producers.

 

 

 

Jason, 31, Former Pro Football Lineman

They are really delivering on the age thing, which thank god. He’s from Rutland, Vermont, and is he our first one? He’s got some large ink on his bicep, so we’ll see what Clare thinks of that. But, he seems genuine and honest, like he’s looking for something real. I’d vote for him to get a couple of roses from Clare.

Another verified Insta dude for Clare. His bio reads, “A regular at Wegmans buffet line and WaWa. URI alum. Former fat guy for the NFL/CFL player.” So, we’ve got another former footballer. He seems basic but a good friend and family guy, which bonus points, man.

Can We Just: He can have fun anywhere he goes. Hm, I’d like to test that, sir, because actually any situation is the question I have for you.

Jay, 29, Fitness Director

He’s from Langhorne, Pennsylvania, and seriously he’s like a Tyler C. clone. I cannot unsee it. Apparently, he’s private on Insta with no real bio and ick, I get bro-y vibes based on his profile photo.

Can We Just: PT, blech. Also, he calls every Drake song a “banger.” So, there’s that.

 

 

 

 

Jeremy, 40, Banker

What? They actually found someone in their forties?? Gobsmacked. He’s from Virginia Beach and aside from the weird Facebook photo seems normal-ish. They better not send him to Paradise with the 20-year-olds from Peter’s season, please no.

His Insta tells me nothing, legit nothing. Just that it’s the same guy because his headshot looks like him, and oh, that he has a little line or something tattooed on his arm. Oh, turns out, he’s got a real job. Score one.

Also, he hates Insta models and his love language is witty banter, so I’m on TEAM JEREMY. Well, for T*****, because Clare rumors.

Can We Just: The producers literally mentioned he’s the oldest contestant ever on the show, so eye roll.

Joe, 36, Anesthesiologist

Dr. Joe! He’s from North Woodmere, New York, and just seems decent and like he’d be mature.

Thanks to a local news article, they’ve already dug up this dirt on this suitor. He’s an anesthesiologist, which like, a real grown-up job! IDK if Clare’s gonna fancy him but he seems like a stable, mature contender.

Can We Just: He fought and survived COVID. Hero status. And he hates girls who litter. Just a good guy. Just going to leave this here: “He once was voted Top 20 Most Eligible Doctors and Medical Professionals in New York City.”

 

Jordan C., 26, Software Account Executive

He’s from Southington, Connecticut, and he’s got glasses. A four-eyed friend! I think that’s a show first? You know, someone wearing more than just readers in the early hours?

Based on his IG, I’m definitely getting bro vibes. Oh yea, that’s for sure. He’s a big sports guy apparently, which like join the club, man. Meh, nothing else noteworthy to report.

Can We Just: Wants a girl to go to the gym with, man, oh buddy, just when your glasses were starting to win me over…

 

 

Jordan M., 30, Cyber Security Engineer

Geez, how many Jordans too? He’s from Deerborn, Michigan, but there’s something about his vibe that I don’t 100 percent trust right away. He just looks menacing and like he’s mean-mugging. I wish he’d smile, then I could get a better vibe/read off of him.

Different from his mean mug photo, his LinkedIn looks more personable and friendly. Meh, not bad. His official cast photo also looks way better.

Can We Just: His favorite Sunday activity is cleaning, he’s already a winner!

 

Josh, 31

I swear, there’s something in this Minneapolis, Minnesota-based dude’s face that reminds me of a guy that lived on my dorm floor my freshman year of college. Well, I cannot unsee that now. But, dimples alert! OK, back to the real him. He seems normal and basic, a bit too slick, I think. Also, another man with a legit job. Thank god. His Insta claims he’s a doggy dad, and his doggo Kingsley is a precious lil pooch. I mean, he’s a cutie doggy.

**Not listed on cast bios**

 

 

Karl, 33

I’m pretty sure this Miami guy lives in a high-rise, or at least has a friend in one that lets him take photos there. He also has massive arms.

While his IG is private, I’m getting bad vibes because he put a freaking rose emoji next to his name! Like, he wants to be recognized from the show. No no no! #NoMoreWannabeInfluencers. Aside from that, he’s a speaker and a “success coach” who’s founded his own firm and passionate about that, which you do you, hun.

**Not listed on cast bios**

 

Kenny, 39, Boy Band Manager

Nope, buh-bye. This dude from Oaklawn, Illinois gives me so many red flags, from the muscle tank, tattoo sleeves, shiny forehead (one word: skincare!), huge muscles, and a gelled-up hairstyle. Please, don’t do it, Clare. Consider this my official warning for you. Also, you know this photo was ripped straight from his Tinder profile.

According to his IG, he’s got a bad-boy-looking headshot and he’s a talent buyer, a “band maker,” and a model. GAH, why why why. Also, would like to point out that Chris Harrison has presumably admitted that he saw Kenny naked on the show, so, um just gonna leave that there and run.

Can We Just: He hates cheese, just … just leave right now, sir.

Mike, 38, Digital Media Advisor

Okay, I like this guy from Calgary in Canada. He seems sweet and kind, has nice hair, and a lovely smile. Ohh, Canada. I hope slick former fiance Benoit doesn’t spring to her mind when she meets him. But, I really like this one.

I swear, no critiques here because he’s my top pick and sorta reminds me of Tanner Tolbert, just like a wholesome and nice guy type. His IG doesn’t reveal anything. Wait, noooo, he apparently has a profesh Insta as a “Digital Media Content Creator” with a website that doesn’t exist. Shit, I hope he’s not here to build a brand. Crap, I need him to be a good one and prove my picker is not broken.

Can We Just: He’s a Shania Twain fanboy, haha, yas. We love to see ’em embrace the fangirl life.

Montel, 30

He’s from Hingham, Massachusetts, and has a lovely, very white smile. Almost, distractedly so, like blinding. And damn, he’s a personal trainer. Big into fitness and lifting weights, which makes sense because arms, but like, pass.

**Not listed on cast bios**

 

 

 

 

Noah, 25

Oh, here’s our little baby of the group! In fact, that’s literally his Insta handle. He’s from Tulsa, Oklahoma, and is definitely here to head to Paradise to meet either Hannah Ann, Madison, or Hannah Brown. Guaranteed.

So, he’s a travel nurse, which like good for him. And apparently, he’s got a twin. In case you wanted to know. He’s um, very religious and kinda preachy.

**Not listed on cast bios**

 

 

Page, 37, Chef

I’m getting Evan Bass vibes from this Sante Fe, New Mexico guy. I just, but you know, it all worked out for Evan in the end. So, I’m keeping my mouth shut on that. Also, he has a lot of tats and a weird Evan-like slicked-back hairdo. Definitely an artsy, hipster vibe.

Hold the phone, he’s a chef? And like, an acclaimed one at that. Damn, can we get a cooking date? Please, ABC? Also, he’s one of the two single dads this year.

Can We Just: He likes both pizza and caviar, just not together. Um, well, duh.

 

Peter, 32

Another perfect-looking Peter here! Is that a rule or something, like if you name your kid Peter then he has to be perfect-looking?? #PerfectPeterStrikesAgain. He’s from Everett, Massachusetts, and just wow, that is so much physical beauty, objectively. He’s clean-shaven and his hair is coiffed to perfection, different from many of these rugged, tatted-up guys he’ll be living in the resort with.

Professionally, he’s a real estate advisor and very confident in his profesh accomplishments. Like, I can’t look at him because he’s just like too handsome.

**Not listed on cast bios**

 

Riley, 30, Attorney

I just love this Detroit lad’s name. Also he seems down-to-earth and normal. He seems approachable, friendly, and chill. Like he’d have your back. No further deets to report other than he’s got a real job and multiple degrees. He seems decent like he’s here to find love, but is also a decent friend to the guys. Good on you, hun.

Can We Just: He “knows all the lyrics to ‘Call Me Maybe'” which, um is that impressive or embarrassing?

 

 

 

Robby, 31, Insurance Broker

I’m getting Blake E meets Tickle Monster vibes for this man from St. Pete Beach, Florida. IDK what it is, but yea, it’s there. And meh, not much of a fan. Also, seriously questioning the photographer’s skills because it’s framed poorly.

I’m getting all sorts of bro vibes from his Insta, which like I’m gonna pass on this one. He was a frat bro and works for what I assume is a family company which like, is that good family values or nepotism, IDK. Also, he’s a model who cites his biggest accomplishment as posing for GQ mag, so there’s that. Cough cough, wrong reasons.

Can We Just: According to Chris Harrison, Nick Viall referred him to the show. LOLOLOL I need more answers.

Spencer, 30

This dude from La Jolla, California looks like Trevor from Listen to Your Heart. Very visually pleasing physically and wow, what a busy and distracting shirt. But, like piercing eyes. I mean, piercing, wow.

And we’ve got another bro out here! His Insta tells that story all too well. But with only sixty posts, I can’t get too much of a read on him.

**Not listed on cast bios**

 

 

 

Tien, 36

He’s from Great Neck, New York, and quite the skinny dude. But, also dimples. This coloring of this photo looks like one of the OBC of Hamilton‘s star portraits of the Schuyler sisters in the sepia tone. Can’t unsee that one.

No Insta, but a real job. So definite benefits and someone who doesn’t wanna be an influencer.

**Not listed on cast bios**

 

 

Tyler C., 27, Lawyer

Another Tyler C.?? He’s from Gassaway, West Virginia, and just seems like a basic, muscly guy. Totally average Bach suitor, for sure.

While he used to be a professional boxer, now he’s an attorney. Which, like, yay, real job alert! Ohhh tea time, Chris Harrison says right off the bat on Night One, he’s got some dirt on another dude and reveals it. I can’t wait.

Can We Just: A Matthew McConaughey stan. Well, I’m not sure why you admitted that you are a Stan.

 

 

Tyler S., 36, Music Manager

Tyler No. 2 is here, y’all! He’s from Dallas and went to the same high school as Chris Harrison. He has a lil’ baby face, so he looks a lot younger. Apparently, his brother is Granger Smith, a country singer? Hm, need to do more digging on this. Yea, and he’s also his bro’s manager and a proud uncle. Thank you, detailed Insta bios. So, I’m sensing like a Jordan Rodgers vibe. He’s cute, seems normal and friendly. Yea, I can see something happening with Clare and some chemistry. But, LOL, could they get his bro to sing on a date for them? Even if it’s just over Zoom! I mean, he manages him, so wouldn’t it be his job to bring this chance to his brother, I mean, client?? Aww sweetie, because Chris Harrison called him well-liked and so polite. Aww.

Can We Just: His mom has to approve any girl he dates … by looking at said girl’s Instagram. Um, okay???

Uzoma “Eazy”, 29, Sports Marketing Agent

He’s from Dallas and is suave. I just get Lincoln vibes, which I hope not, because he was gross. And oh dear old, yet another former NFL player who’s verified on Insta?? I mean, sure he’s good-looking but IDK if he’s right for Clare, ya know?

He’s looking for a queen, which aww, but also, hmm is that a line, sir? Also, he’s seen every episode of Grey’s Anatomy, which, like good taste. But, I see you sneaky ABC producers, trying to link the show page to this one…

Can We Just: “No one hypes Eazy up better than himself.” ‘Nuff said.

 

Yosef, 30, Medical Device Salesman

He’s from Mobile, Alabama, and I’m getting model vibes. But also, what does his accent sound like? I need to know. But, I swear if this isn’t a modeling photo. Because that’s all I see here.

I can’t get a good read on him. His IG is private, save for his profile photo which is him with a cute little girl, which is presumably his daughter or niece or sister or something. Confirmed, his daughter, a 4-year-old called Zara. So, family’s a priority, I guess. Which, like that’s nice. But oh man, he also gets into drama this season, ugh.

Can We Just: “As a kid, Yosef loved his Velcro sneakers.” That’s the fun fact Adult Yosef is gonna go with?

 

Zac C., 36, Addiction Specialist 

Oh, I like him and can see him going far. He’s from Haddonfield, Pennsylvania, and just seems normal and authentic. Ok, Team Zac C. for now.

Can’t tell much but apparently he’s got a nice, emotional backstory, so he’ll likely appear when the show airs. He’s overcome a lot and aww, I hope he gets the love story he deserves. “Tremendous story. Great guy,” according to Chris Harrison.

Can We Just: He’s a sneakerhead. Oh lord, why are we admitting that?

 

 

Zach J., 37, Cleaning Service Owner

He’s from Yakima, Washington, which reminds me of iCarly. Hey, I’m a young Millennial! Big guy with big, veiny arms, tight tees, and hair that sticks straight up.

He’s got his hands deep in his pockets! Which of course reminds me of the camp song “Turtle Song” about the turtle with his hands in his pockets and his pockets in his pants? Sorry, my brain is weird. So, now I’ll be singing that every time I see Zach on screen this season.

Back to Zach, he’s a business owner and values his family, which thank ya, Instagram. Oh, yea, his company as already promoted his Bach appearance. Cool beans, Mr. Wannabe Influencer. Apparently, He has an explosive Night One entrance that earns him a nickname that sticks. Yikes.

Can We Just:  He once broke his nose walking into a glass door. Hahahaha, I mean, thanks for the laugh, but I don’t get why you feel the need to share that Mr. I Hate Jazz Music But Am Obsessed With Chapstick.

And that’s the ball game! What did you think of Clare’s official 31 guys and who will earn the First Impression Rose or steal her heart? And more importantly, will things be less dramatic and more earnest so I’ll want to keep watching? Also, are the rumors all true, and if so, what is in store coming up this season of the “most dramatic” season of The Bachelorette??

14 Books I Could Re-Read Over and Over Again

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Sure, I have a long TBR and a completely full bookshelf (so full that I just had to purchase another shelf because I have too many books), but sometimes you just want to read something comforting. Something that you loved so much and connected to so much, that you just have to re-read it. Hey, it happens.

So, here’s a list of some of the books from my bookshelf to yours that I could just read again and again and never tire of the story.

Four Days of You And Me by Miranda Kenneally

As I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve been reading other books by Miranda Kenneally for years, so drawn to the strong characterizations, friendships, and of course HEA and love stories. And her latest YA novel has not disappointed me. It’s teeming with dramatics, yet feels grounded and relatable, and I love it no matter how many times I restart it.

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Meet You in the Middle by Devon Daniels

I’ve legit read my digital ARC some 3-4 times in completion by now, and then just the HEA an additional 2-3 times when I want to feel that level of comfort all over again. This romance novel is just that cute, yet grounded. A slow-burn can be hard to feel connected to, but Kate and Ben’s quick-witted, feisty, and playful banter makes it delicious. That, and you can’t keep me from a good enemies-to-lovers book; that makes the inevitable romance so much more earned and justified by the time the HEA does happen. I just can’t wait to order a physical copy, so I can read this story an additional ten more times.

Read The Book: Available beginning May 4, 2021

 

The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan

Gimme a royal romance book any day of the week and I’ll devour it. This book and its sequel have everything I love: regal characters, a sweeping romcom-worthy love story, and London as a setting. It’s basically Prince William and Kate Middleton’s love story but fictionalized, as if she was American. And I love it — every single time I pick it up off my shelf for a reread. Both books are so full of drama and emotion, which like, it has everything I want in a book.

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Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld

This book is a modern-day retelling of Pride and Prejudice, so right off the bat, it’s already intriguing. There’s a slew of interesting characters, and it still feels new and current, even if many of the stories are based on a classic. Plus, Liz and Darcy eventually discover they have feisty back-and-forth banter that’ll translate very well into crazy, unexplainable chemistry. Even though the page count may seem daunting, I’ve still managed to polish off a reread in a single day.

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The Trouble With Hating You by Sajni Patel

Seriously, re-reading this gave me all of the zings and goosebumps, even more than the first time. Like, every time I read this, and Jay and Liya realize their feelings, I swear, I can feel my heart beating so loud. This romance read is sweeping, romantic, and adorable. It’s hard to resist.

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Act Like a Lady by the LadyGang

The hosts and besties behind the “LadyGang” podcast wrote this advice-filled, self-help, and humorous guidebook about what it means to be a woman in the twenty-first century. It’s a fun yet relatable book essays that’ll inspire just about any girl to rise up and be a powerful force to be reckoned with. From taking on lessons with dating, friendship, career, self-confidence, and more, it’s all the message we all need to hear more. It’s empowering as heck and something most women should have in their arsenal to remember. These pearls of wisdom make a perfect coffee table book for any millennial apartment. You can read this in a day, you can read it again and again because it’s evergreen, it’s timely, it’s what you just need to hear every once and a while. 

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One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London

I loved this ARC so much, I had to preorder the hardcopy in advance of its pub day. It’s the exact type of women’s fiction novels that I love. It’s so refreshing, endearing, authentic, sweeping, and just tons of fun. It tackles the world of The Bachelor if they’d cast more body positive and diverse contestants, and that’s all we want, ABC; it’s real life. All. We. Want. Anyway, this book is funny and witty; equal parts empowering, glamorous, and indulgent and I was so drawn in by the entire premise and plot twists.

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No Offense by Meg Cabot

It’s such a fun read, and one I couldn’t put down while I devoured each chapter of my ARC. Now, that it’s officially out to the world, I can’t wait to get my hands on a hard copy and fall in love with this bookish romance. Leads John and Molly have such a bright spark between the two of them, and like, wowza, I’m obsessed and just have stars in my eyes. There’s romance, friendship, small-town gossip, and a big mystery full of intrigue; it has everything!

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By the Book by Julia Sonneborn

I’ve re-read this bookish romance countless times since I first grabbed it off of a Barnes & Noble shelf years ago. It’s just completely precious and enduring. This novel isn’t too cheesy-romantic, but feels honest, realistic, and current. Like, for any book nerds out there, there’s one of the most sweeping romantic scenes in this book — and it happens twice! Plus, Adam builds Anne her dream library, which makes me melt even more.

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You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle

The second I finished this ARC, on a one-way plane ride, I knew I had to order a hardcopy. To which, I re-read in a single day when it arrived. It’s not any ordinary romance, because it starts out just the opposite. But, with time and pages, you get to see firsthand how Nick and Naomi slowly warm to each other again as accomplices, teammates, best friends, and lovers to become even stronger. It’s not a romance where you expect the lead couple to be together without any problems, but Nicholas and Naomi have to work for love and to open up, discovering who they are as individuals in the process. By the time they reclaim their love, it feels earned and justified. It’s well-written and intriguing and had me hanging onto every last word.

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Girl Gone Viral by Alisha Rai

As soon as I read this contemporary romance ARC, I was hooked. So, much so, that I had to preorder a physical copy the moment I finished it. I couldn’t put it down, any time I’ve re-started, it’s just so intriguing, fun, and squeal-worthy. Like, Kat has all the zings between her and Jas, and just from reading, so do I. I couldn’t stop smiling for one moment while reading; I was hooked from the very first page.

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Love York Life by Sophie Kinsella

The minute I finished this ARC, I was hooked. It’s a lighthearted, fun holiday romance slash opposites-attract love story. This book has such an engaging tone and perspective that keeps me reading into the wee hours of the morning, because Ava’s such a relatable lead and I need to find out what happens next. It’s a cute, steamy, fun, and indulgent holiday romance, that’s so fun and enjoyable to read that I finished in a single setting. Once the rose-colored glasses of their holiday romance wears off, neither of them want to split because they believe they are meant to be and this is real, despite being polar opposites in nearly every sense. Together, they’ve managed to expand each other’s views, and that’s real love: That you can accept that what you think isn’t the end-all-be-all that you think it might be, but rather that they could try something new and still accept one another. It’s not an easy love story, because, hey, life isn’t easy, and I think that’s why I loved it so much. It’s honest, vulnerable, and authentic. It’s funny, witty, romantic, emotional, and heartfelt. So many emotions in one book and that’s why I fell hard for this book. Wow, just incredible.

Read The Book: Available beginning October 27

Heiress Apparently (Daughters of the Dynasty) by Diana Ma

This was an unexpected five-star read that I still can’t stop thinking about, because I just want to start over and read again. It’s like Crazy Rich Asians meets American Royals, and since I loved both books, this was obviously a must. And every part of the text lives up to that. It’s a coming-home story and one of pursuing her dreams. Once Gemma meets her doppelganger cousin, she begins to discover a long-held family secret. This book is so intriguing, and if a full series is actually coming, then I CANNOT WAIT! The book is full of drama, secrets, dreams coming true, and it’s so captivating and engaging. It’s a meaningful story about a family’s bond. It’s more than just a YA story, it is so rich and wow, I loved it. Every single page, chapter, and character. 

Read The Book: Available beginning December 1

You Had Me at Hola by Alexis Daria

This is the absolute perfect summer beach read of the year, and I enjoyed devouring every single morsel of Jasmine and Ashton’s journey to love in my ARC. Readers are thrust into soap star Jasmine’s fast-paced Hollywood world immediately, and I’m captivated and just want to keep reading. Both telenovela star Ashton and Jasmine have their own complex backstories, which makes them so much more vulnerable, intriguing, and dynamic as characters. It’s a quick, indulgent telenovela-inspired romance read and I’m obsessed.

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10 Adorable New Reads That I’m Obsessing Over Right Now

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It’s a crazy, scary, fearful time we live in and sometimes it feels hard to move forward. One way I cope is obviously through reading, and um yea, I’ve been reading a lot. Like, one book every day or every other day. (Hey, it’s the only way to get through my 15+ TBR!) In between devouring the new Hunger Games book, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, (which I don’t dislike teen Snow, but I don’t exactly like him), about 12 more new ARCs (thanks a million, Netgalley!), and keeping up with my daily responsibilities, I’ve certainly found ways to stay busy. And now, I want to share that knowledge with all you, my lovely readers. And so, welcome back to Miranda’s Book Nook with a handful of my latest book recommendations that are perfect to keep you busy and engaged during this crazy, anxious, and uncertain time. I hope you pick ’em up and fall in love with these rich stories just as I have.

Times Like These by Laura Carter

It’s the story of four different yet close friends, almost like sisters: Hannah, Rosalie, Andrea, and Sofia. They are each at different points in their lives both professionally and personally, and the book does a good job of getting into each character’s mindset.

Each chapter is about a different girl and all are very descriptive in its language. There’s quite a bit of British slang/terms, which sure, makes sense considering the author and publisher, however, the characters are American, which makes these terms all the more confusing and feel out of place. Other than that, I couldn’t stop reading once I was in the depths of it. Sure each character has problems, but they are written with such vulnerability and emotions. Seeing this bond between the girls and the enduring power of friendship is heartwarming to read as these pals must figure out how they fit into each other’s different lives and if their bond is strong enough to survive their different and changing worlds.

Available: June 29

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London

FIVE-STAR READ ALERT! OK, I don’t know if I can fit into words everything I thought about this book because it was refreshing, endearing, honest, authentic, sweeping, and fun. I couldn’t put it down and absolutely adored it, hence my rating. Before I started reading, I was initially intrigued about seeing a plus-size, body positive lead of a romance/women’s fiction book coupled with the setting of a dating TV show ala The Bachelor. All in all, it was set to perfectly align with my reading habits. And boy, did this book deliver. 

The book followed plus-size fashion blogger Bea Schumacher, who becomes the new show lead of the hit Main Squeeze reality show after her tweets and blog post about the show’s lack of diversity goes viral. And after a major breakup that left her reeling, this is the perfect chance to get over that and up her brand all at once. While she claims she’s only here to promote better beauty messages and not to fall in love, things get complicated when she meets some dashing, charming suitors who may help her find the real-life HEA she didn’t know she was missing.

Think: The Bachelor with a lead who was body positive and proud, because hey that’s reality, darling. This book is funny and witty; equal parts empowering, glamorous, and indulgent. It’s very juicy, like I just kept exclaiming ‘OMG’ out loud, sorry not sorry; I’m so intrigued and hooked. Then, the “show” ending is bold yet confident, because hey, a woman doesn’t need a man and shouldn’t settle for anything. The actual book ending was absolutely precious and so darn cute, and besides, now I need a Bea+Asher follow-up like right now. This book should be required reading for any dating reality show producer, because this is what we want and need. The book’s language is so fun and relatable; I just wanted to keep reading and couldn’t put it down! It’s chock full of dramatic twists and turns, and I loved every page of it. The book is told through tweets, blogs, contracts, articles, scripts, Slack messages, and texts which help move the time frame along from episode-to-episode.

It’s for sure a five-star read from me because when I can’t put a book down and need to know more, it’s because I’m so invested and captivated by the storytelling. While the title is One to Watch, you know who is the real one to watch? Author Kate Stayman-London. If this book is any indication, then I can’t wait to see what future works she could deliver that are just as witty, unique, and fun.

Available: July 7

Hello, Again by Isabelle Broom

If you prefer a romance where everything ends neatly in a sugary sweet HEA, then this is not the book for you. It’s more of a women’s fiction novel with its ambiguous, open-ended conclusion. But that shouldn’t take away from this book’s merits, because everything about this feels authentic, realistic, and genuine. This book starts on the anniversary of Pepper’s sister’s death, which hits her and her mom hard every year. When her friend, local widow Josephine, asks her to come along on her European trip as a companion, it’s the perfect chance for Pepper to try something new and do something her sister always wanted. So, in a quite predictable yet adorable meet-cute, Pepper runs into the German-accented dreamboat Finn on her first day, and immediately he only has eyes for our colorfully dressed protagonist. She definitely believes in fate and true love at her core, and I can already tell it’ll be a fun holiday fling/romance from those early chapters.

The book follows their relationship across various cities and countries as they pursue a fast-paced relationship, the highs and the lows included. Finn is the perfect, sweet, admiring, and all-in love interest and while it’s charming, it feels a bit too perfect because there’s a big truth bomb on the horizon that’ll shake Pepper to her core. Once he reveals what’s going on, he immediately wants nothing to change and them to be okay, but it’s not just about them anymore, so that made me dislike him a tad, because I was starting to root for him.

So, obviously, there is some romance, but that part moves so quickly, and there’s a possibility that they won’t end up together by the time he drops his truth. Sure, he taught her to open up and be herself, but they do love each other and that’s all that should matter. Boo, that ending makes me sad because I wanted to invest in them together. Then, there’s an epilogue, but the two of them aren’t really addressed as the two of them, and like, I just want to know what happened to them. I mean, I hope hope hope that they found their way back to each other because his “first piece of love” title of her work may indicate that or if they both move on or if they never do. I just want more, more answers, more of the captivating story.

Available: July 9

A Sweet Mess by Jayci Lee

Within a few pages, I can already tell this book is shaping up to be a sugary-sweet romance, and it didn’t let me down. One thing is that the book switches perspective between Landon and Aubrey abruptly at a new paragraph, which is confusing at first. Also, the timeline abruptly jumps in places, which this swap is too sudden and out of nowhere mid-chapter. But, all in all, it’s a fun and indulgent romance read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It gets juicy and dramatic, and I’m loving it!

In the book, Aubrey Choi is happy running her successful bakery Comfort Zone and doesn’t need dating to fill her days. She has her business and baked goods to keep her busy. Then, enter the gorgeous stranger Landon Kim. After a one-night-stand, maybe it’s time for Aubrey to reevaluate her priorities? Well, it turns Landon is a celebrity food critic and he published a scathing review of her bakery that may just ruin her business and the thoughtful memories of their night together. Once Landon realizes, ‘Oh crap, I just panned the girl I like’s business and the order I had was actually a custom cake for a child and not meant for me,’ he seeks a way to clean up his mess without mucking up his reputation. So, he offers her a spot on a new celeb cooking show that he’s producing. She agrees for the positive press, but soon the two of them are all alone in a California villa in wine country for three whole week. And yes, all that chemistry is certainly a recipe for something.

The two protagonists have such an undeniable chemistry that it made the read so engaging in this slow-burn, friends-to-lovers book. I couldn’t put this book down; It’s just an enjoyable, indulgent, and cute love story. The character of Aubrey is so raw and vulnerable, it’s real and makes it more appealing and authentic as a reader. It’s chock full of twists and turns, yet turns out to be pretty darn cute; absolutely precious. Then, when Landon has realized he’s been a total idiot at the end, it’s such a sweeping and swoon-worthy HEA. This story was so emotional, it just had my entire heart. All that raw, real emotion makes the HEA earned, justified, better, and cuter.

Since the book’s release, it was announced that actor Daniel Dae Kim will produce and star in a film adaptation. While we don’t have further details, now I really, really, really need to see him as Landon eating and choking on that PB, Chocolate, and Gummy Worm custom cake. I need that scene, and I will laugh.

Available: July 14

More Than Maybe by Erin Hahn

First off, I love a good British love interest, so this book got started on the right foot with all the slang. The book’s casual language feels authentic and relatable, even through its dual perspectives.  Luke and Vada are cut from the same cloth and a perfect match in this slow burn, cute Young Adult romance.

Our two protagonists of this book are podcaster and shy songwriter Luke and ambitious music blogger Vada. Luke’s been living in the shadow of his punk rocker dad’s spotlight, his outgoing twin brother Cullen. But he has a major secret: he’s been big-time crushing on Vada and always finds a way to stalk her blog, and just yearns for a way to chat with her. Meanwhile, Vada’s the girl with the big dreams to get into an amazing college program for music journalism, manage her mom’s boyfriend’s local music venue/bar, and get a dream internship. Falling for Luke was certainly not part of her plan, but hey, we are where we are. They have so much in common and when Cullen releases a new track of his brother singing a love song about a mystery girl, maybe she wishes it was about her. And perhaps, Luke feels the same???

It’s a quick, fun, and engaging read that you can polish off in a single setting. It’s a sugary-sweet, slow-burn romance that I couldn’t put down. By the end, it’s so darn cute and very enjoyable to read. Just like her first book, You’d Be Mine, author Erin Hahn perfectly melds the music world with teen romance for such an adorable YA read. Awww. But, I definitely think I preferred this book over You’d Be Mine. Everything just felt so authentic and genuine.

Available: July 21

The Switch by Beth O’Leary

This was a super-sweet, comforting novel for such a weird, strange, and scary time in this world. It focuses on the two Eileens, a grandmother and a granddaughter and their special bond. During a time where each woman is at during this crossroads in their life, both need a break and plan to swap lives and cities, just like the movie The Holiday. Before the swap, the book moves very slowly and every action is long and drawn out with each chapter feeling way too long. But soon enough, the pacing quickens and I got wrapped up in the storyline.

We follow overachiever Leena Cotton who takes a two-month sabbatical at her grandma Eileen’s cozy cottage in Yorkshire after she blows a massive presentation at work. Meanwhile, her 80-year-old grandma is looking for a second chance at love after her husband left her. Since there are more options in London, her granddaughter suggests a switch. While Eileen wines and dines across London and experiences casual dating, Leena heads off to the country to look after her grandmother’s local neighborhood projects and her cottage.

So, my issues with Leena start almost instantly. How can Leena be so insistent to help Betsy with her abusive S.O., yet she’ll believe her cheating boyfriend over her beloved grandma?? Like, no girl, you need to cut him loose: he doesn’t deserve you. Thank god for the ending, phew. 

Eileen’s parts read as far more engaging, she’s so vibrant and fun, and I loved it. Plus, there’s not really a conflict for most of the book, things sort of just happened. Leena wasn’t exactly my favorite protagonist because she didn’t exactly know who she was or saw that nothing wrong with her always-working life or cheating boyfriend. Eileen’s spirit, free and kind, was much more engaging and interesting. Also, Rachel Brosnahan is slated to star in the film adaptation and IDK, but like, surely she’ll be Leena, which isn’t as an interesting part, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see how that’ll shake out. But, in the end, it was an adorable, comforting read.

Available: August 18

Far From Normal by Becky Wallace

It’s the story of a new intern at a posh Chicago sports marketing agency, and a classic fish-out-of-water tale. Maddie is the typical YA protagonist of a normal, All-American, awkward girl but she’s very driven to succeed and follow her passions.

The book uses captivating language, that you really feel for Maddie’s point of view and it’s easy to get sucked in. Soon, intern Maddie is tasked with managing Italian, bad boy soccer star Gabe’s social media, a guy who she’s already had an embarrassing (for her) yet flirty exchange with days prior. He’s the bad boy and it’s up to her to keep him on the straight and narrow path. As we go on, fellow intern Mara is the vindictive office nemesis, which I’m not a fan of this storyline because women need to champion other women. (How in the heck can we shatter glass ceilings if we are too busy fighting and being catty and petty for one seat at the preexisting table?? No, we should be working together to make more space.) So, that characterization irked me.

Overall, I couldn’t stop reading this fun, slow-burn YA romance between a regular girl and a superstar yet misunderstood athlete. Then, once Gabe starts to open up because he honestly likes her, you can see his walls tumble down and his raw, real self emerges just like any ordinary crush, and that’s the love interest I want to root for. It’s a quick read that you get so wrapped up in that you cannot put it down! By the ending, the story is very raw and vulnerable for Maddie, who realizes she can blaze her own trail and not follow anyone else’s.

I was hesitant to read based on the summary, but I took a chance on this book, which completely won me over with its authentic language, sweeping romance, and the vulnerable moment at the end where she’s forged her own path ahead without knowing the end result.

Available: September 22

In A Holidaze by Christina Lauren

A Groundhog’s Day-type holiday romance from the skilled romance mind of Christina Lauren that’s set in a cozy mountain cabin? Call me intrigued immediately. As I started to read, the background on the characters is unclear and just dives right into the story now. It starts with Mae, who visits a Park City, Utah cabin with her family and longtime family friends. So, immediately a love triangle starts when Mae kisses Theo, while she’s had a longtime crush on his brother Andrew. (Reader’s Note: Initially, the book lacked a clear character backstory, because it seemed like both Theo and Andrew were her cousins. Can confirm that they are not.) After a super embarrassing night and morning (I was legit cringing for her, eesh) and then a massive surprise threatens to change everything.

Soon after her mess of things and a horrific car accident, Mae enters a Groundhog’s Day-type of situation where she gets to relive the whole trip to the cabin and get it right. I don’t know, I don’t get the same vibe and interest as I did while reading The Honey Don’t List, meh there seems to be a lot happening and it’s unclear if it is a dream or she’s in a coma or something else. Everything seems so odd and out of context, but I can’t help but be so curious as to see what happens. The 300+ pages don’t feel so long because you get so entrenched in the story and just can’t put it down. 

With every injury and wrong turn, Mae gets a fresh chance to relive it and get things right. Eventually, she learns that change isn’t necessarily a bad thing and to stay true to herself as her reboots buck tradition and allow her to be her true self. In this new alternate timeline, her flirtmance with longtime crush Andrew is so cute, but like I just want to know more details about this time travel situation. Seriously, Andrew and Mae falling is having me believe in soulmates and fate and aww, it’s just precious. Their relationship (and book) starts off slowly and then, whew, things ramp up hot, hot, hot.  (I mean, that closet scene, ahem.) Oh wow, I’m so darn hooked and I cannot stop reading, I just need to finish the story and get resolution about so many things.

I thought this book would end up predictably with the actual reality being the car crash inspiring her to change her life, but no, her final re-done chance was real because she was true to herself, and ahhh that HEA. I loved that super-duper cute happily ever after, awww it’s everything. All in all, it was such a cute holiday romance read.

Available: October 6

This Time Next Year by Sophie Cousens

This book follows Quinn and Minnie, who meet on New Year’s Day in London, which also happens to be both their birthdays. It turns out while he’s always been lucky, she’s been unlucky, which her family attributes to having their lucky name choice (Quinn) stolen by a baby boy who was born on the same day at the same hospital. The story is told through flashbacks on different New Year’s Eves and New Year’s Days, and somehow Quinn and Minnie always ended up at the same place at the same time; as well as a present-day timeline that chronicles how things go since they officially met in 2019.

It’s such an engaging and fun story, I just want to know what’ll happen next. It’s an easy romance read to get wrapped up in, and I couldn’t put it down and ended up devouring it in one sitting. It even reads quickly for 400+ pages. In the book, it’s all about how fate kept entangling their lives from the beginning, so love seems inevitable. OK, it’s pretty darn cute from beginning to end. It’s just fun, sweet, and cute. Then, the ending is giving me all sorts of sweeping *zings* and feels that I could actually feel fluttering in my belly.

Available: October 15

Heiress Apparently (Daughters of the Dynasty) by Diana Ma

Another five-star read, coming at ya! This was such an unexpected yet thoroughly enjoyable YA read. It’s sort of Crazy Rich Asians meets American Royals, when American aspiring actress Gemma Huang books her first acting gig as the lead in an upcoming rom-com movie. The film, shooting on location in Beijing, is Gemma’s first experience in China and almost instantly, she’s mistaken for big-time influencer and heiress Alyssa Chua. Turns out, there’s more to the story and family secrets galore because Alyssa is her actually cousin and they are both descendants of royalty.

At first, we meet Gemma, who’s busy with auditions for toothpaste commercials and bit parts in a movie as the ex-girlfriend, and doing anything it takes to pay her rent and follow her dreams. She meets a gorgeous Asian-American boy and their romance was like cheesy cute, except he’s totally jealous of her immediate success in the field. (Buh-bye!) Her parents immigrated from China before she was born and haven’t gone back nor allowed her to visit, which adds a curious bit of mystery for Gemma’s backstory and the plot. This book reads quickly with its relatable tone and language. It’s a coming-home story and one of pursuing her dreams. Once Gemma meets her doppelganger cousin, she begins to discover a long-held family secret. This book is so intriguing, and if a full series is actually coming, then I CANNOT WAIT!

Of course, what YA contemporary book wouldn’t be complete with a sweeping romance? Enter Eric Liu, a college graduate who literally rescues Gemma from hoards of screaming fans, and also the grandson of her grandpa’s political rival. The book is full of drama, secrets, dreams coming true, and it’s so captivating and engaging. It’s a meaningful story about a family’s (and specifically that of sisters) bond in this coming-of-age and coming into one’s own story. It’s more than just a YA story, it is so rich and wow, I loved it. Every single page, chapter, and character. Now, where can I get some of Mimi’s fashion collection IRL???

Available: December 1

Advance reader copies of each book were provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Listening to My Gut and Critiquing the Cast of ‘Bachelor: Listen to Your Heart’

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The Bachelor is getting musical, y’all. Well, technically, they always have been based on who goes on this show but now they are fully embracing that with their latest spin-off, The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart. 

After the garbage fire that was Pilot Pete’s season (which I stopped watching after episode 2, sorry not sorry) and the shitstorm that is the anxiety-ridden news right now, we need something mindless to lift our spirits. Luckily, ABC is here to do that with the new spin-off, premiering this April. On the show, the cast will *cough cough* journey to find love through musically themed, romantic dates.

Before the show debuts, the network has released the official cast bios for the aspiring musicians, and true to form, I’m here to give my authentic (and likely snarky) first thoughts.

So, it’s time to listen to my heart gut (see what I did there?) and meet the cast.

Bekah, 25

Genre: Musical theater

OMG, finally us musical theater nerds get a bit of representation! According to her bio, she follows her dreams professionally where things are going well, in sharp contrast to her love life. Sound right on par for most contestants.

Can We Just: She hopped a fence, with her mother, to attempt to see Kim Kardashian’s house. And admitted that out loud? Saying she’s never been on a date, sure that’s fair considering the history of this show. But um ok then??

Brandon, 34

Genre: American folk pop

Gasp, someone over the age of 30! He’s a veteran who has found solace in music, so I feel like I can’t be too negative since that’s so lovely.

Can We Just: He once opened for Jason Derulo in Times Square. How? I wanna know more, Derulo’s a sharp contrast from folk-type music.

 

Bri, 28

Genre: Pop

She seems like a hopeless romantic, blah blah blah, how very sugary sweet.

Can We Just: Gluten allergy? That’s your fun fact?

 

 

Cheyenne, 23

Genre: R&B

Look, we have our baby of the class! She wants to find someone with “strong masculine energy,” okie dokie, good luck with that, hun.

Can We Just: LOL, her fun fact is that she’s never been to a nightclub before. Well, sure that tracks, she’s only been legal and able to get in for less than two years.

Chris, 30

Genre: Soul

Paging Adam Sandler, because we’ve got a wedding singer here! Blah blah, he’s passionate to pursue his musical dreams.

Can We Just: Nothing to report here, he seems normal and even used to work for UNICEF, participating in mission trips globally.

 

Danny, 26

Genre: Singer-songwriter

Yea, that tracks based on his headshot. Wow, he has 1 million online followers. What, is that supposed to impress me? Or any girl looking for love? Like, he just looks like he has heartbreak written all over him. Nope, just nope.

Can We Just: He beatboxes too. Pass.

 

 

Gabe, 28

Genre: Soul/ folk

An all-american, Texas boy walks into the mansion… and that’s all I have so far.

Can We Just: Custom stationary. Can I get proof??? (LOL, I love papers, I wanna see!!)

 

Jack, 38

Genre: Country

Yee-haw, how long did it take to find a country artist for this show?? OK, he’s a single father who is looking for a partner to share a future with. That’s nice.

Can We Just: He “has a necklace tattoo in case he ever forgets his real necklace.” No.

Jamie, 21

Genre: Pop country

Scratch what I said earlier, she is our baby of the class! Sweet and fun-loving, apparently, but I get Hannah Ann vibes here. Gulp, here we go again.

Can We Just: The only thing she wants is for a guy to serenade her. That’s it? All you want, sweetie?

 

Josh, 31

Genre: Country and pop

Meh. Divorced, lives in Nashville, trying to make it. I feel like I’ve heard this one before.

Can We Just: Singing. Uber. Driver.

 

 

Julia, 27

Genre: Pop

Could they only find girls that were pop singers or something??

Can We Just: “She cannot wait to meet her husband!” Wow, a little strong there?

 

Mariana, 23

Genre: R&B and pop

Apparently she looks sweet, but has some spice. Oy, that means drama is coming. Ladies, best not stand in her way when it comes to a guy she likes.

Can We Just: Meh, nothing that interesting here.

 

Matt, 32

Genre: Neo-soul

What a shock, he caught “the bug” when we was young and moved to LA.

Can We Just: His “longest relationship has been with his beard.” I just.

 

 

Mel, 27

Genre: Indie rock

She dislikes the modern dating world and dating apps, which, don’t we all, hun. Don’t we all.

Can We Just: She “used to skip class to watch John Mayer videos,” which like, you couldn’t do that after or before classes??

 

Michael Todd, 31

Genre: Singer-songwriter

You know, he’s got a brand to consider when we get his full name. Didja know, he has a single that’s gotten 100,000+ plays on Spotify? Definitely here for his brand. Oy, please tell me he’s not another Jed; I won’t make it the full season!

Can We Just: “The man with two first names” is “the life of the party.” Blech, pass.

Natascha, 33

Genre: Pop

An international pop star, huh? Can you match the success of one Lizzie McGuire and Isabella duo??

Can We Just: She named one of her dogs “Frou Frou.” No joke.

 

 

Ruby, 25

Genre: Indie pop

Country girl, fiddle player, meh nothing else to report.

Can We Just: She’s “performed for all five living U.S. presidents.” Um, my dear, that is what we call a humble brag.

 

Rudi, 24

Genre: R&B and pop

Her hobby is napping, well, you got me there. Naps are great. Just ask Corinne.

Can We Just: “She knows that she has a crazy side,” and she’s volunteering that information to prospective dates and the whole world?

 

Russell, 26

Genre: American folk

An Indiana boy who moved to the Big Apple to pursue his dreams. Very typical.

Can We Just: He’s a knife-throwing instructor. Seriously, don’t wanna get on his bad side.

 

Alright, there you have it, folks. Well, see ya in April, Bach Nation, as we see if this can live up to the Bachelor hype we’ve come to love to hate.

First Impressions on the Women Vying for Roses on ‘The Bachelor’

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In case you’ve been living under a rock and missed the news that ABC crowned its new Bachelor leading man as soon as the Paradise beach closed for the season, to absolutely no one’s surprise, it’s Peter. Peter Weber, aka Pilot Pete from Hannah Brown’s most recent Bachelorette season, is a Delta airline pilot ready to take his own flight for love as the new leading man. Can you say “on the wings of love… part two??

Not that Pilot Pete isn’t swoonworthy, sweet, and full of, ahem, stamina, but we’ve had twenty-something seasons of Peters in previous years, and I’m bored. Why couldn’t we have just had Mike?? Or Wills? Gosh, ABC I’m still not over it. (And to the human who told me to my face that Mike got “too boring” after Paradise for the gig, SHAME ON YOU.)

Anyway, like the trash TV viewer I am, I’m still going to watch it. And since the January 2020 premiere date is just around the corner, the network has revealed the cheesy and funny cast bios of the women clamoring for a chance to be Peter’s copilot on this journey of love. Get ready as I reveal my honest first impressions of these influencers-in-training before they step out of the limo on TV this winter.

Alayah, 24

We’ve got our first beauty queen of the season, y’all! She may be Miss Texas now, but it took her four times to win. Maybe four times in Bach Nation is her next calling?? Apparently drama is coming with “familiar faces from her past [resurfacing].” Oy, have we not suffered enough from Hannah B. V. Caelynn??

Can We Just (A new feature where I break down something I just cannot believe a human being has said.): Her favorite social media platform is Reddit. Like, is that still a thing?

 

Alexa, 27

We’ve got a normie! By that I mean, she looks completely normal, like a real person with a sensible moral compass. She may have trouble being vulnerable, so I have a feeling her biggest hurdle to overcome is herself.

Fellow book nerd, FTW!

Can We Just: She moved to a brand-new city through a coin flip. Was that how she applied for this show too? Heads for Bach or Tails for Love Island?

 

Avonlea, 27

I kid you not, she’s actually a cattle rancher. But also a model, because, naturally. Her parents first met when her mom was a flight attendant. Which means, get your Bach bingo card ready for air travel references!! Hello, On the Wings of Love Part II.

Can We Just: “Every time she milks one of her cows, she thanks it for its hard work.” Marie Kondo approved.

 

 

 

Courtney, 26

After two failed relationships this Floridian is looking for a man and her soulmate. She really likes tanning, which like look at her photo; I get it.

Can We Just: Her biggest turn-on is a man in cowboy boots. Like the biggest? Most important quality?

 

 

 

 

Deandra, 23

She’s independent yet really likes to be the center of attention. Well, hun, someone wants to be the Bachelorette right?? Despite being fiercely independent, she still needs a man to kill a spider for her. Very interesting.

Can We Just: Her family has already set aside a seat for Peter at their holiday table just in case she wins. Oops?

 

 

 

Eunice, 23

We’ve got a flight attendant! A reformed sorority party girl, who’s left that lifestyle in the past. I mean, you’ve since graduated college, geez, I would hope so.

Can We Just: Her signature dance moves is the “ponytail helicopter.” What the F is that?

 

 

 

 

Hannah Ann, 23

Serious Hannah G. vibes from this country-girl turned model. Artsy, talkative. Ohhh do I get Alabama Hannah vibes actually?

Can We Just: She’s volunteering to the boy she wants to date (and other future boys she’ll date in Bach Nation) that she lives at home still. Bold choice.

 

 

 

 

Jade, 26

Here we go, y’all. Our second flight attendant of the season. Which air hostess will make the better first impression pun about their shared career in the sky?

Can We Just: She’s a flight attendant yet is very afraid of heights. Like.

 

 

 

Jasmine, 25

Another book nerd, hey, welcome aboard! She seems genuine, normal, and ready to find a husband and start popping out Bach Nation babies. I have a feeling we’ll see her in Paradise this summer.

Can We Just: The man of her dreams will help her build a table. That’s your benchmark goal? Uhhhh, alrighty then.

 

 

 

Jenna, 22

We have our baby of the class! A down-to-Earth Midwesterner who really takes her trivia nights seriously.

Can We Just: Her pet goldfish gives her advice? Is he magic??

 

 

 

 

Katrina, 28

#TheLastSingleGirl or that’s at least how this pro dancer feels in her circle. A cat lady who’s big into Aladdin and Princess Jasmine. Ashley I. vibes, anyone??

Can We Just: she dressed her cat up as her for Halloween, and she dressed up as the cat. Dead serious.

 

 

 

 

Kelley, 27

Seriously, Andi Dorfman is that you?? We’ve got a doppelgänger with this attorney. A focused lawyer with high standards who won’t settle. You Go Girl. I wouldn’t be mad to watch her journey continue in Paradise.

Can We Just: She’s allergic to black tea. That’s a thing? How do you find out about that allergy?

 

 

 

Kelsey, 28

We got another beauty queen fresh from the cornfields! I think Peter’s gonna like her, because it seems like blondes are his type.

Can We Just: Uh oh, she says she’s like an onion. Here we go, Ashley S. 2.0. Yikes.

 

 

 

 

 

Kiarra, 23

A social butterfly who loves to talk. Great, enjoy talking to the press because I think she’ll be an early exit.

Can We Just: She’s “extremely” turned off by teeth grinders. How oddly specific?

 

 

 

 

Kylie, 26

Ohhh, she’s gotta go far, right? A Cali girl, a family girl, and a planner. Seems like she and her mom already have Mr. and Mrs. Weber wedding invites monogrammed already.

Can We Just: She’s looking for a rom-com type of love. But like, that’s all staged and fake? Wouldn’t you want something real?

 

 

Lauren, 26

She’s a BAWSE lady looking for a partner in crime. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders, lets hope a little camera time and future Insta endorsements won’t cloud that.

Can We Just: She gives all her exes exit interviews. I mean, actually kind of brilliant.

 

 

 

Lexi, 26

Also, she looks like she’d be Peter’s type. Oh boy, she’s ready specifically for a baby daddy. Buckle up, Peter.

Can We Just: She’d rather be buried alive than trapped in a room with frogs.

 

 

 

 

Madison, 23

At 23, she’s ready to settle down?? Like, I just don’t understand. Very faith-oriented. Interesting place to be to find love then.

Can We Just: A former basketball girl. Who’s still gloating about her high school glory days.

 

 

 

 

Maurissa, 23

A former teen beauty queen! What a twist. Mazel, congrats on her impressive weight loss.

Can We Just: She likes to break into song when she’s feeling confident. Well, you better rein that in now, because copyright.

 

 

 

Megan, 26

Geez, a third flight attendant? What, were they having a sale? She’s a hopeless romantic who didn’t let her parents’ divorce mess her dreams of true love up. Wow, impressive.

Can We Just: A “face mask enthusiast.” ABC, please make that her lower-third career. Please.

 

 

 

 

Mykenna, 22

Another baby of the crew! She’s a fashion blogger, so clearly, she can’t wait for the FabFitFun Insta deals to start rolling in this spring.

Can We Just: She’s obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy. Gotta get that ABC cross-promotion in, huh?

 

 

 

Natasha, 31

As Demi would call her “the cougar.” Her photo is not a great choice, the ABC photogs did her dirty with this one.

Can We Just: DISCO. YOGA.

 

 

 

 

 

Payton, 23

I can feel it: she’s a Level 5 clinger.

Can We Just: She admits to living in her parents’ basement. Like, thanks for sharing with the class but you definitely did not have to, girl.

 

 

 

 

Sarah, 24

A Southern Belle and book nerd!

Can We Just: She loathes slugs. Like loathes. That’s strong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Savannah, 27

She’s really ready to get out of Texas. How bout the Bachelor Mansion??

Can We Just: “She enjoys shopping at Revolve” and is really hoping for an endorsement deal after this is over. Sorry, had to give my edits.

 

 

 

 

Shiann, 27

Oof, she’s very unlucky in love. (I feel you, girl.) She loves traveling, so is that why she wanted to apply for this show?

Can We Just: The best part of her body is her lower back. How very specific.

 

 

 

 

 

Sydney, 24

Oof, another unlucky in love girl.

Can We Just: She enjoys planning fantasy vacations for her and her future husband. Why not actually go to those places??

 

 

 

 

Tammy, 24

She’s a house flipper! Hello, mini Joanna Gaines or JoJo Fletcher! She hasn’t told her mom she’s gonna be on the show, well, this bio is certainly one way to break the ice. I’d totally vote for her as Bachelorette, just saying. The 24-year-old young thing gives me pause, but her personality makes me think she’s mature enough or ready. Or at least, she’ll find her person in Paradise.

Can We Just: She doesn’t relate well to “blonde Barbie” types. Well, her time in the Mansion is sure to be quite interesting then.

Victoria F., 25

She wants a man to love her through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Hey, don’t we all?? A yogi and a medical sales rep, I can tell, while she may not find love on The Bachelor, she’ll walk away with some new besties. That is, if she makes it past L.A. dates.

Can We Just: She and her dog are a package deal. Again. bold move to start with that up front.

 

 

Victoria P., 27

Hey, I wonder if my family knows her family since they’re from the same time. Too weird? Ok, bye. Again, she seems like she’s just Peter’s type and will make it far and capture his attention. Ohh, and what do you know, she’s also a former pageant girl. What a shock.

Can We Just: Her biggest fear is chicken served on the bone. Welp. I think that beats scaredy-cat Annaliese.

 

 

 

And those are the ladies ready for the chance to romance Pilot Pete on national television. Who do you think will walk away with the Delta pilot’s final rose and who will snag the first management deal? And will Peter be the next star to compete on DWTS? Stay tuned this January for On the Wings of Love, Part II.

Roasting the New Crop of Suitors on Season 15 of “The Bachelorette”

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It’s that time again: the Bachelor Mansion has once again opened its doors to one eligible lady and a brand-new crop of 30 suitors clamoring for her attention and potential hand in marriage.

Before next week kicks off the season, let’s meet the guys. You know the drill by now: based exclusively on the headshots and brief bios, I will run through my first impressions and judgments of these men looking to date 24-year-old former beauty queen and recent college graduate Hannah “Beast” Brown. Let’s get started.

First off, here’s a brief look at each guy giving their best Hannah growling impression (is that supposed to be impressive? k, pls let me know, thx) and a sappy AF pick-up line, which turn around and go. Bye.

Now, the men:

Brian, 30

The Kentucky math teacher, guess what? Likes math. PASS. I mean this line is nice and all: “Brian is passionate about helping his students achieve their dreams and is hoping this journey will lead him to his dream woman,” but like, numbers. Nah, you lost me. But all in all, seems like an all-American yet slightly dorky white male.

Cam, 30

We met him at AFTR, where he rapped and got the first First Impression rose. My feelings were lukewarm even then. His bio stresses he is competitive, the life of the party, and loves The Notebook. Nice to meet you, Cam, and allow me to show you the door. Bye.

Chasen, 27

The Michigan-based pilot apparently chose his career because “women love a man in a uniform.” That’s why you chose your profession? NEXT, puh-lease. He is also a Bach superfan, so you know he can’t wait for his eps to air. Hey, you’ll be posting teasers on Insta weekly, amirite??

Connor J., 28

First off you know it’s a very basic and white season when there are multiple men with the names Connor, Luke, and Tyler. Moving on to lucky bachelor Connor J. His bio says he’s a Southern gentlemen and apparently has manners up the wazoo, but like, isn’t that something all guys say to try and land a girl?

Connor S., 24

He has Bieber fever! I feel like that says it all. Can I inquire what era is his favorite? Like shaggy-haired “Baby-“singing J.Biebs is completely different from mugshot, homeless-looking Biebs. And then, this line just rubs me the wrong way: “Not only is he easy on the eyes,” I just can’t.

Daron, 25

An IT consultant, he–of course– is a former college athlete and self-proclaimed “giant teddy bear.” Clay vibes, anyone??

Devin, 27

The talent manager (maybe he can manage the up-and-coming influencer careers of his soon-to-be housemates??) seems to really take value in love and finding his person. Oh, and also, Wills (from Boring Becca’s season) is a dear friend. Because how dear of a friendship could it be if all of ABC’s viewers didn’t know about it??

Dustin, 30

He just wants love, and by someone who will meet the approval of his mama and precious pooch.

Dylan, 24

This is just a sea of basic AF white boys, isn’t it?? The “handsome engineer” (I swear to god it actually said that.) founded a fitness company. PASS. Wait, dude can cook? Gotta circle back. (I mean, if you’ll feed me, aka a girl who can barely boil water, all can be forgotten.)

Garrett, 27

He is a pro golfer. And yawn. Also, an Alabama native. If he and Hannah get to talking, what are the odds ABC will subtitle them with their respective accents?

Grant, 30

OH, POOR BUDDY. His career is actually listed as unemployed. Yo, ABC, no fake or made-up title? Poor guy. I just can’t let it go. But, dude “has a hard time believing that any young guy who comes on The Bachelorette is ‘here for the right reasons,’ and he plans to call them out on it.” And so, I guess he’ll be shit-stirring the pot a bit?

Hunter, 24

Stand back Mr. Pro Golfer, we got a Pro Surfer ready to catch a wave into Hannah’s heart… (ABC, did I get your bio formula right?? Would you hire me? LOLOLOL). And he still lives at home with the ‘rents, so is he ready for marriage?

Jed, 25

This definitely-country boy is a singer-songwriter. Aw, our first one this season! I’m getting– what’s the country one’s name from seasons past– vibes? (Oh, Joshua with the leg tat from Idaho from JoJo’s season and Joe from Kaitlyn’s season, right? It’s the country boy thing.) I swear, drinking game for every time he shows up in a leather jacket this season!

Joe, 30

His career is “The Box King,” and I’m sorry, what? Oh, his family has a cardboard box business, okay, I guess that makes sense then. His cockiness, not so much. I’m sorry Joe but Bach Nation has room for only one Joe from Chi-town in our hearts: and that’s Grocery Story Joe.

Joey, 33

The old man of this batch of men is ready to settle down, minivan and all. Hey, Joey, if you show up to the mansion night one in a minivan, we’ll all know you just copied Garrett (the winner from last season), just saying…

John Paul Jones, 24

Why put your full name, unless you consider this your brand, acting audition, or whatever BS you label it as? His bio is basically one long, running gag about his three-word name. K, can you talk about anything else? Interests? Passions? Job? Family? Anything? Anything?

Jonathan, 27

He’s a server in LA, so basically an aspiring actor, right?? Another life of the party, always-clubbing dude, and I’m over it. Bye.

Kevin, 27

This small town guy had me saying “damn” to his career: “He works as a behavioral health specialist for the army, helping vets deal with trauma.” Mazel tov. And then, he enjoys “pumping iron” and travels… to the gym a lot. Check, please.

Luke P., 24

He’s looking extra Colton-like, right? This “good Christian boy” (I swear this info is coming direct LOL) really wants a wife, especially after some mysterious “religious awakening” in college, because sure.

Luke S., 29

He wishes he could be Nick Viall. He’s a political fundraiser, lover of tequila, apparently “once hit on Emily Ratajkowski and made her blush” and continues to talk about it all the time, and made a very inappropriate upon meeting Hannah on AFTR for the first time. Thank u, next.

Matt Donald, 26

First off, shame on ABC. You write this line: “Matt’s brother and parents are deaf, and he grew up speaking sign language.” And immediately follow it up with “We love a man that can communicate what he’s thinking with his hands without ever saying a word, and we think Hannah will too.” Boo. Thumbs down for the network. Onto him, woah, coming on really strong by saying he “loves Hannah and he hasn’t even met her.” No thanks to him and the network’s lack of a PC bio.

Matteo, 25

The guy founded a VR tech start up, has lived all over the world, is a strong and silent type, once chugged milk for a talent show, and oh yea, is a “sperm donor who has helped create 114 children for all types of families.” Ya know, just casually throw that in there.

Matthew, 23

He’s a “Car Bid Spotter” and I have legit no clue what that means. Auctioneering. A “Bid Spotter,” what? He has lots of tattoos, has never been out of the country, and enjoys exercising, and hanging with friends or his little sister, who is an actual toddler. And that about sums him up.

Mike, 31

This very energetic vet has a lot of swag and energy for all types of active activities. See ya later.

Peter, 27

Another pilot of the group. Do you think the two have ever crossed paths, or in the sky? You know, before living in a Cali mansion together and dating the same beauty queen? Also, how is your granny’s name a fun fact about you? He apparently is a fan of line dancing, which would immediately rule out a potential date in my eyes.  (Hey, my friend once twisted her ankle learning a line dancing. It’s dangerous, I’ve seen it firsthand!)

Ryan, 25

He’s a “Roller Boy,” no explanation given, but hey, dude, can I get one? He’s a risk-taker and adventurous, but hates birds. Nice to meet ya there, hope you enjoy your car ride home after a short journey.

Scott, 28

A Windy City native with spiky, gelled-up hair. He calls himself a catch and that’s all I need to bolt. But, he admires Kris Jenner, so before I split, can you please hand in an 1,000-word essay to the class on why you look up to the momager and savvy business mogul?

Thomas, 27

He’s not just a pro basketballer, he’s an international pro basketball player. Should I be oohing here? FOR A YEAR. He played pro ball overseas for ONE year, and that’s the career the show goes with??

Tyler C., 25

A former football player, and TBH, Hannah should run away from a guy boasting how he was almost in the NFL. No one wants a Colton repeat. *shudders*

Tyler G., 28

He’s laidback and would rather read than go clubbing. I’m on board. *keeps reading* He’s a Crossfitter and relaxes on his own boat. I retract my previous statement, y’all.

All in all, what a bunch of duds in this group. I wasn’t the most outspoken Hannah for Bachelorette supporter, but I honestly feel sorry for her. Because these guys are bland, and basic, and frankly not “here for the right reasons.” What can I say, I call it like I see it.

As much as I thought Colton and Becca’s respective seasons would be my last as a dutiful member of Bachelor Nation, honestly, the first look at the season has reeled me back in, and I’m here for the drama that’s coming, not for the journey or any potential to find an S.O. for a suitable amount of time before your Instagram blue checkmark arrives. So, I guess, I’ll see y’all on Monday nights.